Checking in on day 2008.
Have a blessed and sober 24 
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Checking in day 200 Alcohol free
Itās been awhile since Iāve checked in. My goal will be to be more consistent with my check ins. Iām sick again this cold/flu is a bitch. This round itās settled in my lungs. Thinking I may need to go to the Dr. My head hurts to cough, it hurts my backā¦. Iām over it.
Was supposed to be going to New York on Sunday but delayed the trip since Iām not feeling well. Itās probably a good idea m, Iām hoping NYC will be warmer in March.
When I stop and think about my time sober 200 days, Iām amazed. This is the longest Iāve been sober. Cravings are gone for alcohol and habits are different. Working on getting my stress eating under control as well as my excessive spending.
Heading to bed as Iām exhausted from coughing. Sleep well everyone!
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Checking in, reading before bed.
Sober all of 2024 so far.
Take care of yourself, everyone.
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I was absent for much of December last year due to having relapsed and struggling to get back on my feet. It hurts particularly hard because I was going so well, with I believe 1+ months under my belt (I hadnāt counted that time), and my sane self knew I had not the least intention in the world to return. But I did. I had my guard down for just one moment during a particularly stressful period. Itās crazy how addictions weaponise relapses against you, draining willpower by telling you nothing matters anymore, as if itās all over. I relapsed after New Year again, falling for the same depressive thoughtsā¦ That it doesnāt matter and I should give up. As if with the click of a finger Iām no longer that strong, bright person I was beforeā¦
But I know theyāre just delusional thoughts. I know I yearn to be back there, feeling in control for once and ontop of life. The motivation, self-confidence, maturity, freedom and more I feel during sobriety are irreplaceable!
Tomorrow is my birthday, and I intend to make that my sober day as a meaningful kickstartā¦
Iāve learned that for me the first few days are the hardest, feeling so close to the last relapse, and down, then the next few weeks are a mix between feeling good, maybe even on cloud-nine, and occasional hard waves of difficulty that definitely test you out of the blue, and after the 1-2 month mark life is really looking up in every personal, psychological way- but the ego can quickly reverse everything by letting your guard down when you actually canāt. I havenāt been beyond 3 months, but remember only relapsing out of curiosity and fear, bizarrely, that I was missing out. Well, I shouldnāt have, because itās taken several years of suffering and maturing more to be where I am now. I can be proud given where Iāve been and grown fromā¦
Anyways, back to point A. Again. But confident in my capabilities. The amount of times Iāve fallenā¦ yet Iām still standing. And stronger and better now than at any previous point in lifeā¦ And hopefully I can consolidate everything Iāve learned into finally letting go, and moving on as I feel deep in my heart I can and am on the brink of!
I need to detach from the weight of pressure and expectations. I am me, here, now. Nobody and nowhere else. And I embrace myself at whichever stage Iām at. Down or up. Until I make it 
Thanks for reading if you did 
This place keeps me goingā¦
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Happy 2024 to you @Scorpn with the 450-451 days! Wow! Sending you all the very best wishes to you for each day and the whole year through.
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109
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Seasonal depression is getting to me. Not feeling well along with trying to fight with insurance company, fight with the social security administration about my little ones benefits, getting next to no sleep, and working 9 days in a row, and navigating my kids emotions and my own is making me feel overwhelmed.
But what I am so happy to say is, I havenāt felt the urge to use. I am sober and am doing the best I can with whatever life throws at me. Every day is not great, in fact some days are total crap. But every day that I am free from addiction is in fact great!
Hereās to 451
I hope all of my old friends are having a calm and happy new year addiction free!
And to all of the new people just starting out, you can do this! I have faith in you. Just take it one day at a time. Even a bad sober day is better than a good one in active addiction!
Yāall
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33 days in the bank
Finished up nightshift then ran a few errands, appointment for one of the kids, pretty busy day but now Im on leave for a week or so for a family beach holiday.
Im sure my previous holidays were a lot like everyone else hereās holidays in their previous lives.
Not this time round. Iāll continue checking in and stacking the days.
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This is definitely part of the road to success. Finding the weak points and working on them until you can build a suit of armor strong enough to withstand.
