1618
Had a shortish night. But feeling OK. Work was good last night. Mostly friendly patients that are trying hard to help themselves and each other. Hoping for a repeat of that today.
As there were too many showers around yesterday, I didn’t bike to work. Will try again today, the weather looks better, it’s supposed to be the one dry day this week. Here’s hoping.
Otherwise not much to say today. Wishing you a day as good as you can make it of course. Sober and clean. Love.
*Day 1880 
Nice number combination, on my way to the nineties 
Morning all, checking in on Day 59 (mini celebration here as that is my longest sober streak 
)
Still going strong too, although had some cravings and questioning thoughts yesterday. My husband mentioned his Mum buying alcohol in for Christmas and him explaining I don’t drink. Then of course the “but for Christmas?” conversation happened and it made me start questioning it. I did shut it down but those thoughts are definitely lingering. I also poured my Dad a glass of Guiness last night as he was really fatigued with his stroke symptoms. I could have said no but then I would have had to explain why, and watched as he pushed himself to do it himself. These things aren’t triggering me to drink right now, but worry there is a drip drip affect as we approach Christmas. I need to be vigilant!
Overall I am loving sobriety, it feels like a real gift. I don’t want to spoil that my trying to negotiate the odd drink for special occasions, that is just exhausting and never ends well!
Have a really good sober Sunday everybody. Thank you for all being here. I don’t think I could have made my longest streak without you all 
Congrats on your longest sober streak Jenny! As to continuing it, take it one day at a time and decide each and every day you won’t drink. And take a black and white, do or die approach. Never again. No and zero and none and no way. 
Day 141. Out of sorts. My dad is OK but his walking seems shot… Made me think about my own work life balance, present and future plans and I can’t help thinking what matters most is time with people I love rather than working forever. I think my confidence at work isn’t as solid as it use to be.
Congratulations on your 59 soon to be 60 days @JennyH
I’m sorry the questing has already started for you. Yeah holiday season looks like a Damocles sword over our heads, but it doesn’t have to be!
We want to celebrate with our loved ones and we want to be clear and present. We don’t miss out on anything without alcohol but instead we gain so much from being sober! Like @Mno it is only one decision each day. It yes or no. There’s no such thing like a glass of wine for Christmas or a drink for New Year’s Eve. No that’s not gonna happen! It is staying sober and enjoy your new won freedom of this poison or start to drink again with all the terrible consequences you fought so hard to leave behind you! Questing this and your inner discussion about it takes so much energy, it took for me though. For me it is actually easier now that I accept it!
I can’t have only one ! Check 
I never want to go back to we’re I started!
So I decided not to suffer anymore.
And with time I realised…( It took me ages to finally realise but with my last attempt I definitely did and I can feel it deep down in my heart and soul) …
I DON’T WANT TO DRINK ANYMORE!
It’s not only that I don’t need to drink, I simple don’t want to drink because I’ve learned that I’m much better with people around me when I don’t drink! I’m happier and more confident and relaxed in company. And I’m enjoying gatherings with friends and family much more now.
Sorry for the long post Jenny. I just want you to know. There’s not one good reason to drink!
Take it one day at a time and simple say no to the first drink and you never have to worry again about the next one.
Have a love Sunday my dear.
Hey all, checking in on day 1246. I hope everybody has a good one!
Thank you so much for replying, you are absolutely right. It is so tempting to listen to the people that moderate successfully at times. The thing is, I don’t even want to drink particularly, I just don’t want to be the odd one out! So silly really. I am challenging every thought of missing out I have. I will be even stronger by Christmas, and over 100 days. I am not throwing that away!
I am about 14 hours in my first 24. I had to reset my counter yet again. This is my 30th reset since since restarting my sobriety journey over the last few months or so. I can not get passed a few days…once not that long ago I made it to a legitimate 10 days but then of course a reset because I slipped up. When I slip up I basically just go back in full throttle. Negative things I’ve noticed about my general well being while using include, vomiting and other digestive disturbances, my mood is terrible, sleep all over the place, not eating right( too much or not enough), night sweating and other body temperature issues. I must stop!!! At this point my tolerance to just about EVERYTHING is so high that buying pills is a total waste of money. I’m done. I HAVE TO BE DONE!!! AS IF MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!!! Mainly because it does. I don’t want to live in this fucking prison of addiction any longer. I blame my life and all of it’s circumstances, or God or the universe but in all reality I know the real problem is my addiction and the constant weakness of giving into it. Play the tape. I have to remember to play the tape. I have to continue to look at the list of terrible effects it all has on me to help me play the tape. I’m going to just look at it as 24 hours at a time…I don’t necessarily need minute by minute because then I obsess over that and then relapse.
I’m usually quiet on here, but consistently read and there are so many inspirational people here and your stories give me hope and motivation. Have a super sober day everyone!
Welcome to the community. Ae you working any type of program? Or are you just trying not to use. What type of things are you doing to change up your lifestyle. It’s hard to just quit without help.
Checking in Day 23)
Back in my local coffee spot today. Actually the reason I come in here is because one of my old drinking buddies is the manager - We go to AA together 
It’s directly opposite a pub I used to work and drink in and we both reflected on just how strange it is that not very long ago, we would’ve been literally on the other side of the street throwing back pints and now we’re in a coffee shop sipping in Hazelnut lattes!
I had the worst fucking craving last night. It was like screaming going on in my head that I couldn’t stop - like someone was trying to kill me with inner noise. I spoke to my sponsor and he gave me some great simple advice.
I came to a serious epiphany really - I can’t stand loose ends, unfinished business and not having all the answers to everything all the time immediately. Fuck, who even does? Looking back, there’s a shit ton of scenarios I can think of where this happened and I turned to drinking. Especially after the last 2 years. It’s fucking impossible for me to box stuff off and shelve it without it being done and dusted.
This week, I’m going to try and write down all the shit I have that I considered unfinished and see if I can start to let it go.
Coffee breaks resume tomorrow.
Hugs not drugs
Day 58
I’m certainly using cannabis as an alcohol replacement and am having difficulty cutting back. Sigh. Replacing one with another…my goal is to have a year of no alcohol then work on cannabis. Not asking for advice cause I know being so called California sober can be controversial in some forums.
Going to check out my first meeting with a supportive friend as we near the US Thanksgiving holiday.
Happy to be alcohol free!
T.
Day 158,
Celebrating my sons birthday with parents and brother and his partner went fine I geus. Some feelings, amongst them jealousy. My brother and his man wear new clothes regularly. I’m getting through my clothes at the moment, haven’t really shopped for two-three years now. Although I write it down here, I notice the self pity is not that big. As long if I keep putting my one foot before the other and take it ODAAT , things should be fine. Just had diner and played some monopoly before. Felt I needed to step aside a bit after diner and said I was going for a quick nap. So here I’m checking in. They will leave soon and I’ll be bringing my son back to his mother.
Greetz
Day 715
What A F@cking Day!
Fed up! P!ssed Off! Done!
Glad to hear from you @anon84358113. Create a list of things you can do when you are tempted to relapse. Go thru all of them in those trying times and then ask yourself if you still want to relapse. The hardest part is getting thru those early cravings. They are strong and incessant. Build a plan for when those cravings test your will power because you and i know they will.
Keep fighting! You deserve a happy sober life
