Thank you @Dazercat 
it means a lot 
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Day 16!!! Onwards to day 20!!!
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Checking in. Struggling with not vaping. I wish i could get rid of these cravings. Otherwise a beautiful day
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Hi all,
I am back after another break where I was on/off sober. This has culminated in a period of heavier drinking and then ending up covered in vomit last night. I know that I’m running away from things and trying to blast through my feelings with alcohol. I HATE this drug, HATE it, for nearly ruining my life so many times.
Can I ask people for advice on what was the most helpful thing in sticking to early sobriety? I am starting therapy this week - both on Betterhelp and in person and I am going to do some work on myself because I think that this is the main problem. I am running away from feelings, fears, insecurities and that is why the last couple of years of drinking have been worse if anything.
I am humble to any advice. I think I’ll need to go back to AA this week too and try and get some sober friends.
Sending love to you all.
Freckles xx
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Checking in
Day 651
Really tired today. I couldve slept another 3 hours probably. But i had to get up for work. So im here now. Day is going well so far. Just feeling like id rather be home instead, puttering around, cleaning, doing laundry etc. Anyway, hope everyone has a fantastic day! 
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Welcome back Freckles.
@Freckles2
Always good to see you come back.
Don’t think 
Do!
Great idea!
Dan started a great thread while you were gone.
I hope to see you around.
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@just_laura Damn that would drive me nuts not knowing LOL. I’m sorry for the accidental sip and the sick feeling you had afterwards. Definitely not a reason to reset the timer. I would see it as a reinforcement on why you will never go back. Who would want to go back to the sick stomach feeling?
@jennyh hey love – been a while – how are you doing?
@hdrew95 way to go Harry – congrats on your 90 day milestone. 
Grateful that you are seeing the benefits of sobriety… keep up the great work 
@sobermama39 WOW – that is a great attitude and I am so happy for the new you. You handled it well and are so right – we can only be responsible for ourselves - we can only control our own actions. 
15 + days and you are doing so well
@deelzebub ah that depressive feeling can FRO! I am sorry that you are dealing with this Delia. Are you feeling any better since you posted? I do try to let my body sink into a comfort zone even if I can’t sleep I create an atmosphere that will allow me to drift off if needed. I also at the same time think positive thoughts and try to meditate if possible. Sending you many healing vibes Here if you need to talke. Glad you were able to get out of the house – hope it helped.
@maestro Man I do hate the high and lows – grateful that you were able to get yourself to the gym and are feeling better for it. Happy Sunday!
@happyfeet Nicely done- sober with 120 days and feeling blessed – 4 months is a wonderful achievement – life is great! It really is possible and yes so fuc… worth it – loved reading that. Thank you Anne Keep going strong
@catmancam Thank you friend Oh my – not sleeping well or at all is so draining on your body. I do hope that you can get back on a regular sleep schedule soon. May need to talk to your doctor about it you continue to have sleepless nights. Glad that you did get a wave but I know that isn’t enough. Sending you calming vibes my friend. 
@noshame Way to go – 200 days is amazing work. Keep kicking ass – I see you working so hard on all your timers
@mischa84 OH love – never apologize for the amount of pics – you and the boys are adorable and always brighten up my day when I see those smiles. Glad you and Anthony had a wonderful day one on one
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Learn to sit with your feelings. When your strong emotions come up recognize what you are feeling and feel it. I was surprised at the spectrum of emotions I had been avoiding. When it gets too hard to sit with those feelings come here, find a meeting or tell another soul about it.
Welcome! I’m glad you are here.
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@cjp Ah love – sorry the vape cravings are hitting hard. You are stronger than this addiction. It can’t bring you anything but a spiral back to addictive behavior. Scream it out, keep yourself busy! I do hope the cravings dissipate soon for you
@freckles2 welcome back to the community Freckles. Grateful to hear that you are starting your therapy and AA meetings and are just working on yourself and working on the sober path. Are you able to remove all alcohol from the home? For me, keeping myself busy in whatever way shape or form was key in keeping my thoughts away from the cravings. I did sleep a lot at the beginning. You are already surrounding yourself with support which I think is key as we are unable to do this alone. I was very active here for my first few months. Changing up your routines and social circles is also important so you stay away from triggers and can retrain your mind to find different associations with activities / events etc. Sending you strength – welcome to day 1! Hope to see you around.
Checking in on Sunday morning
Oh wow - it is snowing here. I do love the first snow of the season. Only supposed to get 3 inches so luckily driving won’t be affected.
