Hey all, checking in on day 1247. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 59
Iām looking forward to a stretch of days off this month.
Setting another days intention to check in with my younger self THREE times today.
Iāll let you know how it goes. Hope to get to my first meeting next week with my support friend. I feel nervous but I can do it. 
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Checking in on day 0.
I canāt sugar coat using the last three daysā¦I wanted to. A deep overwhelming sadness swept over me at being back from holiday and facing the reality of my possible redundancy (I will know this week, possibly by Wednesday). I was so uncaring towards myself that I decided drinking would be what I deserved. Nothing awful happened apart from a terrible headache for two days straight and feeling wonky and gross. Iām really struggling mentally with so much stuff, worrying and anxious. I need to get my routines back like good food and cooking from scratch, Iāve been eating absolute shite really for days. I didnāt do my swim session either. I also lost my Kindle on holiday so Iāve completely lost that part of my routine as I spend up to two or three hours a night reading as I struggle with terrible insomnia. Iām lost without that, it was actually a treasured companion 
We go againā¦ Iām still hanging in there.
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Oh no, I am so sorry it is so tough, I would have been gutted at losing my kindle. Have you tried the app on your phone? It takes some adjustment but I actually prefer it now.
Glad you are here, you were missed 
Really hoping you get some good news this week xx
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Hey, Iām so upset, Iām filling in a lost property form with the rail company as I think I may have left it charging in my train bed. But I have a bad feeling I wonāt see it again. I donāt like using the phone APP as it feels wrong to me and I try not to use my phone at bed time. But as I was almost half way through a book I may have to use the Appā¦. Iāve pledged to not use that massive company with the tick on the brown boxes that is slowly turning Earth into a cardboard box landfill. Why do they have to have been the ones to have birthed KINDLE. I hate them with a passion.
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Welcome back TF.
I Missed you.
āYour sober date changes, but thatās all that changes,ā āYou know everything you knew before, as long as you were able to fight your way back without dying, you learn a lot.ā
Matthew Perry
Stick with us kid
Btw. Just download the App. I canāt believe people still have Kindles. It took me while to relinquish my kindle. One less thing to keep track of.
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My Kindle is everything to me 
I am still an 80s kid and have an iPod as well for musicā¦ But no apple subscription as Iām too tight to pay Ā£11.99/month so I just use it for podcasts.
Iām listening to the Matthew Perry autobiography right now actually. Very very sad. I canāt understand the meaning on Instagram of his last week in posts, without feeling we should have known he needed help or that something was very wrong, it got very bizarre before he passed. Anyway. RIP big man.
The number of days Sober actually really damages my mental health a lot and I was wondering seriously if I could just leave it and not reset the clock as I was fearful of my own inability to start over mentally. But Iām back and I reset it.
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Checking in day 435! Had a good weekend overall. Went out for a long hike, and nature is always so good for me. Also had some good downtime. My ex, who appears to still be in active addiction, did some harassing of me over the weekend, and I think I did an OK job maintaining boundaries (even though theyāre uncomfortable). Still working toward untangling some of the things we have together so thereās no need for contact in the future- itās a process but getting there step by step.
My pickeball league starts tonight now that kickball is done. Looking forward to it!
Hope everyone has a majestic sober Monday 
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This must be HUGE for a lot of people. I totally understand this. I donāt have experience with it. Being one of the old farts around here I donāt think I got another recovery in me. And I donāt think Iād be as brave and courageous as you and many others who keep coming back.
Iāve seen a lot of people come back like you and then one time it just sticks. Never give up. Keep surrendering. Stick with the winners youāll be a winner too. Itās just a fucking number. Easy for me to say. But it is. Just a fucking number. Now you got a new one. Protect it at all cost. Just for today.
I loved MPs book. When my son was in sober living he had the chance to go to The Perry House a few times. Matthew had a big heart. He really did care. I like to think MPs big heart touched my son a bit during his recovery.
#fuckaddiction
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Check8ngnin on day 124.
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Checking in at day 8ā¦ Its a brand new day for meā¦ a couple days ago I applied for a job and the very next day I got a call back. I got the job! This past weekend I was just waiting for their offer via emailā¦ and this morning when I woke up and checked my email there it wasā¦the job offerā¦ I just need to accept it and fill out some paperwork and Iāll be put on the schedule so its looking like Iāll start sometime this week or even tomorrowā¦ Itās exciting because you know itās something to keep me busy and also Iāll have money to do things and go placesā¦ Iām just nervous because one of the job descriptions is the ability to life fifty pounds haha Iām a small lady only 5ā5 and I can barely lift my dogās food when I get them a new bagā¦But I think over time Iāll get used to it, another thing is the ability to operate a forklift and I have no idea how to do thatā¦but again Iām sure Iāll learn as I goā¦ Iām just hesistant because this is a big step for meā¦
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You still have that many days sober. You still have all the knowledge of recovery youāve learned during that time. When I relapsed during covid, at almost 5 months, I never forgot the things I learned here and in the rooms. I donāt think itās starting over from scratch. Even though I went back out for 3 years, when I came back it felt like I picked up right where I left off. Growing up more and more. Youāve got this
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@peterc how are you doing today?
