Big hugs to you Dana. I am so sorry that last night and today were so stressful.
I do love your husband and am grateful that you have him in your corner. I do hope that you are able to find time for self care throughout the day as you deserve it and need it for your mental and emotional stability. So true that we can’t just jam in our self care in our daily routines at the end of the night. It is hard to do and what i am finding is that if i write down all the things that come to mind for my mental health then i sorta check them off as the day goes. It gets easier to follow if i have them written down. Sending you love and strength as you navigate trying to find time for yourself and practice self care for your needs.
Appreciate the hug love – we’ve been missing you too
After yesterday, today was pretty chill. Nothing much this afternoon before work, and nothing much at all at work. Home by 8:00 It was nice to have some extra time before bed with my daughter bc her dad is picking her up at noon tomorrow and she’ll stay thru the 1st. Crazy there’s only 3 more workdays before the layoff. I’m looking forward to it but need to make sure I keep busy at home instead of hibernating. The only goal I’m setting is my daughters room, which could take all month She’s finally ready to purge. It’s needed to happen for a long time. We’ll both feel better after it’s done. Hope you all have a wonderful Friday Goodnight
I went for my walk after the meeting today, so that is good. Now I’ve just been lounging for the past few hours feeling like I should really be doing something more active. Maybe I am hibernating since it’s winter!
Feeling a lot better today. Not 100% but improving. Rainy humid day today so wasn’t able to get outside.
Back to work on Sunday. Hopefully over this covid by then. Even though im looking foward to getting back to work if im not 100% I’ll take the days off and maybe head in for nightshift.
I woke up with quite a low mood, but reading here, how people struggle and work through whatever life throws at them, helped me feel compassion towards people and myself. Improved my mood
I am meeting friends for brunch later. Feeling a bit apprehensive about all the food triggers. There will definitely be a wide selection
My plan is to eat a good breakfast before and order lots of tea.
I don’t feel comfortable navigating the buffet sanely yet. So I decided to avoid it completely, and not to put myself into a situation where I would be overwhelmed, confused, and susceptible to the whispers of the addiction.
Last few days feeling getting defeated. It looks like my hand nerve is not getting better, but instead I am doing this to not get worse. I am really p**** off that it hurts all the time. Lately I can’t almost move them and really have bad time doing casual tasks with my right hand. Today I have plans to go to Metal concert I was invited by an old friend and bass player. He actually have plans to start a hardcore band in his basement and has booked me as a drummer (good news is I can still hold drum stick in my hand), but he struggles a lot with preparation of the studio so I doubt that this project will see the light any day soon.
Hi zzz, I’m a big metal fan too, slipknot and Metallica are my faves. Double edge sword, love the music but alcohol and metal go and in hand, so I’ve been staying away from the bars where they play the music.
Starting day 4, 1 relapse in 15 days. I’m doing good, gym and swimming today, reading watching marvel films with zero alcohol alternatives.
Big News:
Happy Birthday @Its_me_Stella !!
Wishing you the most wonderful birthday and year ahead! You’ll just keep growing in your awesome way! So proud of you and also find so much inspiration in your words!
Just made it through day 3 and im so proud of myself. Its been much easier so far than my attempts in the past. Im feeling optimistic. Even with stressful situations popping up several times during the last couple days, i still never felt a huge urge to drink. Its truly not worth it, it would just make me feel worse. Im hoping i can stay in this mindset. Disappointed with myself for not going to my martial arts class like i was planning, but i needed rest, i still did lots of healthy things for myself today, and tomorrow is another day. Trying not to beat myself up over it. I have so many other positive things about today i can choose to focus on. Went to the store and got tart cherry juice (tried for the first time tonight, its SO GOOD), grapefruit juice, pineapple ginger juice… stocking up on n/a beverages so i can mix myself little juice concoctions. It was a small little enjoyable part of my day. Felt like a normal functioning human being for once, just going to the store. Also drew with my copic markers, last time i did that was a few months ago. Had moments of frustration but i didnt give up and i enjoyed doing it overall. Also spent time with my cat, watched some tv, finished wrapping presents. Not a bad day.
