Honestly? @Looking4Support There is no need for you to jump in if you feel like you lack the tools to do so or if it is a risk to your sobriety. There are plenty of other folks who are willing and able to help. That being said, may I offer @Thirdmonkey Scott @Matt and @Dazercat Eric as men in this community who have been able to direct newcomers, regardless of sex/gender to the resources available on this forum. I don’t think that it is necessary to have a gender based referral system here. We tend to be first come first say hi program 
I am glad you’re taking a look at your own participation and how you can best guard your own sobriety and health and wellness. Take care.
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Hi all, checking in with 47 days. Have been reading but not posting today, not too sure why. I really appreciate everyone sharing though, and sorry to those who are having a hard time.
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Hey Jenny - so good to see you pop in – was just thinking of you. Hope your day is going well and wishing you a Happy Halloween
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Feel slightly more alive / vibrant after a 45 minute swim. A decent healthy tea, and a relax with the TV and a warm blanket and my love.
Happy 24 sober all.
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That’s lovely, thank you so much. I have just blown my candle out and settling down for the night. Lovely halloween, really enjoying how it has taken off here in the years since I was a child. I don’t think I ever went trick or treating and kids love it 
Happy Halloween to you too 
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That’s not what I meant. Some women, including myself don’t like to be referred to as ‘females.’
@RosaCanDo has expressed this better than I could. But you might want to ask youself why is managing other forum members so important to you?
We are all here seeking support with our addictions and people here (regardless of gender) offer support when they can. Personally I wouldn’t be comfortable being tagged into every new forum post because I tend to jump in when sharing my own experience could potentially be helpful to the person.
I’m here to help other addicts but I’m also here to put my own recovery first.
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You are relatively new to this community, though. I suggest you spend time focused on your own sobriety. It helps build trust in a community when you have been here and engaged and shared of your own struggles with addiction, not just trying to help others. I will be very honest that it brings red flags to the community when a newcomer is here to help others without talking at all about their own addiction issues. We are here for peer support. The understanding is that we all have a basis in recognizing and learning to manage and battle addiction. When you come here and say you are a counselor you (maybe unknowingly) create some power dynamics where you know more than others. That’s not what this platform is about. I hope you will take what I am saying and read it with an open mind. I believe this is getting at what you described discussing with your therapist. I could be wrong. But I hope you will read and take it in with an open mind.
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Nighty night 
I lived in Exeter for a bit and was working at a restaurant during Halloween - was shocked that no one celebrated Halloween in this area. I had to do a little costume parade for the customers - just brought back some good memories. The kids that came in had a blast.
Ok - enough memory lane stuff - sweet dreams my friend
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Haha brilliant! You will be pleased to know that England has finally caught on and Halloween is very popular. Thanks friend, night
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Checking in from the ranch where I have internet. I moved into my new house Friday but don’t have internet yet, and had no heat (!) until yesterday. Thank goodness for a beautiful fireplace, wood from friends, and a space heater. It’s fixed now fortunately. Now just waiting on internet and the rest of my furniture to be delivered. I’ve met two lovely neighbors and their dogs. It’s a sweet little house and I’m very relieved to finally be in it (after I get done babysitting the ranch tomorrow, that is). I’m doing well and start the TLC sober 90 course tomorrow. Just wanted to check in before I go off-line again lol.
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This is so unbelievably unnecessary and not what this forum is all about.
Anyone can talk to anyone; it’s not a place for you to adopt a leadership role and buddy people up. If you want to direct people to someone, do it based on their addictions and experience, not their gender. Or alternatively, let the conversations just happen…
If that’s alright with you that is?
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The purpose of this group is peer support. We’re equals here. Addicts amongst each other. We might have therapists and counselors to help us individually but here we are amongst ourselves. We take care of each other and ourselves. That’s the hole point. So a very professional therapist is no expert in what we are doing here. By definition and default.
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It’s not “our understanding of it” was offensive… it was just offensive.
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The best answer here is to either not respond at all and wait for someone else to do so (really, it doesn’t usually take long at all) or to send a message to the moderators if there is a really major concern, especially if someone is using actively. We are a peer support based community. And sometimes the responses take a moment based on where people are in the world. Don’t be afraid to take a step back and not get involved in everything that happens. There’s certain to be someone to be there.
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From my point of view (female, been on the forum since 2017), I think it works best if people read someone’s post and reply themselves if they want to offer support…versus someone suggest they offer support.
For myself, sometimes life is very busy or I am not emotionally available to offer support to people on the forum. Other times, I am more available and open. Either way, I much prefer to offer support myself when a post speaks to me or resonates in some way.
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@JazzyS Happy All Saints Day!!! And enjoy your favorite day of Halloween. You deserve good time dear friend
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Go to your Profile…Select the gear…scroll to the right and select Interface…scroll down to hide presence and profile.
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Oh thank you so much Thomas 
So great to see you checking in on 12 days. Much love my dear friend 
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day 608 of no self harm
having a bad time today. one of my best friends took his own life 3 years ago, it happened on the 29th but I didn’t actually find out until Halloween because we were supposed to meet up that day. I’ll never forget how I felt when I found out. i know it wasn’t my fault but I think I’ll always feel some guilt. just want to punish myself
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