Checking in daily to maintain focus #58

[Hidden]

Emotional day 4:

Today has been draining, packing day for my girlfriend. The yin and yang of emotions was powerful throughout the day, but the emotions were needed and made for a pretty good day together.

We got her car packed fairly efficiently, went to the store to buy food for dinner. I grilled porkchops and made mashed cauliflower, dinner was great. Then we went outside to enjoy the cool, early fall night.

This is when the sadness took over. We were sitting around our firepit, a place we love, and the emotions took over, much heavier than i thought they would be. We came inside and i put her in bed. I had to come down to the couch because if i stayed there she wouldn’t have stopped crying, not sure i would have either.

She leaves at 6:00 am.

Emotional day, still sober and so happy I’ve been sober to spend these last two days with her.

[zzz]

ENTER HERE

[Just_Laura]

Proud of you for keeping your control in that situation The last time I had thoughts like that, ‘it’s just one drink’, I fell off for 3 years. Please trust me when I say, that ‘one’ drink will never be worth it. Keep it up lady

[Dustysprungfield]

59 days no binge drinking. I’m ok. Hope you are too.
It’s a state of mind, the urge. It’s habit, maybe some physical things that will draw us to the drink or drug, particularly in the early days where the body depends on a particular thing it’s used to but once you flush it out of your system and the body adjusts it’s then a mental draw to the addiction. We need to balance out bodies and brain chemistry to function without it then battle with the mind to convince ourselves that it’s not needed. Simple really, but in practice as we all know it’s not so straight forward.

[Just_Laura]

Ugh! Been a long week physically. And still have one more workday to go Wednesday felt like a Friday but here we are again. Not terribly busy but my feet hurt. Training another new girl. Idk why tf they’re still hiring new people. The season is over and soon we’ll only be open 4 days a week. At least I know I’ll get hours.

Other than that, pretty boring day. Quiet night alone. Sure I’ll be getting some good sleep tonight. Hope the same for you all

[Alisa]

Congratulations @HoofHearted on the 5 Years! Awesome! You’ve helped so many on your journey.
Sorry about the news about your wife’s job. Hoping that all will be well in the end.
Thinking about you on both. Fingers crossed for good outcome.
Celebrate your 5 year achievement… it’s wonderful!

[Juli1]

22

Checking in, feeling love, be loved, loving and more love in a big fat field.
No cravings, no using, no suffering.

Enjoy your weekend,
do yourself something good today

[JennyH]

Checking in, Day 9. It is a beautiful day out there and the weekend so feeling very relaxed. I have a little more energy too.

I did not sleep that well. Was woken at 4am by my husband coming home from a rare night out. Then of course the serious snoring. Drunk people are annoying I just lay there so grateful to be sober. And now, waking up completely sober. I don’t ever want to go back to that. Luckily this is a rare occasion for my husband so I probably won’t deal with this again for months.

I hope everyone has a lovely, sober day.

[Amy30]

Day 252.

Greetings from nervous breakdown land!

Actually, today I’m feeling a bit better. I was up working until 1 am (fun times), but went to sleep without setting any alarms.

Next week is gonna be the most challenging in my beaurocratic journey. But for now, I really gotta focus on getting my work done. Whatever happens. Happens.

On the bright side, I worked out the numbers and next month I should have enough for a new phone. I haven’t had a new phone in nearly 4 years. So that’s exciting.

[Barber508]

Still sober…n haven’t used
Tomorrow makes 2wks

[Tragicfarinelli]

Had eleven days, beautiful Sober days…now on day one again. Checking in.

I was all good and actually a few things happened (no excuses) the car literally broke and wouldn’t start, so I missed yoga and missed a Friday night gym workout… my partner mentioned wine several times and so did a neighbour who joined us staring into the open bonnet of the car. Like, oh well; get a glass of wine, it’s Friday.

I think my subconscious self had already give in a few hours earlier at the first mention of it. So going down the high street to the garage to get a micro fuse led to supermarket stop…

Both me and the car still broken.

[Rob11]

Day 1008,

Overthinking , thinking, slept out, still in bed. Late evening sporting and release from treatment kept me awake.