I’m officially out with the flu. Called in sick for work this coming weekend. I need some groceries, will go to the nearest shop for that and otherwise I’ll take my rest, hydrate, read and spend bonus time with Luna. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. I might be back to bed soon but for now it’s love from my couch.
In the morning one of my favourite Christmas mugs fell out of the cupboard and broke.
We spent the afternoon shopping in Leeds and it was sooo busy and I got frustrated with so many people aound me
And l noticed so many people vaping everywhere. Vaping was never my thing, but its in the shops, in the lift, in the toilets… its just like smoking not allowed in all those places, but I constantly got blown a cloud of strawberry, apple, toffee popcorn, bubblegum or even weed scented chemicals in my face. And honestly… weed scented? WTF???
Then the restaurant we wanted to eat in didn’t have a table free, so we gad to go somewhere else. It took ages for the mediocre nearly cold food to arrive with 30 minutes wait between starters and mains. Then we had to scoff it all down in a hurry to leave in time for the show
We arrived 5 minutes late for the show (Elf - the musical) and with seats booked in the middle of a row everyone had to get up for us and there was this awkward shuffling along the row, apologising for rubbing your bum in peoples faces etc etc
The show was alright, but nothing more really. The jokes were flat and the songs not really catchy. Overall just meh and not worth the ticket price
Leaving the arena, stepping into the rain, my other half realised he left the (brand new) umbrella under the seat. With masses of people pushing out through the exits, he couldn’t be bothered to try and go back. So that’s lost
And then to top the night off: it took around half an hour to exit the gridlocked multi storey car park. Just to add to our one hour motorway journey home.
Luna looks Very Concerned about you and ready to take very good care of you. She’s called for the specialists also so you’ll get better in triple the time.
Day 194. Almost 530am. About to clock out from work. Headed home to get ready for a long weekend. My anxiety has been going down I’m happy to say. Ready to be sober today. Have a great day everybody.
Day 188. Working 8_5 today. Then it’s the weekend. Will have a quiet new year.
So thankful that I stopped drinking this June. Took me a whole amount of provarecation to get back on track but now I am… I guess that’s one of the things which struck me on reflection. I was sober 2.5 years before covid and then its twin me 3 years roughly to get my sobriety back as of so many false starts and bu@@ self talk of it’s ok. I can drink normally. What the hell does that really mean? What is normal in a society where we have to drink to manage our lives?
This weekend I am looking for vinyl records as my wife got me a turntable for Christmas!!! So excited
@Sunshineontheinside thanks for the post. I am short in mine and I learn a lot from those who explain things and describe situations. Congratulations going to a meeting and your 5 days.
I am 11 days clean. I am resting and taking my time. Tomorrow I come back to my work and I am a little afraid of stress
A another year is about ready to start,I am on day 73,a new year and a better one being sober,I have made some hard choices these last few weeks, but I think for me to get better,it’s less of them and more positivity,in my journey for sobriety,a new life .
It was nice to have some extra time before bed with my daughter bc her dad is picking her up at noon tomorrow and she’ll stay thru the 1st. Crazy there’s only 3 more workdays before the layoff. I’m looking forward to it but need to make sure I keep busy at home instead of hibernating. The only goal I’m setting is my daughters room, which could take all month 
She’s finally ready to purge. It’s needed to happen for a long time. We’ll both feel better after it’s done. Hope you all have a wonderful Friday 
Goodnight 
I was invited by an old friend and bass player. He actually have plans to start a hardcore band in his basement and has booked me as a drummer (good news is I can still hold drum stick in my hand), but he struggles a lot with preparation of the studio so I doubt that this project will see the light any day soon.
She’s a beauty btw.