Oh I am there with my children too right now, especially my oldest who is 7 and the parent guilt over not keeping my cool is SO REAL!
I try best I can to gentle parent, and no that doesnt mean just letting them ride rough shod over everything…it just means we’re not super strict and disciplinarian in our house. But she has real attitude right now and a hard time listening, so I asked her…are yoy mad at monmy rught now? And she said yes, and I let her know that is okay. Im here for that, and while that doesnt mean I can just let her get her way, not respect “no” and I will speak up when shes giving attitude it doesnt mean I love her any less or that I dont respect her feelings. We in a cycle right now for sure and my gosh its not always easy knowung how to be a parent, especially not whne we dealing with our own stuff. When Im having a crap day, i try to do as you said: apologize; and let them know mommy is feeling a bit crabby. Wishing you the best Mike, you are a thoughtful & conscientious dad & its a beautiful thing xo.
Gah just getting over the stomach flu. Funny how getting sick can put you down in the dumps and make you feel emotional.
Still struggling with handling my littlw girls emotions, though I told her about how my mom and I used to fight and get in to it and she was like “really?!?” Oh heck yes girl, I told her I was angry at my parents too and that my mom had a hard time also sometimes and that seemed to help her. I am soooooo worried about her with all she has gone through and she told me the other day she feels so different. That she is the only one in her whole school who understands death. I talked to her about being different & special, and how there is a balance. How we are all different in some ways, and tried to asusre her that she is likely not the only one in her school who understands death. There was a greif camp offered to us for her that I am going to look in to, I thibk it may help her to actually meet children who have been through stuff. We talk about things, and I think part of it is that she does not have anyone else her age to speak to about her losses. My god I love her so much and just want her to be okay.
Court today for my nephew. If anyone can believe, CPS has offered that we can have custody (my mom and I) and they will continue to offer voluntary support for 1 whole year. This is unprecedented. Im not sure if the feeling is happy, but I am proud we did not give up.
Money is tight right now and that stress cant be understated. Money just does not go as far as it used to, and i know tjis is a strain on many others as well. Just had to put a couple grand into the cars and it was a wwwwhoooomp. Sigh. I did get the job at the daycare so as soon as I can get my CPR i can get started!
Energy is a bit low today, so going to make bread (starting to do this weekly bc frankly break is too fuxking expensive right now!) And a chicken soup. Hubby is laying down becayse he has this flu now too and Im just waiting to be called by school or daycare about one of the kids.
We got this guys. I gotta believe it. We got this and not everyday is going to be sunny, but i try to keep my gratitude lenses on for all the beautiful little things that cross my day. XO to you all happy 25th hour! Xo
Edit: also while sick i always watch a little something, and I happened on the Beckham doc. Now we are a Liverpool family, so was not necessarily supported () but I strongly recommend. I am a bit young so I was not privvy to Beckham during his prime, but even as a young person I heard the vile chatter about him as a baby, etc. I appreciated this perspective that wasnt at all entirely flattering, but what he went through was not dissimilar to the National hatred Stevie Gerrard faced…and I cannot imagine the toll and trauma these young men went through. Both were stellar to watch, but I have always adored Gerrard and this gave me a different view of Beckham and I had no idea he went through all of that. From a mental health perspective; Id recommend as well even if you arent in to footie! Xo.
I’m not sure where you are in your sobriety, but you know, you don’t have to do any of those things. It’s not selfish to take some me time every once in the while to recharge. I know I have days where I don’t feel like responding to anyone, so I don’t. I get back to them when I feel mentally ready to handle whatever the situation may be. When it comes to sobriety, you have to come first above all others. It took me a while to get that as I have a daughter to care for, but how would I be able to care for her if I haven’t first cared for myself?
Sound words Laura. Yes I felt my commitment and my world around sobriety and self care became entirely rocked when I had my first child. Nothing else came above her and I was burnt out! Learning slowly to find that balance xo.
Day 156.left Liverpool at 9.30 am got to Cornwall 3.30pm.and that’s a good run. I think long term will need to move a few hours further north to make it easier to see people
Ugh… Back to 6 am wake ups. Not my thing. I couldn’t get up and fell back asleep until 10 to 7.
Thinking I need to postpone my counselling appointment tomorrow as my trip to visit my brother took the time away from the homework she gave me to complete. I want my session to have a greater meaning and if I keep tomorrow’s I feel like it’ll just be like throwing money away.
Have an appointment with my dermatologist today and hoping to get some answers.
Looking forward to this fog warning being lifted and the skies clearing for a few more days before the rains return.
