Day 30
Yesterday was amazing, I am still glowing. Went for new years diner with a friend (hangover free!). I notice I have better taste and am more focussed on the food instead of on the wines like I used to. Oh, and I never cared much for desserts, well that changed…
As a surprise I got a suite at a spa hotel with my own private sauna. I normally book the most basic room, so this was such an amazing experience!
Today I feel not my best though, I’ve been feeling quite tired the last two weeks. Tomorrow I have to work, visit my parents and have diner planned with an ex collegue I didn’t see in a long time. Looking forward to that, so hopefully I won’t get sick.
Work is just sucking me dry. Didn’t get to my swim today, worked late. Plan to get to a five pm one tomorrow. It’s just relentless; no one left has experience of my work side and they got rid of my entire team…I cannot and will not take on everything as the only person left who knows what to do. I’m really trying to not blow a fuse. Did listen to an audible quit lit as I worked which was helpful and some good bits. In bed already, kittens are charging around like baby elephants with a pogo stick!
Hopefully I’ll sleep better tonight, I’m so anxious it would be nice to feel rested.
It was actually a Refuge Recovery meeting I went to. But I have looked into rational recovery as well. I like a lot of the free worksheets they provide, very similar to CBT work I have done in therapy before. I’m glad it made you look into it and maybe it’s good for others to know, especially newer members, that there are lots of options out there. It’s good to read around and try some out to find a good fit for you
Checking in Day 688
Pretty basic day today. Nothing much happened. I was nursing my sore knee this morning. I woke up and it was feeling uncomfortable, so my bright idea was to go to the gym I had a gentle workout but it made it worse. I just didnt want to break my streak of workouts. Im working hard on building a good habit and I just wanted to push thru. But my knee wasnt happy. I iced it and rested it. Its feeling better now. Did some cleaning up today and playing games with my son. That was fun! Not much else to report I guess. Hope everyone is having an addiction free day
Day 2. Just feeling really exhausted and low energy. How long does it to feel energy start coming back? Im hoping this weekend. Id love to have the energy to clean house and have eveything organized for week 2.
Survived my first day at the new job. Everyone was really nice and welcoming. It’s just going to take some adjustment. I’m exhausted. I’m not used to being around other people all day. I hope I can sleep better tonight.
OFDAAT
Edit to add: my new boss brought me flowers for my first day.
Checking in early after a nap and before I go to work for Nightshift.
Last night was busy but went to the gym this morning to box was a good session and good to be back after the holidays and being sick.
Hindsight is grand but sharing openly here is powerful and the sense of understanding breaks us out of the shame secrecy loop.
Thankyou for sharing and were all learning and growing day by day
Maybe I should try and nap a bit less during the daytime, as I woke up shortly after 2 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. Five o’clock now. Maybe I’ll try to sleep some more in a moment. Or not. Will see.
My health is getting better one day at a time (thanks for asking @CATMANCAM). It’s good I have one more sick day to go today, and two days off after, so I’ll restart work Saturday. Or at least I expect to. I am getting bored though, staying home, doing pretty much next to nothing. Would like to do some outside PE but I don’t feel up it yet. Maybe I should start doing some house chores
Crazy how in previous episodes I continued to smoke and drink despite noticing the terrible effects on the healing process that had. Never again. Feeling ill is definitely no longer a trigger for me to use.
So let’s have as good a day as we all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
A reminder to myself: my very purpose here in this invaluable existence, is to manifest personal growth, love and success to the best of my capability! Addictions are subconscious, deceptive and ruinous thoughts/acts of desperation; when numbing/escaping from reality feels easier than owning it. It’s all in our minds. Thoughts are neural pathways being used/disused in different parts of the brain, and can be wired/miswired/rewired according to frequency and learned association. If a road is used, it expands into a highway, if it’s disused, it overgrows… The same goes for muscles and physical health. Every little helps, and it all goes back to persistent mindfulness, one day at a time! Change almost exclusively comes from effort, not luck, and is much more internal than external. There’s no limit to what we’re capable of - except ourselves! What are we afraid of? All we have to lose is missing the train of our lives… And we know if we’re on track or not, otherwise we wouldn’t be here…
Of note is that it’s not just about quitting toxic addictions, but starting healthy ones to replace them. What it really even means to lead a healthy, happy, successful life in our eyes…? What should a sober day look like? If we’re not already owning it, how are we working towards getting there? Are we committed?
I hope you all have a wonderful &/or productive day sober fam and work on those new years resolutions! Notice your breathe and heartbeat, we’ve got this one day and way or another…
I realized I put day 317 two days in a row so the last 3 days were numbered wrong
Went and payed some bills and went shopping today. I prefer talking to people in person for assistance with certain things rather than doing it on the internet. I wanted to compare prices on something for my car and make an appointment. If they didn’t have the part, I’d order it and make the appointment for when it arrived but this woman wouldn’t even look in the computer for what I needed. I didn’t know the exact part so she said she couldn’t book it bc they might not have it. Uhhh…that’s what the computer in front of you is for! I asked if I could book it if I prepaid for it? She said yes but then wouldn’t even let me tell her what kind of car I have! Every response was an argument and I literally had to walk away. It was nuts. Left such a bad taste in my mouth. Some people should not be in customer service. Anyways, I very easily found the part online myself
About to finish a movie to wind down and get to bed. Happy 24 to you all
Starting day 3. Sleep is still a problem, even though yesterday I went swimming 2 hours in the gym and I walked 4miles, I couldn’t get to sleep I also woke at 5.30. I also feel like I’m coming down with a cold but I don’t know if that’s withdrawal.
Just received the message that a friend from school times passed away. He has been I’ll for a long time now, but it still hurts. I won’t cope with bingeing. I want to be compassionate about it.
Today was supposed to be a routine day. Work, go for a run, eat, chores, yoga. Taking care of my sick child. I’ll see.
I had a gentle workout but it made it worse. I just didnt want to break my streak of workouts. Im working hard on building a good habit and I just wanted to push thru. But my knee wasnt happy. I iced it and rested it. Its feeling better now. Did some cleaning up today and playing games with my son. That was fun! Not much else to report I guess. Hope everyone is having an addiction free day 
Id love to have the energy to clean house and have eveything organized for week 2.
