Definitely can!!!
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Day 79 ā¦still havenāt used
Just a normal Wednesday at work 
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@mno grateful your evaluation went well and that you are valued at work. Also good for your health to have no more late shifts. Happy for you friend.
@runningfree Ah love ā I am so sorry that you are feeling so sick. I do hope that you are able to recover quickly. Sending you healing vibes my friend. Thank you for letting us know 
@rob11 oh my goodness ā that sounds scary and I am sorry you went through all of that. Please keep someone on standby in case you do experience withdrawal effects. Be safe Rob 
@tragicfarinelli I am far from healed from my outbursts and my anger / resentment but I do feel like this time in my recovery, I have gotten much better with it and also getting better to manage it. For me, I also found that I run a bit hot internally and by backing off from foods that create heat I was able to address my anger more level headedly (sounds weird as I would never have associated food with my anger issues but it worked). Please do not feel embarrassed or ashamed. We do not realize all that is going on inside us (emotionally as well as physically and psychologically). For one you can see a therapist but at the same time give yourself grace for all the other stuff your body is going through. We are doing our best to get through day by day and on the outside seem ok but on the inside are working on many different fronts ā the slightest disruption can put a wrench in our progress and cause a blow out (this is how I would see it for myself). This is your journey and you do not need to explain yourself to anyone. Do take a deep breath as you embrace the day. Sending you hugs and comfort. 
@just_laura OMG ā at first I thought the picture is what you considered a dusting 
I do know your area gets hit hard. Grateful for the kids willing to make some $$ on these days. My old neighborhood did not have any and that always baffled me.
@selflove_42 it is not an easy decision to make especially if you are comfortable in your current job and have a good relationship with the boss. Take your time with it and go with your gut. Our instincts are spot on when we are able to listen to them. Wishing you luck with your decision making.
@sillyandsober Welcome Kate ā glad you are here with us. Congrats on your 9 days 
@SadMemeQueen howās it going Megan?
Checking in on Wednesday morningā¦
A cold snowy day with lots of sunshineā¦ still no clouds in the sky. I am well enough. Have showered and going at my snails pace in getting things done ā¦ they are getting done so that is the key 
It is a beautiful day and i am wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening! Sending you all so much love
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How are you doing? Hope you are fully recovered and feeling better.
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been better thanks for thinking of me, Iāll post an update now
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thanks friend - you got that rightā¦ we got to remember that it is not a race to the finish line but slow and steady gets the job done ā¦ appreciate the reminder.
Glad to have you on this journey with us 
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Thanks! And welcome! Glad youāre here!
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day 637 of no self harm
been rough. lots of doctor troubles. I canāt even bother to type it all out, basically I had a new appointment patient with a primary care doc but she cancelled so I saw a temp doc to get some referrals going. he was incredibly dismissive and completely ignored my requests, literally sent a referral to a place I told him didnāt have the equipment for what I needed, gave him the phone number and address for a place I know has the equipment and he ignored it. he told me the symptoms in talking about arenāt in my chart which is absolutely not true, and when he asked about my meds I mentioned my anxiety meds. and he said ādo you take them because you need them or just feel like you need them?ā never seeing that doctor again.
my new patient appointment is set for the end of December so hopefully they actually follow through and see me this is the 2nd time Iāve had my appointment cancelled last minute.
been sick for almost a week. I think I have the flu or some sinus/ear infection. itās been miserable. when Iām sick I take even less care of myself. Iāve been eating like 2-4 snacks a day at best. also very dehydrated and my nails have become really brittle. COVID negative though
a family friend passed away. i didnāt know her very well but she was a big part of my childhood for a short time, she was my grandmaās best friend. going to her funeral Friday. Iām okay but now all of my grandpas friends have passed so Iām worried about him.
my other grandpa (on my dadās side) has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. itās spread to his bladder. he starts treatment soon. Iām just worried about his mental state more than anything. his wife/my grandma is borderline evil at points. he had a stroke a few years ago and he asked her to move things upstairs for him and she told him no if he wanted something done he better learn to walk. the only reason it got done is because my dad and I volunteered. she shakes him in public for practically anything. going through chemo and radiation has to be hell and heās doing it essentially alone. he has no one aside from me, my sister, my parents and his wife and weāre not very close. him and my grandma lived in California until I was 15 or so and with my grandmaās toxic behavior I keep my distance. Iām going to be there for him best i can I just donāt see him very often.
i have a toxic distant uncle who never once visited his dying mother but then visited my grandpa when we thought he was dying , not out of concern, out of spite. he wanted to get there before anyone else so no one else could see him since at the time only one visitor was allowed each day. he shows up every couple of years, sticks around for the holidays and leaves. i used to enjoy spending time with my cousins (his kids) but they ignore my existence now.
thatās about it. been a bit of a crazy time.