Grateful for a lovely day to be alive and moving. I was able to have my mom time this morning which was lovely. About to do some light stretching, take a hot salt bath and take a nap. Hope you all enjoy your Sunday.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day /evening. Sending you all so much love
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Thanks so much @JazzyS - that is really helpful. I am not able to remove it all from the home because my partner drinks but I have removed it from site. Its not really a trigger in the home. Its going out and being with friends that is the trigger. Having had a look online it looks like rehab is incredibly expensive but I am going to look at other 12 step programmes. I am going to keep being active on the apps. Thank you, I think sleeping and probably exercising a little less will likely be a result, the last few times my sugar cravings have gone through the roof!
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Thanks @Dazercat - always feel so much love from the amazing sober community, and no one shouts at me for going and coming back (we all know our own self-criticism and that of our partners is probably stronger than anything else). Actually my partner has been amazing today. I asked him to just cuddle me, and give me love today and that I will be thinking and reflecting on my behaviour and drinking. I ordered us a takeaway and we spent time cuddling the cat. My life is too valuable to keep the booze. Hope all well with you and your journey. I will keep revieiwing everyones helpful recommendations.
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Sugar cravings are huge …I went for dark chocolate and ice cream. Our body is trying to replace all the sugar we were getting from alcohol. I went with the surgery stuff and found it month 3 it died down
I can understand not being able to remove all alcohol from home…I too kept it out of my sight and added many la Croix and seltzer water drinks for my go to.
For the beginning stages (until you start feeling comfortable) maybe stay away from friends/ triggers if possible. Always have a plan in mind if you do have to socialize.
We got your back here…glad to see you so determined for your recovery
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Hey there 
I was a blackout drinker too. I can tell you your drinking was worse these past couple years bc your disease is progressing. It isn’t ever going to get better. You could go months without a drink and pick right back up where you left off. I know bc it’s happened to me many times. I know and understand this and that’s why my advice works, for me at least.
Tell yourself ‘no’. I know it’s so simple I almost find it ridiculous to suggest, but that is what saved me in the beginning. As soon as I felt the inkling to go to the store I said NO. Usually outloud. Or in my head as many times as it took. ‘No. You know what will happen. You’ll regret it tomorrow. Just no.’ Use that hatred you have towards alcohol. It is your enemy. Keep that connection alive every day. Do that until you’re in bed, and you got another day under your belt.
The more days, the easier it gets. Even today, at 284 days, I still have those thoughts, how easy it could be to numb things, but I still shut them down with NO.
This forum, along with AA, is a lifesaver for me as well. Don’t be afraid to share and be truthful. You will be understood and accepted. Have patience with yourself, and with time, things will fall into place. Welcome back
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319 days sober. Just planning to hang out with the fam and do some housework. Maybe get outside at some point. Feeling the starts of some joint/muscle aches and headache. Not as bad as a hangover. I don’t get sick often and it’ll pass soon. Have a good day, all.
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Day 648 and its a day off. I’ll start it off with books and coffee.
I had a quick Thanksgiving on Thursday and my husband skipped it completely so today we are going to make our favorite Thanksgiving sides. It’ll be mashed potatoes and gravy and green bean casserole from scratch and Stove-Top stuffing from the box (the box tastes better, fight me 
). We had to buy the pork stuffing which happens to be vegan because my husband is vegetarian. That feels like one of those children’s games where you match the animal to its picture but none of the right ones fit.
I think the day will be pretty lazy. We’ve been watching the old Mad Max movies and Beyond Thunderdome is next. The first two were GREAT, a little rough if you are a sensitive softie like me but very entertaining. I love a motorcycle chase and any excuse for an extravagant costume. Maybe I’ll wear sequins while I cook in honor of Tina.
I feel settled in my soul today. Onward! 🩶🩷
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Day 155, took my parents and rest of family out for a Sunday roast today. So good to see everyone together
Driving back to Cornwall tomorrow. And have Tuesday off as I could do with a day at home to chill after however the journey goes tomorrow
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I think you are on to a really good thing putting the work in, especially meetings and therapy. I was Sober for a year plus (which was magnificent by the way, so lovely) then started drinking again. Since then, May/June time and over the last 6 months I’ve been on and off, 50 days off/ 30 days off… Now on day 6 again.
I’ve given up now on trying to moderate, what’s the point, it doesn’t work. It’s a sick carousel where only you will hurt, and you find out hard to stop it. If you truly want to start somewhere, then start by drawing a line in the sand. I can’t help with anything to do with moderation, because, quite honestly, it’s bullshit. For me.
Stick around and share with us, we are here to support you. Glad you are here
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Congratulations on 200 days X
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Hiya Freckles. Great to see you back here. Excellent advice from our friends.
I just wanted to add that for me, getting through the early days was through reading. I read loads on here, every day. I also educated myself on how alcohol affected brain chemistry through podcasts and books. It’s hard to unknow what you learn, if you get me.
Hope to see you around X
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