Checking in today clean and sober @ 9 Months!!!
☆☆☆
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Thanks for always sending such kind words Jazzy. Im sorry you had a rough day, and I hope today was better. We had a great visit with my dad, and inbthe end I do believe we did one helluva job this Christmas all things considered. Happy to be home now, but missing my mom and nephew both. Xo. Be well Miss Jazz xo
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Congrats!!! Big things 
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Hi everyone. Things have been hard lately. Fatigue is awful… I’m struggling on the inside, feeling overworked even though I’m not even really working. I do so many things at home taking care of my sister who just had surgery and needs help with most things. There are so many things to do I don’t have time to do things for me, like jigsaw puzzles and reading books about whales. All the things I used to do. Nowadays my fatigue is so bad I can hardly function enough to stay up all day I’m in bed or laying on the couch whenever I’m not doing stuff around the house. My liver turned out to be ok but unfortunately the chronic tiredness has not improved and I’m not getting answers. Sometimes suicidal thoughts creep into my mind and other times I feel hopeful… Right now the hopelessness is overtaking me. The frustration is building up inside. I have a lot of emotions running through me and some of them I’m not really sure where they come from.
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Checking in
Day 683
Honestly today was a hard day 
I really had to keep myself together. Started last night at bed, where i couldnt sleep (even with my prescribed sleep meds). Ended up silently crying as Im trying to fall asleep bcuz of every thought i had. Woke up fairly okay but today in general hasnt been easy. I keep telling myself to stay in the present moment and not get swept away thinking about the future. Bcuz all that does is get me feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Which is where i was at for the majority of the day. I had thoughts of using (thankfully not very strong) and of course I wouldnt even truly entertain that idea bcuz that would destroy me in more ways than one. I was overstimulated this evening with the general noise in my home and with my son not listening, so I ended up getting super stressed out. Just with everyone needing me, family wanting me to call them, and not having any down time. I try to step into another room for 20 min, only to have thr commotion come in there too. My hisband and I chatted and he told me that I really need to communicate my needs with him so that he can help me when I feel overwhelmed. My needs??? Like ive always pushed thru and have put myself aside for many years. I forgot i even HAD needs. But thats something i need to work on… communicating my needs. I did end up calling my family and it was actually a very nice chat. I got my son ready for bed and am now waiting until he falls asleep so that I can do some self care. My self care tho shouldnt be bundled up into a 15 min shower at the end of the night. Im realizing that I have to take better care of myself and sometimes i dont know how to do that. Thanks for letting me just vent and get my thoughts out there. Virtual hugs to anyone who needs one 
I miss u guys. I miss TS. I have been distant quite abit and Id like to change that. I havent had time to read lately but i really do hope everyone is okay 
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Thank u for sharing ur frustrations. I completely understand the extreme fatigue and not having any time to do anything for ourselves. This too shall pass and better days are ahead. Sometimes our bodies just need rest (and unfortunately theres not always time for that)… but someone mentioned to me that I need to schedule time for myself and make sure that i follow thru with it, and not have another task take its place. If we dont function well, we are no use to others, especially ourselves. Then we burn out. I hope that u are able to find some time in something u enjoy to do and get plenty of rest 
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@lainenicole96 doing great with your sober time Laine. I too had not heard of PAWS before last year. Hang in there friend – the symptoms to get easier. From my understanding they can last up to 2 years but are not continuous (rather can come and go at will). It helped knowing that there was a reason for all that I was going through. Hope it’s the same for you. Many threads here on the subject if you want to read more on it.
WOW – that’s great friend. I do think that open communication would be wonderful for the both of you. Sending you strength 
@lile01 Woo Hoo is right love – way to go on your 1 week milestone! Love breaking records. It is rough to be around alcohol and celebrations when newly sober. I would make sure that you have your non alcoholic drink options on hand. Have an escape route if you need it (know that this site is active all day / night so reach out if you need support). Its your sobriety so feel free to share it when you are ready – you could say that are on antibiotics for instance as an out. 21 years is an exciting age 
Looking forward to celebrating your birthday with you 
@wakikki OMG that is scary! I do hope that your daughter is ok. So grateful that you were clear headed and sober and able to go get your daughter in her time of need. So happy for your sobriety my friend. 2 years is so exciting! Can’t wait to celebrate
@mischa wow girl – so happy for your happy day today. Love that you got the Thai massage (sounds heavenly) and super proud of you for winning the addict battle ;muscle:
@newlife89 Great to see you feeling the benefits of sobriety as you hit your 1 week milestone Karl. Love that you were able to get out to a AA meeting and felt all the love and connection that such support groups offer.
@happyfeet Way to go with your 5 months of sobriety Anne! So very proud of your efforts 
Keep it going!
