Checking in on day 26
Feeling veeeeeeery lazy these days. Every morning I think: today I have to do this and this and that, to eventually do absolutely nothing.
But today I did organize the pantry and gave doggo a bath, so that’s at least something…
It’s 5pm and I’m gonna put on a movie, why not 
Tomorrow there’s another day for chores.
Have a good one, from rainy Holland 
@Mno beterschap!
Day 188 second check in. We went to the record shop and bought some vinyl albums which felt great. We still have so much wine in from Christmas… I think there would have been none if I was still drinking sadly, I would have quietly consumed alot of them as well as encouraged anyone around me to have a bit more…
2 weeks today and I’m struggling slightly. I won’t have a drink but for the first time since giving up, I’m tempted. Staying in a very nice pub in the cotswolds with a fine selection real ales and wine.
Just airing my thoughts so please ignore, just need to get it off my chest.
Another coke please barman!
Day 681 and it will be a good one. Off work, coffee brewing, cats purring and fun plans for the day.
@RosaCanDo I haven’t checked for snow yet here so it might be a white day off for me. Yay for snow boots at a fancy restaurant. 
Feel better soon @Mno! You’ve got people here who need you. I hope you are getting Luna snuggles as your rest heals you.
@Tragicfarinelli kittiesssssssssssssss!?! I have only seen two tiny picture of two little sweeties and I’m already in love with those babies. Bear and Blue are welcome here always. Congrats on day 2. Sending a hug over a cup of tea for that.
I’m happy to see a lot of new faces on these boards. I’ve checked this app every day (and sometimes spent many hours reading) since I decided to get sober 690ish days ago. These kind folks helped me understand two early relapses and keep me sober. If you are looking for community you have found it, now you’ve got to use it. Happy sober days all. 🩷
Just venting…feeling a bit out of sorts mentally the last couple of days…when i was alot younger i had OCD where id do rituals when i was anxious…its pretty much a thing of the past now but i know when i must be really anxious when it rears its head again…ive had a few instances where ive felt compelled to touch the tap 3 times after i use it…tap my face 3 times… why its always 3 il never know…im trying to work out what anxious over…i have my daughters birthday coming up…this year i couldnt afford a big party so im taking her, my 2 neices and 3 of her school friends (with their mothers too) to a soft play area then im doing a unicorn party at my home after for them…once again my self confidence is letting me down…i feel concious that they wont have a good time and im worried that people will be coming to my little humble home, i always get that feeling of being on the spot and i hate to be the centre of attention…but im doing it for my daughter…i dont find that stuff easy though…
Whatever about today but tomorrow would not be good if you have in. That’s my thing, if I caved and had a few beers this evening I’d be at it all day tomorrow and probably the next day until something pulled me out of it. Then it would be 2, 3 or 4 days of misery 
Just sit today out and you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache. Sounds like you’ve got this one handled 
@mrsodh missing you Sophia – hope you are doing well.
@wahtisnormal Great progress Zoe – love the juice mixes – I must started drinking pomegranate juice and absolutely love it. Love the optimistic feeling 
@holysquid My goodness that was a day and a half! The vaping and the damn scents get on my nerves too – can’t believe that people feel like it’s a sweet smell so why should I be bothered by it. So annoying. I am sorry for the rest of the day / evening as well – I do hope that you have been able to put all of that behind you and have yourself a fantastic day today.
@bomdhil how are you doing. I know that going back to work can be stressful. Do know that we are here for you. Please lean on us if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed. Rocking it with 11+ days Thomas!
