Totally understand this. Try to relax and know that at least he is trying and you can get things in your order when you are healthy 
I have not had COVID.
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This is my second time 
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Im impressed by your perseverance
Sobriety is amazing. Just so worth it
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Day 29)
Good evening 
Today I just feel at complete peace. I donāt know if itās going to last until tomorrow so Iām not going write āWar and Peaceā like I usually doā¦ Iām just going to enjoy it. Hope everyone is having a good day
Hugs not drugs
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6 years 11 months 4 days sober. Things are going well for me, although Iām mildly frustrated with a consulting job. I think I can survive that. On to another 24 hours, all!
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Day 308.
Todayās been an emotional roller coaster full of tears, anxiety and family drama. Being sleep deprived didnāt exactly help either.
I actually felt triggered to drink for the first time in months. Likeā¦ I was staring at the wine and thinking how easy it would be to make all these feelings stop. At one point, someone poured wine and one little drop fell on the table. I sat staring at that little drop for over a minute debating whether to pick it up with my finger and lick it. Yes, it sounds pathetic because it is.
I didnāt have the drop.
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I agree man.
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I am glad you resisted. Staring in the eye of the tiger. itās difficult to sit with all these negative feelings but drinking would have only replaced them with guilt, regret and self-disgust. Instead you now have another valuable experience that you can do it without it.
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Absolutely! It was really hard, but thereās nothing drinking canāt make worse. I feel stronger in my sobriety after today.
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Late check in on day 384 AF.
Wasnāt feeling 100% this morning but got myself up and went to the gym before doing the Saturday shopping.
Went to watch my local football (soccer) team at their home stadium - they won 5-3 so it was an exciting match.
Came home afterward and cooked dinner for the family - now one of my boys is at work, one is gaming in his room and my wife is sleeping already.
Iām nursing a green tea while watching Law & Order in front of the living room fire.
All in all not a very exciting day, but I wanted to check in because I didnāt get the chance this morning.
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Second check in today. Iām only 3 hours from hitting the 7 day mark and I honestly almost blew it about an hour ago. 
Luckily the pharmacy was running behind. Due to plans changing at the last minute I ended up having a small window of time available, but fortunately it didnāt work out. I didnāt even want to go through with it but if the script would have been ready to pick up, I would have been there to get them and take them to my āfriendā and get some. Itās just amazing but Iām not shocked, itās literally the most relentless thing this disease, addiction. Iām over it now and so thankful for things not working out that way. Now I just keep thinking about how gross I would feel if I did fuck up at this point. I donāt want to feel that way, I want to feel how I feel sober and clean. Getting it out on here right now is also really helping. Next Iām going to hop over to my prayer app and then get into some cheesy, wholesome Hallmark Christmas movies. 
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Evening check in with 65 days. Real struggle today, been a very difficult day. I wonāt go into why but trying to process it all now. I managed to resist the cravings but life is piling it on atm. Not feeling very strong so staying close.
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Hey loveā¦I am so sorry for your day. Just feel what you are feeling and keep yourself away from access to alcohol. You can get past this and deep down you know that drinking will not solve anything.
Talk to us ā¦we are here for you.
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Checking in
Day 643
Work is going well. Im currently working by myself while my client is on a home visitā¦ so its quite boring here. Had to do a WHMIS test which was actually much harder than I expected it to be. But got it done. Feeling a little ābrokenā today and trying not to compare myself with others. Theres a group of moms that meet up who all share something in common and i am welcome to join in on these events, bcuz i too share this same thing in common. But boy do i ever feel alone and different from them all. I look a little ārougherā compared to them and i feel like me being an addict, really puts me apart from them in a sense. Thing is, is that this is probably all in my head lol they dont know my past issue with drugs and so they would probably never guess that I have gone thru what i have. I want to participate but dont feel comfortable I guess. Idk, I find myself isolating alot when it comes to social events. Not that that is generally a bad thing but its nice to make healthy connections. One day at a time 
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Dana you are a beautiful vibrant young woman. You have been through hell and back and you are standing. Do not let addiction define you. As you suspect, your fears are in your head as they donāt know your past. They are drawn to your charisma and loving aura.
I know itās scary to jump into new settings and it can be uncomfortable at the beginning socializing with new people. You wonāt know if you click until you give it a try.
It is important to make healthy connections but do it at your paceā¦just donāt let your past hold you back from thriving in your present
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Checking in day 64 off the booze. 15 days off of xanax. I had previosly done around 16 months off booze but relapsed and went on a 2 week binder. During my 16 months i was taking xanex daily. I wasnt abusing them and i was very set on taking a milligram a dayā¦ i felt like i needed them as I worked in a bar/restaraunt as a server and would be very anxious without them. I have since quit that job and am working with a friend who is also an alcoholic with 8 months sobriety. Some days are better than others but for the most part i believe that being completely sober is the right path for me. I want what so many of the long time sober people have, and I dont think i would ever find that through taking pills to compensate for not drinking. Thats all I have for today. Odaat.
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today has been rough but in a different way. about to post about it now
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599 days 
The silly season is approaching, and I am trying my best to be aware of the triggers for me in this season. My last boozy bender occurred for 4 months after ājust having a drink or two at the Christmas partiesā.
I was able to really enjoy last Christmas sober, and Iāve been quite strong in my sobriety this year. And funnily enough, the warm weather is out, I walked past an old place my husband and o would enjoy a pint of beer and I had my first strong craving again out of nowhere. So Iām vigilant, Iām aware this is a difficult season for me, and I will keep stacking up the sober days.
Life is profoundly better when I am sober!
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day 626 of no self harm. TW for emotional/physical abuse and disordered eating
my mom and sister had a really bad argument today. exactly how my mom and I used to argue before I lost all hope of trying to reason with her. Iāve been thinking that sheās a narcissist lately. everything is about her and sheās so manipulative and gaslights people. itās emotional abuse essentially. my sister was so upset, i get so scared when sheās upset because i donāt want her to end up like me. Iād do anything to stop that.
i realized I probably have PTSD. with my post yesterday and how often I dissociate it got me thinking. Iāve neber known a safe environment. Iām just tired of walking on eggshells. my dad occasionally got physically aggressive when I was a kid. he never beat me but he would drag me to my room by my arms and leave marks. and even though he never did anything life threatening I did fear for my life many times. he can be frightening. my mom has never been someone I can trust or talk to. Iām just so tired. I just want to rest without having to worry. i canāt even cry in my own bedroom because if my mom heard or found out she would be mad or say I have nothing to be upset about.
i donāt know. i havenāt been eating much again. to the point I woke up in the middle of the night with hunger pains so bad I wanted to scream. and even then I continued to try to google ways that I could fix them without eating. and then Thanksgiving is coming up which is a big trigger for my eating issues.
at this point Iām here for my sister. i just want to make things as good as they can be for my sister but I think Iāve mostly given up on myself
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