Gosh I miss swimming 
As a kid I hated it but somewhere in my teenage years I learned it by myself while on holiday (Mallorca).
Give me some swimming fins and Iām feeling like Iām home.
Unfortunately, after catching a pretty bad infection from a swimming pool I never went there again 
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Glad ur here and posting Charlie. Im sorry to hear that ur not feeling as strong lately. Sending u strength 
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Hi all, checking in having made 50 days.
I am happy about that but am so gloomy!! Very emotional too. Hang on, may be time to head over to the hormonal thread 
Some days just start well and then nosedive for no obvious reason. I think I am doing less exercise due to the terrible weather and early nights. Slacking off the gym. Mind you, my leg isnāt working well today and probably would give out on the cross trainer so maybe bed is the best place.
Wow, what a brain dump! I am tempted to delete but also feeling too lazy to work out which bits to remove.
Have a good day/evening all. Thank you for being here
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Great to see you checking in Charlie and on 1084 days is fantastic. I am sorry about the blah feelings. Can you change up bits to your recovery like maybe different meetings or join a recovery group or possibly a group that is specific to your hobby? Just as our muscles get used to a specific workout after a while i think maybe our minds do to. Possibly worth a try 
Grateful that you are still attending your meetings and reading on TS to keep your recovery protected. We are right here for you if you should need support. Enjoy your sober weekend 
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damn hormones!!! i totally know and in solidarity hate when you just go in a emotional tanker for no apparent reason.
Just remember to be kind to your body and self. I too would get off my workout path when the weather changed for the colder months. Its like my body just wanted to chill and snuggle 
grateful you let it all out and didnāt alter your thoughtsā¦ hope it felt good! Sleep well my friend ā you slayed another day in recovery and for this you should be proud 
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Sober day 5. Horrible headaches everyday. Need to survive the next week or so before they will ease up. Iām glad itās the weekend.
OFDAAT
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Just checking in yaāll hope you survive & maybe get to even thrive today.
Went and volunteered today first day at a local charity that sells 2nd hand stuff for food bank donations. Loved it. I think about how important service is in life in general, not just in these circles but wherever you can give of yourself. Wanted to vomunteer at a womans shelter but i checked myself as i dont think im ready for that.
Sending everyone love xo
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Very long day here. Going to crash early tonight.
Just got some soft jazz on in the background and going to do some reading and healthy snacks til I crash.
Take care of yourself
See you tomorrow
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Day 46:
Up at 5:30 and my work phone was already crazy. Hectic morning at work that continued the entire day. Last job finished at 7:00 tonight and I am done. Thankfully I have the house to myself tonight. Got day 3 of the November workout challenge done, not hard yet, but it feels good to be committed to something besides work. No thoughts or fantasies of drinking, just fantasizing of my bed and sleep.
State volleyball finals for my daughter start tomorrow at 10:00. Excited to see her play, but a little apprehension as this could be the last time I see her play volleyball, competitively. This old man will definitely get her out for some sand volleyball this summer, always fun playing with her.
Time to decompress from the day and get some sleep, god willing! Praying for an insomnia free night!
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Checking In
Day 628
Today was a pretty good day, but i definitly over caffiinated myselfā¦ resulting in a massive migraine. I really need to back off the caffeine a bit I think. Got my nails done and they look nice! It felt soo good to get them professionally done for a change. They even massaged my hands and forearms with a hot stone and lotion. It was very cool! Spent the afternoon playing with my son which was nice. Had a relaxing hot shower. Now just getting ready for work tmrw. Not much else to report this evening. Grateful for my recovery Have a good night everyone!
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Hi @Charlie_C , itās great having you here.
Congratulations on 1084 sober days! Iām sorry to hear youāre not feeling strong lately. Your post though sounds like youāre still strong in your sobriety. Can you find out whatās missing in your life at the moment? Like @JazzyS said maybe it is time to start something knew?
A new hobby? Yoga? Meditation? Cooking class?
Iāve been getting this kind of blah time again and again but started to realise that in my case it has a lot to do with exhaustion. When I lose the track I try to refocus on self-care, try to sleep, eat well and go for long walks.
This is what helps me.
Hope you feel better soon Charlie. Youāre strong!
Have nice and fulfilling sober weekend
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Thank you so much for sharing @Charlie_C you remind me that just because we are sober doesnt mean everyday is going to be that pink cloud. I wish you something better than blah in the near future
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Iāve been asked to lead two meetings over the next week! Iām not feeling particularly strong - more like in survival mode than thriving. Not sure what these two meeting topics will be. But I hear you should always say yes to serviceā¦
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Day 181. Good morning everybody. Ive been awake since 5am and cannot get back to sleep. I know if I donāt get another hour I will pay for it later! Iām thinking about getting up and starting my day though
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@JennyH thank you 
š©µ and congrats on 50 days 
totally with you on the slacking due to dark and rainy evenings, I havent been doing my walk for a couple weeks now, need to get back out there!