@ashley_luvz_starz 9 months – woot woot! That is awesome Ahsley
@jules000 I am so sorry for all that you are going through Jules. Grateful that your liver is ok. Have they checked your vitamin levels – I know that a low Vit D count can cause major fatigue especially during the dreary winter months. I can totally relate to the negative thoughts creeping in when you are dealing with fatigue. Try to find the positives in life. I find that the gratitude practice helps me with this. Here for you – hopefully you can also discuss your struggles with someone irl. Sending you love and hugs 
for all you sober warriors celebrating a milestone
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@scorpn So great to see you checking in Renee. I am so sorry for your insurance issues my friend – I do hope that your health gets better for you. I love your numbers today and loved the message
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Big hugs to you Dana. I am so sorry that last night and today were so stressful.
I do love your husband and am grateful that you have him in your corner. I do hope that you are able to find time for self care throughout the day as you deserve it and need it for your mental and emotional stability. So true that we can’t just jam in our self care in our daily routines at the end of the night. It is hard to do and what i am finding is that if i write down all the things that come to mind for my mental health then i sorta check them off as the day goes. It gets easier to follow if i have them written down. Sending you love and strength as you navigate trying to find time for yourself and practice self care for your needs.
Appreciate the hug love – we’ve been missing you too 
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316
After yesterday, today was pretty chill. Nothing much this afternoon before work, and nothing much at all at work. Home by 8:00 
It was nice to have some extra time before bed with my daughter bc her dad is picking her up at noon tomorrow and she’ll stay thru the 1st. Crazy there’s only 3 more workdays before the layoff. I’m looking forward to it but need to make sure I keep busy at home instead of hibernating. The only goal I’m setting is my daughters room, which could take all month 
She’s finally ready to purge. It’s needed to happen for a long time. We’ll both feel better after it’s done. Hope you all have a wonderful Friday 
Goodnight
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I went for my walk after the meeting today, so that is good. Now I’ve just been lounging for the past few hours feeling like I should really be doing something more active. Maybe I am hibernating since it’s winter!
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27 days in the bank
Feeling a lot better today. Not 100% but improving. Rainy humid day today so wasn’t able to get outside.
Back to work on Sunday. Hopefully over this covid by then. Even though im looking foward to getting back to work if im not 100% I’ll take the days off and maybe head in for nightshift.
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37 no binge, no sugar
3 HPFs
2 dairy
I woke up with quite a low mood, but reading here, how people struggle and work through whatever life throws at them, helped me feel compassion towards people and myself. Improved my mood 
I am meeting friends for brunch later. Feeling a bit apprehensive about all the food triggers. There will definitely be a wide selection 
My plan is to eat a good breakfast before and order lots of tea.
I don’t feel comfortable navigating the buffet sanely yet. So I decided to avoid it completely, and not to put myself into a situation where I would be overwhelmed, confused, and susceptible to the whispers of the addiction.
Wishing you all a sane day 
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104.5
Last few days feeling getting defeated. It looks like my hand nerve is not getting better, but instead I am doing this to not get worse. I am really p**** off that it hurts all the time. Lately I can’t almost move them and really have bad time doing casual tasks with my right hand. Today I have plans to go to Metal concert 
I was invited by an old friend and bass player. He actually have plans to start a hardcore band in his basement and has booked me as a drummer (good news is I can still hold drum stick in my hand), but he struggles a lot with preparation of the studio so I doubt that this project will see the light any day soon.
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2
Today is about getting to bed sober. I can do it.
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Hi zzz, I’m a big metal fan too, slipknot and Metallica are my faves. Double edge sword, love the music but alcohol and metal go and in hand, so I’ve been staying away from the bars where they play the music.
Starting day 4, 1 relapse in 15 days. I’m doing good, gym and swimming today, reading watching marvel films with zero alcohol alternatives.
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Enjoy your concert. Sorry about the frustration with your hand rehabilitation. Hope you’ll have a turn around.
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Big News:
Happy Birthday @Its_me_Stella !!
Wishing you the most wonderful birthday and year ahead! You’ll just keep growing in your awesome way! So proud of you and also find so much inspiration in your words!
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Just made it through day 3 and im so proud of myself. Its been much easier so far than my attempts in the past. Im feeling optimistic. Even with stressful situations popping up several times during the last couple days, i still never felt a huge urge to drink. Its truly not worth it, it would just make me feel worse. Im hoping i can stay in this mindset. Disappointed with myself for not going to my martial arts class like i was planning, but i needed rest, i still did lots of healthy things for myself today, and tomorrow is another day. Trying not to beat myself up over it. I have so many other positive things about today i can choose to focus on. Went to the store and got tart cherry juice (tried for the first time tonight, its SO GOOD), grapefruit juice, pineapple ginger juice… stocking up on n/a beverages so i can mix myself little juice concoctions. It was a small little enjoyable part of my day. Felt like a normal functioning human being for once, just going to the store. Also drew with my copic markers, last time i did that was a few months ago. Had moments of frustration but i didnt give up and i enjoyed doing it overall. Also spent time with my cat, watched some tv, finished wrapping presents. Not a bad day.
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I’m officially out with the flu. Called in sick for work this coming weekend. I need some groceries, will go to the nearest shop for that and otherwise I’ll take my rest, hydrate, read and spend bonus time with Luna. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. I might be back to bed soon but for now it’s love from my couch.
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