I found it important to understand that the human body was designed to fear. Fear of the unknown kept me from pushing through. The negative voices kept whispering in my earā¦ āYou canāt do this, the pain is too hardā. āNo one likes you anywayā, āitās worthless to fight because youāre bound to fail anywayā.
Until I did it. I pushed through the anxiety, the depression, the suicidality, the heartache, isolation caused by me alone. I silenced those voiceās by pushing through. Because I can, and I will.
The human brain is a miraculous thing but it is also powerful when left unmanaged. It has control over our movements and most of the time it can hijack our thoughts. But we make our choices, and therefore can undo the hijacked disaster weāve often innocently created.
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322
I was cold and tired after my daughter got on the bus so I went back to sleepā¦for 3 hours! I donāt remember the last time I ānappedā like that. It was great 
I did manage half the dishes while dinner was cooking. We played a few board games til it was close to bedtime. My daughter has so many fun, awesome ideas that I want to make happen during my time off, instead of saying āweāll do it tomorrowā and tomorrow never comes, like so many times before.
Iāve had this temple headache thatās only bothersome after I move around so Iām gonna lay down and finish John Wick 2 and get to bed bc I do have to go into work tomorrow. Weāre doing a deep clean so itāll be ready when we reopen. Goodnight
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43 no binge, no sugar
9 HPFs
8 dairy
No cravings yesterday. Feels like freedom! Letās see what today will bring. After all I learned itās ODAAT.
Not much planned for today. Work, a long walk, still a sick child at home, yoga.
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*Day 1933 
What a weather up here: rain, rain with rain 
Have the day off today, walking is only an option in a rainsuit and I hate those.
What shall I do today to make my day a good one? The only appointment I have is the hairdresser. Maybe that Lego project? Have to finish that Statue of liberty for ages 
Quiting my social media was a good thing to do but still missing it. Not going back though.
Have a good day all, a sober and clean one
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Day 8
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1671
My sleep hardly ever is directly connected to my mental state or to the circumstances of my daily life. I did sleep well this night, while worried about Luna and about life in general. Well. Only so much I can do. Iāll take Luna to the vet this morning. I made myself a nice warm very comfy bed last night. And Iāll work on myself a little bit each and every day. Work for which I have to be sober and clean or nothing would come of it, sober and clean which I am for 1671 consecutive days, and which is the only state I want to be in. I never want to use again. And just for today I wonāt. One day at a time. Letās do so together friends. Weāre not alone.
Have as good a day as you can all. Love from the park where I took a little walk yesterday afternoon. Feeling a bit better each day.
@Cloyboy89 Letās have a plan than friend. If you really want this, work has to be done. Lots of it. Hang with us. Check out meetings. Check out professional help. Whatever it takes friend.
@nick_1985 Nice to see you Nick, thanks for checking in, huge congrats on passing the 2000 mark!
@DanaM56 Big congrats on reaching 200 days! And get well soon lady.
@Scorpn Always great to see you and amazed at your strength and tenacity dear friend. Really hoping for some easier times on the horizon for you
@SoberWalker Save up and buy some really good rain gear C. Or wait for better weather of course. They say winter is coming! 
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Starting day 4, no cravings, sleep was a little better last night. Very early Days but I hope to start seeing a benefit from not drinking soon, especially at the gym and swimming.
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Day #32
So yesterday evening when I went to bed, I thought about the recovery. I was happy because I went for detox/ rehab for one week when I was at day #8.
I know that this rehab is too short as a period but for this time while I was there I learnt about the problems which may be caused by the alcohol. And I was greatful that I managed to stop drinking.
This morning I woke up with a smile 
I havenāt smile in the mornings while i was drinking. I used to wake up with a headache, with angry moodā¦
Now is different, now the day starts with a great mood, the coffee is also with a better taste 
So I wish you all a great day with a good coffee or tea
Enjoy your day 
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You have given yourself the best possible start to the rest of your life Zse! A solid foundation to build your new life on, your sober life, your true life. Have a great day and thanks for sharing.
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Thanks a lot for your kind words 
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