@jennyh hey beautiful – how are you doing? Hope you and your family are enjoying the holiday season. Sending you love
@leoleo way to go with your 2 week milestone! Do you have to stay in the pub? Great job on ordering that coke. Stay connected here if you feeling the urges. Much support here directly and indirectly. So many great threads and posts. Sending you strength to get through the struggles 
@starlight14 deep breathes Kelly. I can understand the anxiety of not feeling like you are doing enough or that your home will be judged – let me tell you – you are a great mother. Your daughter feels the love you dote on her and everyone will have a wonderful time with the birthday celebration you have set out for her. Your home is your personal space and people are coming to celebrate with you. Those that judge (most good people do not – they are just there for the company and memories) can find the door. I know its easier said than done but try some deep breathing and relaxing techniques. I do hope that you are able to calm that anxiety down.
Checking in on Friday afternoon
Not very motivated today and feeling blah - i do hope to take a shower soon and try to get moving.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
Thank you so much dear Jasmine thats what i needed to read right now, ive got a lump in my throat actually, bless you 
you are most welcome my dear friend – sending you some calming energy
Im greatful for you Jazz, have a blessed sober day, love to you
Thanks Emilie
Thank you so much, it’s getting me down now not sticking past 30 days or 45 days or 60 days… But no one can take away that almost 14 months either… To be honest it’s been a horrendous Christmas work wise. Stress, covering four desks, in UK and two in Poland. I’ve ended each day wanting to cry.
I’m glad to have my babies now for some emotional support as I love having a steady little friend or two that just don’t ask for anything apart from love and care and routine. They are the best. Bear is chill and a bit passive, Blue is a firecracker 
…
I appreciate your words so much for their gentleness and acceptance. often we don’t want to hear the steadfast replies. I know what I need to do. But currently my head and heart are really a bit battered from many different avenues. My third Christmas estranged from my mom, and we had the bust up just before Christmas. Always hurts. Everything has hurt so ultra this year.
172
Checking in X
Thanks for checking on me Jasmine. Traveled home from CA and now I’m sick again. Made it through the holiday sober. Relaxing holiday going to the movies and eating Chinese food. I hope you had a wonderful holiday.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I love them.
That was not a pity hug but a hug of strength and care. I see you trying and holidays are brutal for stress. Give yourself all the time you can just watching those little floofs and giving them all the love and trust they need.
Silly or not, taking in my two kitties was a huge factor in my sobriety. I think it was the realization that if I can give love and care to something so helpless and tiny I could do the same for myself. Sending only good things your way, mostly as an elaborate blackmail scheme so you will keep me in kitty pictures as they grow but also because you are a kind human who deserves those good things. 
Thank you. Yeah I have some plans I wanna put in place as well for my own emotional sobriety, but currently I feel battered by a storm of crap. I haven’t even had the chance to write it here or be bothered to mention it all as I didn’t have the energy.
I totally can see now that that is exactly where I would have slipped into the void of active addiction before and disappeared for months. Not caring, wanting to black out and opt out. I’m not, I’m really trying my best to dig my heels in.
I will gladly be your kitten photographer
I’m very glad you came back to us.
Honestly, some times keeping your head above water needs to be the priority. I get that.
I know with my girls we stress over their parties and they might have their own ideas about what they want but at the end of the day when you get a bunch of kids together that are friends they always find a way to have the best time no matter where they are or what they’re doing.
And then i feel that kinda rubs off on the parents.
Try not to stress too much (easier said than done) but just enjoy this little part of life with the kids.
I hear you friend. Looking from the outside it seems to me addiction still has a grip on you, saying to you drinking would help with your life in some way. While in truth we need our sobriety to learn how to deal with life’s trials and hurts. Sobriety doesn’t take away the pain but it gives us the time and space to work on ways of processing it, of dealing with it, how to live our lives in a healthy way, how to work towards more happiness in our lives. These two lovely souls will certainly help with that as well 
Hoping for a better 2024 for you and for us all. 
Thanks Menno, I hear ya. I know, truly. I’m committed. I’m gonna do my best. They are both on my lap now and I’m drinking tea and watching a Dutch crime series actually called Golden Hour set in Amsterdam. It’s great so far.
I’ll get there. I believe I can.
Thanks for the tip, I didn’t watch it. Will start now! X