@annae Great work on 175 days Anna. It is still early in sobriety and you are finding yourself I think that we can be just as much fun and exciting without the ācrazyā which leads to next day regrets. I am still finding out who I am without the alcohol and realizing I was relying on the wrong things to make me happy or enjoy a good evening / event. Glad you had a great holiday and its wonderful about all the support you have around you. Keep doing what you are doing ā absolutely crushing it 
@misokatsu LOL that is a cute keyboard. I can see how it can take some getting used to.
@sunny11 You are doing fantastic my friend. I know the sadness is there but realize that you had all that sober time and you are not letting the relapse define you. Instead you are kicking ass with 22 days!
@barber508 Hope all goes well with your court appointment. You are doing great with 63 days and making a new healthy lifestyle for yourself. 
@bomdhil 25 days!! Always great to see you my friend. I do hope you are finding time for yourself as work and responsibilities can pile on high. Happy Monday Thomas
@tragicfarinelli Oh friend so good to see you back. I am so sorry to hear about your past few days. I know you have had and still have so much anxiety. Do hope you get some answers from work soon. Sending you love and strength today ā great work on jumping in towards your day 1 and resetting your routines. You were missed The sobriety journey is yours alone so do what works with you as far as resetting the clock (as long as you are true to yourself and know the meaning behind your number). Our mental health is just as important to protect on this journey (especially at the beginning).
@JustAlys Way to go with 8 days and a huge congrats on your new job! Love new adventures!
Checking in on Monday morning
Good morning my sober peeps. I feel like i am drugged when i wake up for past few days and i think it is the melatonin. I was told to stay with it for a few months as part of the regime for my severe itching (not sure how it helps but hey iām willing to give it a shot) but now i am not sure if i can deal with this zombie feeling aftermath. Will give it a week to see if i just need to adjust.
Not much on the agenda today - will have my dentist appointment tomorrow to check on my TMJ but since i havenāt gone in a long time they will need to do a full cleaning / check up. Not thrilled about it LOL.
Hoping everyone has a wonderful addiction free Monday - sending you all so much love
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It would have ended like one for sure! 
Day 73 AF
Checking in.
Lessons I learned:
-
Time wonāt stand still.
Sun goes up again.
And down.
Doing the routines.
Doing things.
Resting.
Coffee.
And so on. -
Bitches stay bitches!
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Thanks for the kind wordsā¦bail didnāt get revoked out on a 802 till at least Dec 17
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Checking in
Day 638
Its almost 11am and i got alot done cleaning wise. Threw on some tunes and did up the vacuuming, sweeping and mopping, bathroom, and dishes. Now just waiting to go grocery shopping. Then home to exercise. Feeling pretty good today 
Hope i can keep this energy up! Have a great Monday everyone! 
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Check with your local library to see what app they use for ebooks and audiobooks. Mine uses Libby and if I paid for it in the beginning, which I doubt, it was worth it. Then it is up to you to pick a device to read them on.
All is not lost. š©·
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At two in the morning a huge industrial truck with hoses pulled up outside of my apartment building last night and made very loud noises for about two hours. It was like someone running a riding mower next to our window.
Old drunk Emilie would have immediately been angry and then scared. I would have tried to pack up the cats to sleep in the car most likely to āprotectā them. Thus causing more chaos and a really stressful night.
Day 635 sober Emilie assessed the situation, was grateful my apartment wasnāt affected, put in an ear bud and listened to a book on mindfulness.
Old Emilie also would have used that scenario as an excuse to have a shitty day today and I would have re-told the story as an anecdote until my co-workers were thoroughly entertained.
Onward new Emilie! Old Emilie sucked.
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Checking In Day 24)
Oooh my giddy Aunt! Again, Iām not sure if Iām wearing rose tinted glasses but this time actually fucking feels like recovery and not just sobriety! The consistency it takes is so tiring but in a great way!
The last few days have just been soul replenishing. Meeting with friends, briefly looking for jobs, taking care of recovery, step work, meeting with my sponsor, getting my list done, Iām 21 pages into my bookā¦ I also know a published author who is interested in helping me with the process later down the line so I donāt think thereās any going back now! Got a step meeting in 45 minutes and Iām already exhausted!
Part of me wonders whether Iām trying to just take my mind off shit and doing the āavoiding situations where I will drinkā ā¦ And yeah I probably am but fuck it! Itās doing it in a healthy way, I think 
Iām not white knuckling and thatās definitely far better.
I am struggling to get an appetite at the moment. Iām eating 3 times a day but itās very much just fuel at the moment rather than enjoying it. Itās not giving me any distress but I definitely think I need some more fruit and veg and less sweets.
Ugh! Force yourself, Josh!!
My brain is mush.
Hugs not drugs.
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Back to day 1. I saw no alternative. Dude cut me off and could have caused an accident so I had to use my horn. Oh, and on day 27 alcohol free haha.
Woot colonoscopy tomorrow so im on a liquid diet today and need to start that prep stuff in about 5 hours. Its been 4 or so years since the last one but I dont remember it being that bad. As an alcoholic I use to pay a lot of money to drink stuff that tasted much worse lol.
Have an awesome sober Monday my friends.
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