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Feeling better from the covid, but I passed it on to husband, and now my daugther. The pains and anxiety have been manageable for a bit of a while so Im happy for that.
Hope everything is all good with you?
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Hi Karen,
thank you so much and welcome to the club 
My mentor gave me an excersise to write down my life in 2 years with drinking and without drinking. Like a split screen method with a higher horizon into the future.
That was very helpful too!
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Hi Cindy, glad to meet you!
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Welcome to the show Kate!
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Day 651 and it is business as usual. Iām currently drinking coffee and reading before I head into work. Iāll be brining a post-Thanksgiving turkey breast for the 8 hours Iām at work and then Iāll pop it in the oven at 10 pm when I get home. Iām most excited about turkey and wild rice soup.
Stay warm soberinos.
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Day 15. Well I did make it to group today so Iām proud of that. Back is killing me though which sucks, I was very tired and lazy this morning very ungrateful although I did try to say wat I was grateful for. Last night I talked to the two sisters from church and we had good conversation, they did ask me to do the prayer and I declined bc I do not feel comfortable yet, even over the phone. But tomorrow they want me to go to the church and just meet with them so they can show me around. I said ok, I will. I also messaged my aunt who is Catholic and told her about it and she asked what church and I told her the church of latter day saints. She then said I should stay away from them bc they believe in different things. Which really upset me bc I figured shit Iām trying something new what does it matter what religion or belief they have. Idk I didnāt realize they were Mormons but that doesnāt really bother me. They seem nice and Im just trying to do something different. So idk now I feel confused but I really would like to give something different a try
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@sadmemequeen ah hell Megan ā so sorry to hear about your damn temp doctor and that your appointments keep getting cancelled. What a total ass! Even if your symptoms were not in the chart why would he not take the symptoms seriously now? Sorry to hear about your grandpa love- do hope that you are able to spend time with him. I am sure he appreciates the love and care. Sending you love and healing vibes ā hope you start to feel better soon.
@wakikki Damn ā I hate getting sick but then being in a household where it just gets spread around is absolute nuts. Hope they recover soon. I am also in manageable mode right now which is nice.
@mindofsobermike Way to go on making group today! My two cents is go and explore the church and your new friends. I know religion is such a touchy topic and so I wonāt go into more but it is your journey and you should feel free to try out different things. I do believe that the fundamentals are all the same and with anything else in life ā you take what you want and leave what doesnāt work for you till you find the right fit. Wish you strength in whatever decision you make. Great work on 15 days Mike ā absolutely crushing it. Hope your back feels better soon.
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Not well. Well being an understatement.
They say things come in threes and boy have they been getting worse each time. Iāll be grateful if this is the third and final thing.
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Thanks @JazzyS i appreciate your words. I have always been really angry, and even as a child, grown men would chirp ācheer up love, it might never happenā to. Which would make me crawl into my own sphincter spiritually and my self esteem diminished.
Itās a case for me that I know I can be an asshole and annoying as fuck. I donāt however always have the words or ability or want to explain myself, or to set a sandwich board up in front of me saying ācrazy insecure bitch with a heart of gold once I get to know you and no longer want to kill you, but will still be a selfish lazy fuck daily, even thenāā¦
With my particular personality, I am very used to people not liking me at all as they assume Iām snobby or distant or cold. Iām just introverted and difficult and shy. Then that rejection puts another brick in the wall of defence.
Iām really going to do a hell of a lot of work on myself about all this.
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Ugh I feel you. My dadās been trying to help me move stuff from his house to my new place and Iāve been so angry and bitchy, rolling my eyes to myself when heās just trying to help. Or having no patience with my son. I was just telling my best friend today Iāve never felt like more of a bitch in my lifeā¦canāt wait for my emotions to settle out. Iām on day ten now of no weed or alcohol. Iāve given up alcohol before but never weed so itās an adjustment for sure. Hang in there and know youāre not alone š«¶š»
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For sure.
I know this is bigger than the alcohol however, itās a real emotional defect I need to own and work.
Back at you, here if you want to vent.
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Iām diagnosed with bipolar 2, borderline personality disorder, adhd, anxiety and depression so I def have issues without substances too 
itās like itās harder to handle without substances, but also only possible to heal those core issues sober. I havenāt kept up with it but a DBT workbook may be helpful I started one last year I have the green one from Amazon. Just a suggestion in case it could help you too my counselor who specializes in trauma had recommended it to me
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