Welcome! And congrats on 5 days! The first few were always the hardest for me. I totally understand how difficult it is trying to stop while living with someone who isn’t. My ex refused to move out for 9 months after I ended the relationship.
Goodluck with your upcoming changes. Sometimes that’s what you need. All the best 
Welcome RN.
Congratulations on your 5 days. Great job!!
I too have a spouse that drinks. When I find myself focusing on her drinking, then I’m not working My recovery. I have a hard enough time taking my own inventory, I don’t need to be taking hers.
This is a great place for support. I hope to see you around.
Hi and welcome, you’re doing great, those first few days can often be the hardest… Keep going 
You are doing so great Julia!
Day 231 sober. Arrived last night in Mexico City and drove to Puebla in crazy traffic. It is beautiful here today as we continue to launch a new plant.
Day 360
This day was okay-ish, except the blackout we had today. No work possible for one hour, I hope everything will be back online tomorrow 
Got some shrimp and tomatoes. So dinner will be very simple, fast and delicious 
But now shower, then cooking and then relaxing.
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
It will pass, I’m 100% sure 
We have good and bad days, it’s like waves in the sea. All will be good, don’t lose hope
5 more days!!! THAT’S AWESOME!
Im back it sucks
Thank you Sabrina, the good thing is it doesnt make me want to drink, think i need to do some more self care and self esteem work…ive got alot of money pressure and stresses at the moment and it seems to be coming out as self doubt
I’m glad you’re back… support and help for you while you get off and stay off your meth. Also a community here to help you from feeling so alone. 
Hello my beautiful folks,
Wow so i had a therapy session today, and I wanted to talk about my saddness but wr ended up talking about my anger…and my therapist called it right out. I was talking about this on another thread as well, that having people reflect rhings back like that at you can be very helpful, but generally there has to be a sort of bond there and an understanding pf whats going on…and oh tact is lovely too 
My instant KNEE JERK is to fall into shame…bad Mira for being angry. Bad for having resentments. Bad for being hard on the CPS worker who is literally just trying to do her job and does care. Bad bad bad. It is sooooo hard not to fall into that shaming part of me that knows resentment just eats you up.
I am learning, in this difficult situation I am in to navigate my strengths of argumentation and getting things done and being aggressive. I do have a lot of anger, and I know ita not something I just want to let run my life. I have to get down to the feelings under, saddness and fear, helplessness and hopelessness…all feelings I hate because I dojt want to be a “victim” and part of me wants to be in control of my destiny, I want to make sure that if there is a rock to be overturned for my nephew that I will overturn it no matter how heavy…and in some ways, many i suppose it has been at the expense of myself. My sister has been murdered, my life has been FLIPPED upside down, we spent our savings renovating so my nephew could have his own room that he needs because he is special needs…AND IT DIDNT EVEN WORK. I am talking to my 7 yr old daughter about murder, and domestic homicide. Like GAH YES i am angry. Feels like I am fighting fighting all the time and I am SO TIRED. And thats what I said to her when we started out, I am…so tired.
I do not want to drink again, I do not want to be in anger or fewl like I have to fight endless on a road with no light…what direction am I going in? I have to trust, I have to leap, I have to honor all the messed up feelings inside. Something I notice that helps me immensely is reading and listening (in real life) to other peoples stories…where they are. I dojt sit and think “well i got it worse”, but instead hear like wow…we all going through stuff. This is a good indicator to me that I am on the right path.
I saw the thread about things that can fuck right off and wanted to write and then realized my list is too long and too fuxking dark. And that to me, indicates that I need to work through my resentment section on the 4th Im working on. I had put it down for a bit, realizing I was not going to 4th my way to sobriety. But I need to go ovet that section first, sit with that anger before I just to fear and harms. The anger is big, and I cannot will it away.
So for the rest of the day, Im going to do my best to challenge the shaming part of me that heard my therapist say my anger is “bad mira”. She is pointing something out, facing me with something, that I know. My anger-part serves a purpose, she is a part of me but she needs to step aside so other parts of me can be heard. I CAN get through this without relying on my rage. She needs to be cared for, like I have been caring for my drinking-part…
Okay. So heres not to shaming myself lets give it a go! Xo everyone & have another 24. Xo.
It will pass.
Be gentle with yourself.
Love you
Thanks for this sweet feedback!!!
Ohhh…thank you Julia, love to you too
25
Checking in sober.
Feeling good 
25! Thats awesome! 
Thank you so much!
I had been there…
And I still am afraid to say, this time is different.
I am addicted and the voice might smash in.
I had tools before.
I still have tools.
But there truly are some other differences,
I make.
The voice doesnt have to win, because it enters your head you dont have to act on it, im an addict too but you can overcome this, your doing great xx
