Sorry about all your health issues Jazzy. I have a lot of back problems and it makes sleeping very difficult. I spend many sleepless nights in pain so I can empathize with you. Hope the doctors can find answers for you soon. Big props on staying sober while dealing with that!
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Thanks Kim ā i am sorry that you are dealing with back problems. Sucks having those sleepless nights. props to both of us my friend. we are finding a better and healthier way to deal with the pain. I hope you are enjoying your 2 weeks of sobriety.
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Apologies, Iāve not kept up with posts on here. Just skipped through the last 300 posts and dished out some hearts.
Iāve nothing major to report. Pictures are from an interactive light installation, I visited last week. Wizard of Oz themed: Old Abbey ruins as Emerald city and an actor as the tin man.
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I am, my husband just borrowed my car to go get ārefreshmentsā because I wouldnāt go get it for him. I hope someday he chooses to sober up, but until then, I will continue with my journey and try not to be phased. I know I canāt be responsible for his choices,
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The app has been acting strange for me the past few days. Not necessarily slow, but it will say a thread is updated and show the person that posted but when I click on it it goes back to the last time I was there, and doesnāt show the update, even though it still does on the main page. Actually, also, pictures arenāt loading, or it takes a while. Maybe itās being worked on?
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tired
Day 701
Things have been so crazy here with the final preparations for Jās funeral on Monday that I didnāt even realise I had hit 700, now Iām into 701.
Thankful for everyone who has offered support, Iām ok, just not feeling like talking, sharing, opening up etc. just concentrating on being there for my sister.
I wouldnāt wish her pain on my worst enemy but I wish I could take it from her and if I could I would in a heartbeat. We now both know the pain of losing a child and I can only empathise with her for the loss, losing a baby at birth is painful but having your child taken because someone took their life deliberately is a different kind of loss that I donāt think anyone can comprehend
Sending you all love!
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TMNT for the win zo
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My heart goes out to you and your sister. It must be a devastating time, and circumstances of someones death make it all the more challenging whenbit is something like that.
I lost my own daughter 4 years ago. She was our second child, Ćva and she died 2 weeks after she was born. The journey through healing there was very difficult, though it many ways (and I cannot fully explain it) I also felt a great positivity around our daughter and all her short life gave us.
My younger sister was killed a year ajd a half ago, and I do not conpare these two in terms of what the person meant but the loss of my sister has been tremendously harder and I know a great deal of it is because of how she died and the aftermath.
I share as a nod to you both. As not many know the loss of a child; fewer have to live through murder of a child or loved one. I wish you both strength, love and support as you go forward. I know telling people you are not alone works in some cases, but it is very lonely also when it is fresh. I hope you can lean on each other & xo.
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Jazzy I am so sorry you are in so much pain and your body is giving you so much difficulty. I am thinking of you & hope today you were able to get so rest. You are so strong and resilient to remain sober and work through all of the mental, while your body fights you. Sending strength to you. Xo.
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Checking in on day 214!!!
āāā
7 Months!!!
āāā
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Congratulations!!!
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I just saw, so tragic. And he was just on a book tour promoting his memoir where he lays it all out about his addictions and recovery. Iām grateful he was able to get his story out to the world and he said he had hoped he could help one person.
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@mira_d oh I am glad you were able to have a lovely birthday celebration for your nephew. You really have gone through an enormous tragedy and have taken on a lot. I do hope the CPS worker and your lawyer come through with a good resolution that works our for all of you. Appreciate you my friend. Grateful that we are working through all of lifesās crap sober. 
This is key ā grateful that you are staying strong in protecting your sobriety. We really are only responsible for our own choices (great reminder).
@bomdhil Ah man Thomas so sorry you are so tired. I do hope you get some rest this weekend. You are kicking ass at 9 days my friend ā excited to see you double digits is hours away
@brokenwolf way to go on your 700 days milestone Richard! 
Sending much love to you my friend. I can understand not wanting to talk and share while you are grieving. We are here for you when you are ready. I am grateful that you are able to be there for your sister. So very sorry for your loss and wishing you so much love and comfort in addressing these times.
@ashley_luvz_starz Congrats on 7 months Ashley ā keep going strong 
Checking in on Saturday night
I did spend most of my day in bed - not feeling any better but do feel rested so that is a win for today. I am grateful that i did get all my accounting work caught up and am fully transferred to new operating system.
Thank you everyone - your kind words mean the world to me. It is a struggle but I, like all of us here am making this beautiful journey sober. I just remind myself that my health will never get better if i ever go back to my addictive lifestyle. Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening! Sending so much love 
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Checking in day 476 AF and 64 days smoke free.
The last few weeks Iāve been struggling with my Sobriety.
Iām glad this forum is there when I need it.
Thank you for all the beautiful and inspiring stories.
Thanks TS for reminding me of never to take my sobriety for granted
Have a amazing sober day my Friends 
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Today was so much better than yesterday. Not at first tho. I woke up still miserable and exhausted. Got to work and everyone was dressed up. I put on some cat ears and decided to take care of regular dining service since everyone was scheduled for the kids party. Glad somebody thought of it bc it was decent. And I thoroughly enjoyed doing it by myself.
Had a scary thought though. Someone ordered a bloody mary, and I had the ice and vodka already in a glass when they changed their mind. So I set it aside, possibly using it if the right order came through quick. In the past, I simply would have mixed it into something I liked and hide it in a to-go cup. And I thought about that. And that it would āhit the spotā right about now. Even though I also thought that was a terrible idea. And it sat there a moment. Then I said to myself āyou better dump that shit right now you idiot!ā I just didnāt like the few seconds it took to get there.
I went home, ate, did some cleaning, then I layed down for half hour but didnāt fall asleep bc I wasnāt tired enough. I wrote a simple list I wanted to get done and was off. Since work has been fruitful I decided to go spend a bunch of money on things we needed. Got the buzz of a shopping spree but felt much more accomplished 
Got a late night car wash too. The other day I got out of work and my car was covered with bees. I noticed little droplets all over it and when I cleaned it, it came back the next day. Iāve been parking under maple trees for 6 years and am just realizing what itās been doing to my car 
I need to schedule a real detail. Itās been years and she deserves it.
Anyway. Today was good. Yay! Canāt wait til I get out of work tomorrow 
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Good to see you, Roland. Iām glad you came here when you needed some extra support. Youāre never alone and Iām glad you know it.
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58
Checking in 58 days AF
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