Negative thinking seems to be my nature . Self pity that I had to go to such a centre etc. Now trying to focus on the positive. Without going there I wouldn’t have known that the adhd is at the centre of things. A total chaotic and impulsive life in which the booze took the role of self-medication. Very vulnerable for trauma. My trauma’s are still there but I see things a tiny bit brighter. It’s gonna be hard work. I just have to figure out what the role of AA/NA is in all of this. From others I know it’s tricky to work the steps with a lot of trauma. I have that experience so far, it really pushes me in if we discuss the steps so far. My sponsor only doesn’t seem to listen when I express my concerns about it. And just keeps coming back with one liners. Just work the steps etc. Triggering my never feeling heard button. I feel the need to set my boundary there. Any suggestions or experience on this are welcome.

Greetz

[Thumper1213]

Day 47.
Meeting this morning and grocery shopping and do something productive around my apartment. Hope everyone has a good day

[Jenny1972]

Thank you so much!

[JennyH]

Ahhhhh, I am sorry to hear that. Glad you came straight back on. The subconscious was what did it for me last time too. How are you feeling?

[Tragicfarinelli]

Down. Fed up. Hateful. Feel like I would do a better job of being sober alone by myself!

[Qhob13]

Checking in 28 days AF… 4 weeks… 30 days in my sights! Can’t believe it!

Couple phone chats and ripping out then fixing our flower beds is about all I have on the agenda today. Nothing too exciting happening in my world! Except sobriety, that’s happening and exciting! Lol

@DanaM56 that wasn’t very kind of your friend. Especially considering you’re there helping her out. Hard to not feel like she had it all there and pointed it out in hopes you would drink and she could do a “ha gotcha Dana isn’t sober!”

@DanaM56

For the first time in awhile I started reasoning with myself that I could certainly have a glass of wine. No one would know.

As far as this, YOU would know. And you’re the only one that has to go to bed with your truth. hang in there. Hope the rest of house sitting is uneventful! So close to triple digits, don’t let everything get your head in a blender!

@Hidden sorry it’s been an emotional couple days! You’re in such a tough situation. Glad you were able to stay sober and create some nice memories. So much better than being drunk and being left with awful memories of those final couple days. Wishing you peace friend! Hang in there and keep going!!!

@Just_Laura you’ve had quite a week, I’m not surprised your feet are feeling it! I hope you got some great rest and head into the weekend with some recharged batteries!

@JennyH oh Jenny. I’m glad you’re in a place where this doesn’t get to you. Also happy you are able to look at the situation and say glad that’s not me. vacuum and make some noisy smoothies when you wake up! I kid, enjoy your peaceful hangover free morning! Then make your husband wash your bed sheets for you so they don’t smell like his drunk sweat when you go back to bed tonight. Lol

@Amy30 I’m here in nervous breakdown land to deliver you more virtual hugs friend! I’m sorry the paperwork bullshit continues!! Hope you got some much needed restful sleep after working late. But yaaay for new phone. Glad you have a new thing to work toward! Hang in there beautiful!

@Tragicfarinelli sorry about the car! As you climb back on the wagon, I would recommend having a conversation with your partner about this and how repeatedly mentioning wine does not help you maintain your sobriety. Best wishes on day 1. You can do this!!!

@Rob11 stay focused on your sobriety and give yourself some time to get your footing after coming out of treatment. Be patient with yourself friend, that’s a huge change in your life and day to day. If you don’t feel like your sponsor hears you or like they aren’t a good fit, I would recommend trying to connect with a new sponsor.

Happy Sober Saturday TS fam!

[Mno]

1568

Last full day of my stay in the USA already. Time flies. One more day of taking it extremely easy. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Love from the Hill Country.

[Nordique]

Hey all, checking in on day 1196. I hope everybody has a good one!

[Noshame]

2 days no form or any type of marijuana
136 no drinking
67 no vapes or cigs

God is good

Talked to a old friend yesterday
He told me I’m not the same person I was in 2017 and he was completely heart filled. He also changed for the better for a fact.

We used to live together kind of. I remember bumming cigs off of him and I’m sure he remembers counting his lighter flicks to save lighters longer. He has sence grown so much. He is very spiritual sence 2017

I’ve grown because I remember myself in a messy room, in a messy lifestyle, working just to drink alcohol. I remember helping build a porch with a staircase while drinking on the job, just so I could drink that day. No pay, just booze.

That quite a while ago
Let’s all keep growing