I am going to call my brother today to say hi and hear his voice again because I know time isn’t on our side. He is now sleeping most of the day and I know that is his bodies reaction to the tumor and his meds that are keeping him comfortable. I need to remember to not be afraid of talking to him daily when he has the energy.
I finished part 1 of 3 of my Motivational Interviewing course for my furthering education for my Counselling Therapy practice and passed the exam at the end which made me feel like I accomplished something yesterday.
My brain is honestly at capacity right now and I am forgetting so many things, and many of them are lost in an instant. I’m doing my best to remain compassionate with myself knowing the stress I’m under but I am finding it difficult.
Happy Monday! Its the Monday after a holiday weekend (4days off) and I am functioning. Not hungover, dragging, or irritable. I love it! Normally it would take me 3 or for days just to get to a place that I would be okay ans probably would have canceled work today because of my condition.
Thanks to everyone who has been supportive.i am grateful for you all. Make it an amazing day my friends!
I did it! 20min workout with kettlebell with Caroline Gilvan on yt, I recommend workouts with her, this girl rocks!
No extra pain in the neck, super happy
Respect! 20:4 is still too hardcore for me
I must take more care about quality of food I eat in my 8h window. My breakfast is always pretty healthy and nutritional but later usually I just eat whatever I want/I have. Definitely not enough greens and veggies and way to much carbs.
Your weight and inches loss is impressive It’s not easy thing
@lainenicole96 WOOT WOOT 1 week is awesomesause. I do remember being so tired and so damn on edge with my nerves/ emotions. It does get easier. I am sure your son can sense your energy (like you said) and overall can feel the benefits of you being sober and present. Keep doing the amazing work you already are! @trustybird Happy 7 year anniversary. What a great tradition you two have Grateful that you two had a wonderful time together and talked it out. @freckles2 wow you are doing amazingly well in doing all that it takes to keep yourself on the sober track. Hang in there – you will start to feel better physically too. The precautionary steps are awesome my friend – just keeps your mind on alert that you will not be bamboozled – you are for all intents and purposes protecting your sobriety and health. Keep going strong @rockstar24777 So very happy to have you back with us Robbie. I am sorry to hear about your dark period. Grateful that you survived it and are on better medication. You are not alone my friend. Please know that you are among friends who care for you so lean in for the support @starlight14 glad you are feeling better Kelly. Changing up the appearance? OOH – I’m intrigued… I love the possibilities. It is fun to play around. I always tell myself that nothing is permanent. @1in8billion WOW you really are carrying a lot on your shoulders. Where is the pressure coming from? Is it self inflicted? As you said, relapsing does not bring anything good. It will only bring you into its spiral of darkness. I agree that getting back to meditation and mindfulness is key in helping you feel calm and centered. Stay on top of life? I do know the pressure of this and you are not alone. There is no magic formula or right way to be. Find your happiness in what you want to pursue. I know you have dreams and ambitions. Keep working towards them. Are you able to get back to uni in the next term? Do some self teaching in the mean time? We are here for you friend – you are not alone. I know therapy is out for now, do you have counselors at school that you can talk to? Much love to you dear friend.
WOW girl – this is amazing news! I am sure your emotions are all over the place right now. Sending you comfort and support as you and your family figure out the next steps @anon68572606 way to go on passing your test! Take deep breathes and maybe take some time out for just you – go for a walk or treat yourself to a coffee. I know you have a lot going on around you and sometimes we just need a break from it all. You are doing great in your sobriety – glad you know that compassion for yourself is most definitely necessary @mischa84 way to go with your bad self and getting your workouts in. Grateful that you are not in any pain
Checking in on Monday morning
Running late this morning as i decided i needed some more sleep (not mad about it). I am going to run to my doctor’s appointment and hope to catch up with all the rest afterwards.
I will not engage in any addictive behavior and that is my main focus for today.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
Their judgment probably has nothing to do with you. They likely had been hurt by someone else, or more likely, many somebody elses, and you happen to be a target of their resentment. Let it be their resentment, not yours.
) but I strongly recommend. I am a bit young so I was not privvy to Beckham during his prime, but even as a young person I heard the vile chatter about him as a baby, etc. I appreciated this perspective that wasnt at all entirely flattering, but what he went through was not dissimilar to the National hatred Stevie Gerrard faced…and I cannot imagine the toll and trauma these young men went through. Both were stellar to watch, but I have always adored Gerrard and this gave me a different view of Beckham and I had no idea he went through all of that. From a mental health perspective; Id recommend as well even if you arent in to footie! Xo.
It’s not easy thing
Grateful that you two had a wonderful time together and talked it out. 