@Tragicfarinelli thank you š©µ enjoy your trip
@GC1111 congrats on 2 weeks
@2JTravNZ congrats on the pass 
@Deelzebub love the sculpture 
@Brian1965uk oh nooo, feel better soon š©µ
@Charlie_C good to see you checking-in sending strength š©µ
1180 days no alcohol.
645 days no cocaine.
160 days no vape.
Checking in for yesterday, fell asleep with 20 posts left to catch-up on, so close!..
Yesterday was frustrating. I woke up and all of my symptoms were back, so I waited for my GP surgery to open and called to schedule a call-back. A nurse called and asked me to drop a sample in, which is fine but because I am out-of-area, itās a 30min drive each way. If I didnāt have so many referrals pending Iād be for sure registering with the surgery where I live, but the last thing I need is for any of my referrals to get messed up. Anyway, the results will be back on Monday hopefully, so I wait to see what shows up. In the meantime I will take my last anti-biotic this morning, then start my prophylaxis ones again this evening.
Then I emailed the admin team at my GP surgery, asking quite simply, to know when my referral for an ADHD assessment was made. It was a few years ago now but I havenāt heard anything from anyone about it, and Iāve recently found out I can opt to go to a private clinic, that only has an 8 month wait, as opposed to 4 years, but I am trying to find out when my original referral was made to see if itās worth persuing that, but they just kept coming back to me with irrelevant information that I hadnāt asked for, that doesnāt even relate to my ADHD referral. 
Gah!
Anyway thatās my update for yesterday. It was not worth drinking, using, or binge-eating over, and instead, I meditated, then watched a movie for the first time in over a year, without eating.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
š©µ
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261
Pretty good day. Work was fine. I went to a friends after to watch MMA. I couldnāt even tell ya if they were drinking or not. I wasnāt paying attention to that possibility. I think I saw a beer can? Itās so weird, not thinking about it. Looking back now I realize that was all I thought about, everyday.
āUgh, I feel like shit, I canāt wait until I leave the house so I can feel better. Did I buy enough for the night? Iām only going to drink 6ā¦
. Gotta go out of my way to buy more so the first store doesnāt see me coming back. Time to leave for work so youāll have time to go to the store before, then make sure youāre out by 9:55 to make it to the other one before they close (I did it like that bc if I bought a larger quantity it would be gone before I left work, and be driving home blacked out). I need to use the bathroom (so I could drink a few shooters in secret if there was no where else to hide). Is where Iām headed going to have alcohol? If so, I should still grab a few shooters. If not, bring my own and if I run out Iāll make an excuse to leave.ā Except that one time, July 4th 2020, I had absolutely no reason whatsoever to leave and come back soā¦I drank mouthwash 
You know itās like 40 proof? And youāll never feel sicker! Itās the only time in my life Iāve ever woken up puking.
Look at that 
That is fucking insanity! Praise God He had to have something to do with it. I canāt explain it otherwise. However it happened, I am beyond grateful this compulsion has been removed. I feel free.
Dang, itās late 
I gotta work in the morning. I am really looking forward to that extra hour tomorrow. I hope you all have an amazing sober day. Congratulations to everyone on their impressive numbers! Iām proud of everyone of you thatās hereā:+1:To those of you that are struggling - stay the course. Life is easier without your DOC. It will get better 
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Day 133. Woke up at 5.30am which is much betterā¦ May go into Liverpool today . Other folks visiting my dad today. I think he may be discharged Sunday or Monday? Then I can drive back home to Cornwall? Cold and wet here. Made some buttered toast. Really appreciate the support this week. I am so amazed about modern heart surgery. So incredible
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64 days AF
I found out some hard pattern about my difficult relationships (and somehow love addiction) yesterday. There is realy still some work to be done. With mysef.
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1610
Glad to be out of bed early today. Also glad I seemed to have found a way of journaling that works for me. Itās a good start of the day, before doing anything else. Coffee, journal and SAD lamp makes for a good routine. Only thing that needs (no need really, but itād be nice) improvement is a true left handed journal instead of using a right handed one from the back to the front. havenāt found that yet.
Another wet windy day ahead. Itās supposed to be dry until noon or so, so I better make the best of the morning. Get out grocery shopping. Tonight I have a party to attend, my cousinās turning 50 and celebrating big time. Might be fun. Havenāt been to a party like that for a few years.
I donāt see any problems ahead to retain my sobriety. When itās no fun Iāll just leave. In the past I drank at parties to make being there bearable I guess. Iāve changed through sobriety and therapy. Letās see how much tonight 
. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
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