Day 51 here. The weather is grim I am sitting here hoping my daughterās football match gets called off after the pitch inspection. It would be really nice if they could do it before I get out of bed too! I am not a fair weather supporter, but it will be miserable for the girls playing on waterlogged pitches in the current rain, and standing watching for 90 minutes in these conditions! Doing that weird shuffle as you lose feeling in your toes
I am feeling a lot better today, thank you for listening and supporting yesterday. Just one of those things I had to get through and sleep on.
My brain is whirlwind of mixed thoughts and emotions. Iāve been so up and down these past few weeks that I feel exhausted.
Iām worried about the trip to the UK. Some (almost all) of my finest blackout disasters happened there. Iām worried about relapsing. I wonāt. But Iām worried I might, if that makes sense?
To prepare, Iāve already asked my husband to talk to his family and tell them not to offer me wine (we have this thing where he deals with his family, I deal with mine, helps prevent any family dramas and misunderstandings- it works for us). My father in law is the sweetest, he already bought different cordials and sparkly water for me.
The friend I am seeing there is pregnant, so thereās no risk Iāll wanna drink with her.
It should be fine. It will be fine. But thereās still a niggle of worry Iāll fuck all this progress up and be back to that dreaded hangxiety.
Many healing vibes your way my friend. I am sorry you are struggling with your symptoms. I do hope the change in meds provides some relief. Hopefully you will get some direction and insight from your test results.
Super frustrating to not be able to get straight answers regarding your referral. 4 Years of waiting is insane. Wishing you luck with getting answers and hopefully being able to get this treatment sooner.
This is awesome Cam! Should be proud
Much love dear friendā¦hope you have a wonderful pain free day
So good read. Gived me some memories too We had a secret shelf under our bath. So when I usually got Romantic Wine time with my wife I would go to bathroom and drink on top of that because I always was not enough. Or I could just go to shop to buy more cheese or something and jump for quick shots at bar near shop or grab few beers on the go way back homeā¦ I mean there was so many rabbitholes itās just crazy and ending all that ācircusā is such a big reliev
For me the interesting question now is, why do we think that weāre living in a simulation?
Is this life so awful or strange that we arenāt able to believe that itās actually reality?
Interesting topic, but I believe that all of this here and now is very much real and we shouldnāt live like there is a backdoor called āthe real worldā.
This morning I felt like a truck hit me. Seems I did too much yesterday and the day before.
On both days I still had sore muscles and this cought me today.
The screen I dragged through the city yesterday was too much, I almost canāt move my arms today Upper legs are sore too. Gosh, it almost feels like being hungover.
I had a good healthy breakfast and the second coffee is soon going to be empty.
I wonāt do anything today, only rest and take some supplements that will help me. Maybe go for a walk tomorrow but not more.
Next workout session will be done when Iām not sore any more, period. My November challenge will be a shorter one than for the others
Okay, I need to nap (not that I got up just 3 hours ago haha).
Iām unsure why you tagged me in thisā¦ As someone with long-term depression and nihilistic tendencies, I tend to avoid existential topics as much as I can. And the news, I avoid the news and politics and pretty much anything that could cause me anxiety or make me think, āFuck it, nothing matters, everything sucks, letās drink.ā
Itās just not my thing, sorry. The idea that we might live in a simulation is interesting and I have heart and read some of the ongoing theories and discussions when I was youngerā¦ But the way I see it, weather we live in a simulation or whether itās God or whether itās nothing we are still here and we need to make the best we can with it.
For me, that starts with getting treatment for my mental conditions and staying sober. Itās spending time with the people I love. Itās building a life I donāt want to escape from. Itās seeing as much of the world as I can. Itās my new soft purple bed throw. Itās watching my dog curled up next to me. Itās listening to my husband breathe in bed next to me.
Its the little things. I donāt have the mental energy for more. Not now.
I feel like you wrote down exactly my thoughts in a readeble way (I have difficulty with expressing myself, Iām not good in writing, probably even talking , itās all in my head)
Aw thank you. From the posts I read on here from you, you do an excellent job at expressing yourself and writing things down.
Iām ok with writing, but I struggle to talk. My husband makes fun of me because every other word I use when trying to say something is āthingymabobā
I am sitting here hoping my daughterās football match gets called off after the pitch inspection. It would be really nice if they could do it before I get out of bed too! I am not a fair weather supporter, but it will be miserable for the girls playing on waterlogged pitches in the current rain, and standing watching for 90 minutes in these conditions! Doing that weird shuffle as you lose feeling in your toes 
memories too 
We had a secret shelf under our bath. So when I usually got Romantic Wine time 
with my wife I would go to bathroom and drink on top of that because I always was not enough. Or I could just go to shop to buy more cheese or something and jump for quick shots at bar near shop or grab few beers on the go way back homeā¦ I mean there was so many rabbitholes itās just crazy 
and ending all that ācircusā is such a big reliev 
Upper legs are sore too. Gosh, it almost feels like being hungover.
, itās all in my head)
glad ur chairing the mtgs