Hi all, checking in on day 83. Still feeling sick, which in the morning keeps tricking me into thinking I drank last night, and in the afternoon/evening means big cravings to try and drink my way through it. Why did I ever think that was a way to handle illness? I don’t like this as feeling more aware of wine constantly.
Anyway, will try and work today. Just had a fun chat with my daughter. Love our little talks where I get to know her world at school. She is so much cooler than I ever was She seems to see through all the classroom politics and rolls her eyes. She is really kind too, makes me so proud of her. I really hope both her and my son navigate school without all the scars I did.
616 days here.
Struggling a little with another bout of insomnia but getting through. It’s been a huge year and I just can’t wait to finish up work for the year and be floating around in a pool (10 days not long!).
I’ve been enjoying a lot of nice walks during the beautiful weather we are having here. Trying to stay focused on my good health, and these good moments. All the kangaroos on my morning walk are just so wonderful too. Lots of mums and joeys
Thank you it means a lot and yeah I have been walking my dog more by a trail I live next too and my boyfriend took me biking the other day so that was nice. I have been getting back into reading. I would like to get back in the gym but I’m so out of shape I’m shy to go to a gym rn so maybe I’ll do some at home working out. I meditated for the first time last night when I had a panic attack from all the anxiety! It’s only week one and I have ups and downs all throughout the day! I’m so glad I found this app really! Talking with everyone so far has helped me get this far!
614 days sober. It feels pretty normal now.
Ive been in physical pain for months…probably need surgery. Sleep is difficult. But also im tired all the time. Im napping for 2-4 hours through the day as I cant stay awake. Then when i sleep at night, im struggling to get to sleep. Anyways, dear diary over!
Hope everyone is going ok x
Nighttime check in. Tonight I was writing out my planner for 2024, yes I still use a paper planner, and it got me thinking about consistency in sobriety. In drinking days I never knew how long I would be at a job. I would occasionally go off on a bender and just not show up. The shame and guilt kept me from calling out sick or asking for my job back so I would burn bridges and move on. This was more of my MO in my 20s but it is the reason I can count 16ish jobs in my 30 year working career.
Today I wrote out each payday until the end of the year. I know where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing. This is stability, it isn’t boring, its responsible. Day 650something.
Had a drinking dream last night. In the dream, I drank one beer and told myself I could handle it. One more beer per month wouldn’t hurt. I was hanging out with a bunch of randoms playing baseball. I’m not even a huge baseball fan. It was weird. Anyways, it was just a dream.
Took the fam out to watch Godzilla Minus One today. It was a dope movie.
Nothing else going on. Same ol same ol. Work, staying busy with the kiddos, going for walks.
I can’t get this cold water diving idea out of my head It was even in my dreams last night. I would really love to try but I don’t know… I don’t know how, where… Well, I have some idea where. But I don’t have my licence yet so how to get there. Next month I have an exam (driving), I hope I will pass, at least till next winter xD So probably this season I won’t try, again
Any cold water swimmers/divers here?
Amazing girl, you and I are sobriety twins on 16. We can do this! Glad you are feeling better also! Perspective is a changing film isn’t it? Minute by minute some days.
I’m new here. Day 171 for me. I’ve been really lonely. I don’t really have anyone in my life aside from my mother and brother. I found this place some how. I’ve been reading but never posted anything. I’m glad this place exists.
Day 1,272 clean and sober. Day 3 of Covid and I woke up with a pretty bad sore throat. It sucks being sick because tonight I was going to see Zakk Sabbath. Zakk Wylde’s Black Sabbath cover band, he’s one of my favorite guitarists. Life happens and it is what it is. I hope everyone has a great day today, love you guys
Going into day 25. Literally can not believe I’m actually 25 days free from my DOC. It feels so good. It hasn’t been this magical fix and now my life is perfect because I’m not using pills to cope but I’m happy. I’m truly happy and naturally, not because I’m high. Life will never be perfect and neither will I but I do know for today I’m sober and staying that way. It’s getting easier everyday and I honestly feel like myself again, my true self I haven’t been in 20 years. I’m discovering so many things about myself. Like I said nothing is perfect but being sober makes it all seem less annoying. That’s it!!! I was always so annoyed by everything and impatient, I am not that way, it was the drugs. Have a wonderful sober Wednesday everyone!!
She seems to see through all the classroom politics and rolls her eyes. She is really kind too, makes me so proud of her. I really hope both her and my son navigate school without all the scars I did.
It was even in my dreams last night. I would really love to try but I don’t know… I don’t know how, where… Well, I have some idea where. But I don’t have my licence yet so how to get there. Next month I have an exam (driving), I hope I will pass, at least till next winter xD So probably this season I won’t try, again 
Have a wonderful sober Wednesday everyone!!