Day 1,268 clean and sober. Back to work for me today, I’ve loved having the time off. I never realize how stressful my job is until I’m away from work for an extended period of time. I need to take an honest look at how it feels this week being back and notice the changes in my peace etc. and possibly adjust accordingly idk. Have an amazing day everyone, love you guys and am proud of you all 
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Day 81.
Morning check in. Saturday morning up early. I have been having a hard time sleeping for the past few days. A lot on my mind. Praying for peace and healing.
Grateful to be sober today. Going to have a relaxed day with my children. Go to a meeting and share where I am at. Have a wonderful day all!
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Thank you…
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Im so glad I moved my sad ass to the shop and make a proper bday party for my twins. There is only 4 of us partying but we have donuts (they don’t like cakes), balloons, confetti and music 
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Brings a smile to my face, your adorable little ones. Happy Birthday to the twins!
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Am checking in on day 143.
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Day 78
I am going to a live music show tonight and gonna dance dance dance!
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Day 161. Watching grand tour on TV! Done my jobs : walked the dog, made soup for dinner, done the ironing so now it’s grand tour and some snacks
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Day 46. At the school waiting for my students to get here. Still no results posted for my blood draw yesterday. Nurse said it takes about 2 hours for the blood to he tested and it should be posted by midnight. It is now 26 hours later and still nothing. I know because im checking every few minutes. Before the test I wasnt worried about it and was ok with the results being the results and then moving forward. Now Im a little on the anxious side to see whats going on. My mind tells me that its all good ill get the results when i get them, and then the other voicevsaying that the results are so bad the doctor wants to tell me in person at my appointment on Tuesday. Ahhhhhh. My mind can be a terrible place.
Have an awesome day my friends!
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Almost to 21 days. Only takes 21 days to form a habit woo woo 
it’s getting easier and more difficult at the same time. 
Sober and staying that way for today. Have a superb sober Saturday everyone!!!
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Thanks Stella. Love you 2 girl hope all is well 
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Day 18. Home to tupper with my girls for there dance recital. Going to stay for a couple days. I feel good and relaxed just trying to say my gratitudes and keep working towards a better me. Much love
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Checking in back to day 1
After been clean for 15 days I replapsed last night I can’t believe I have in so easy after spending the last 2 weeks Trying to get my life together and getting on top of my bills I was back on track but fucked it all up last night after having a bad day took 4grams of coc and drank a litre of vodca IAM so depressed today and don’t know even how or why I gave in so easy after just getting things back on the right track
How is everybody else doing today
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I can relate, well I was acting sober said I had 7 months while I was snorting my Wellbutrin medication. I was in college and acting like everything was going good, just waiting for my refund check and loans to come in. It’s really the only reason I even wanted to go to college. Once I got my checks I relapsed on crack and cocaine. I spent a little over 4 thousand in a week or two. No money went towards my rent or girls Christmas presents. I felt like and still feel a little like a failure and super depressed, all I can say it keep pushing and never give up yet to learn your triggers and stay away from people and places. I don’t have the best advice as I struggle hard myself. I know this last relapse I really realized I need to change, I need to want this so bad and want sobriety more than anything else. I wish you the best and keep sticking around and reaching out. Have a good day
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Thanks Mike I just need to keep trying and change a few things thanks for the advice
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@catmancam I am sorry for the disappointing appointment. I do hope the other therapies begin soon for you so you don’t have to wait to 2025 to get some relief. 
Hoping the walks and exercises help with your back. Love the challenge you have made with your friend. I’m in it with you – no sugar or caffeine or carbonated drinks for me. We got this Cam 
@just_laura I do hope you feel better soon – hope you are able to get time to rest and let your body heal. I am so sorry to hear about your ex – damn I can’t imagine the added stress. I do hope it all works out. 
@mischa84 Happy birthday to your twins. 
Wow – so much to celebrate in December. Smart to combine the birthday celebrations for the three boys. You are a wonderful mom Mischa and I know your boys feel all the love you have. I am sorry you are feeling sad my friend – Wishing you energy and sanity in getting through all the celebrations / festivities. What a lovely party – love the smiles 
@happyfeet jetlag is a bitch. I do know I crave my addiction when I am feeling drained or weak physically. Glad you found some comfort in chocolate and ice cream 
You are crushing it Anne – keep pushing those urges to the curb. You are stronger than this addiction
@karenkw so grateful to read this Karen – should be super proud of yourself and how you handled the struggles. I know they can be compounded when you are dealing with depression and being tired – grateful that you found the strength to not give in to the urges.
@Frank68 ugh – it does suck waiting for test results. Could the weekend delay the results? I know its hard but try to focus on something else, keep enjoying the day the best you can. Happy Saturday Frank.
@mossy91 I am sorry you feel so crappy today but grateful that you are not letting this slip continue into a full on binge. You are getting back on the sober track and that is something. Maybe look into what caused you to want to drink last night and see if you can avoid it in the future. You are doing all the right things to get you on the sober track. Hang tight my friend – it does get easier. Welcome to your day 1 – we got your back here
Checking in on Saturday morning
Grateful to have been able to get up and have enough energy to spend time with mom and then sis today. Tired still so will be resting / napping. Hope everyone has a wonderful addiction free day /evening - sending you all so much love
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Thanks jazzy IAM annoyed with myself I gave in so easy but going to try change a few things going forward hopefully I can get there in the end
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Afternoon check in. I have crazy fun plans today and tomorrow and am having a hard time getting started. I need to get to the grocery store and vacuum the house before tonight but my sloth is setting in. Anxiety and a bit of “what’s the point” are hitting me. I have an un-listened to voicemail from my Mom that is stuck in my brain too. I know I should just listen but what if its bad or what if she fell or what if she is taking me up on my offer to drive her to Chicago? I will never know until I listen.
Day 654 no alcohol and my brain has been trying to trick me into a THC soda with dinner tonight. They are delicious, weed isn’t my problem but addiction IS my problem. Today it feels like my brain is my problem.
I’m getting moving. Starting laundry, brush teeth, hit the grocery store. The rest will sort itself? Thanks for letting me smear my anxious brain on this page. Some days my brain is a tricky place to live. Ready, set, gooooooo!
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