Sending get well hugs to all those soberistas sho are poorly at the moment @RosaCanDo @Mno @erntedank @DanaM56 and anyone else 
Checking in on day 157. Feeling okay today, still have family stuff to deal with but we have been safe in our little cocoon today and it can wait until tomorrow.
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Checking in
Day 684
Today was a bit better overall but I experienced some very triggering moments. A friend of mine from back home who I keep in contact with every so often and who was doing so well in her recovery, apparently ended up slipping up and has fell back into old ways. It was triggering for me bcuz here she is posting pictures and screenshots and all kinds of things on social media that created those triggers to use. I dont know why it made me want to use my DOC for a second. Youd think it would do the opposite 
What is really so attractive about being broke and strung out and placing urself in dangerous situations? Nothing. I feel for her. Shes been thru alot. She exited the trade, like myself, for quite some time. Got clean and was doing so well in her life. Its upsetting to see her fall back. We were in support groups together and we knew each other stories. But i get it. I was a chronic relapser for years. Tried n tried n tried to get clean. Until my HP intervened almost 22.5 months ago. Im feeling grateful for my recovery tonight. Really feeling some deep gratitude 
Grateful to be safe and grateful to be clean!! 
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@RosaCanDo thank you 
🩵 it really is the best, though she was confused by every gift she hadn’t asked for, but soon started playing with it all 
@SoberWalker thank you my determination to capture it kept me motivated to catch-up here after 4 days! 
@Tragicfarinelli welcome back yay for kittens 
@Sunshineontheinside welcome congrats on 5 days 
feel better soon 🩵
@Lastry welcome back
@JazzyS thank you It went okay, but I was not expecting a massage! atleast I know what to expect next time now though. I hope your treatment went well 🩵
@Scorpn good to read from you congrats on all the 4s
@wahtisnormal welcome back sorry for your loss 
congrats on 3 days also, that is an amazing drawing! 
@Lile01 congrats on your week I hope your appointments went okay 
@Wakikki I’m glad for your sobriety and I hope your daughter is okay
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@Newlife89 congrats on your week
@happyfeet congrats on 5 months
@Ashley_luvz_starz congrats on 9 months
@zzz sorry about your hand 
I hope you enjoyed the concert 
@Its_me_Stella (belated) happy birthday 
🩵
@HolySquid I’m sorry about your mug, and all of the other meh parts of your day yesterday 
I hope today was atleast a little bit more pleasant
@Spidey welcome congrats on day 2
@LeoLeo congrats on 2 weeks and for typing your thoughts out here rather than letting them ruminate 
@Starlight14 sorry you’re feeling so anxious and it’s triggering OCD behaviours it sounds like an awesome birthday plan to me sending strength and calming vibes 🩵 
1236 days no alcohol.
701 days no cocaine.
216 days no vape.
Checking in with Friday evening’s numbers. It’s after 2am on Saturday morning here in the UK. I decided I wanted to catch-up here before I got so far behind again. Glad I did now, it always feels healthy and wholesome.
I am struggling a bit with impulsive spending, and I really need to stop. It’s always in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, so I am going to try to get back into a more structured daily routine, and hope to sleep better.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
🩵
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Well someone (me) forgot that it was New Years Eve weekend and went out to dinner. I took my friend for a 4 course prie fix at a lovely place and it was PACKED. We sat at the bar, which was fine I had my San Pellegrino, but too late I remembered that drunk people also sit at the bar.
The food was great as was my company but I kept getting distracted by this new hyper awareness around drunk people. I wanted to grab one guy and yell “look at yourself” but then I realized I was the odd one out there, not him.
I was not tempted to drink but do need to look more into my anxiety responses.
Home, sober with sweatpants and my kitties. The next time I venture out to a restaurant will be post New Years.
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Day 4
today is much harder than the last 3 days in terms of cravings. Reeeeallly hoping i can stick through it. Its incredibly annoying if nothing else. Like, why does it have to be so tempting. Its literally poison. Its so stupid, i hate it. Gotta take one minute at a time i guess. Ill try to keep my mind occupied. Maybe a shower will help.
Any suggestions are appreciated 
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Shower is a great idea! I took a lot of long hot showers and just cried it out many evenings. And I’m usually a morning shower person. I was pretty dang clean those first few weeks.
Keep reading around here too. Lots of great threads. Check out the gratitude thread. It’s a great thread to exercise those gratitude muscles. I know I got a lot to be grateful for when I’m not drinking.
Oh and I did a lot of late night cleaning too. I wish I had that energy back.
Keep checking in we’re here for ya.
Great job on day 4.
ODAAT.
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317
I was very tired and achy today. Almost thought I was coming down with something again. I’ve been so used to feeling crappy a lot of the past month I didn’t realize my time of the month is coming. Makes sense now. I also want ice cream.
Pretty boring day overall. Happy to be comfy on the couch.
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@DanaM56 So sorry that you aren’t feeling well. Glad you had a wonderful holiday - sounds like a lovely time.
@Butterflymoonwoman Oh i’m sorry to hear about your friend Dana. It is funny how our addict minds work - the temptations come out of nowhere. Grateful for your 22.5 months of sobriety and a healthier life all around. 
@catmancam thanks friend - treatment was good but left me more sore this time (they work on different points each time and this last one is still hurting). I am sorry for the insomnia and the late night spending. I too try to shop when i am awake at all hours in the night - i find myself putting things in the cart and then putting in the save for later – in the morning i realize i did not need it and then delete it. Doesn’t work all the time 
Sending you calming waves and strength to not shop.
@wahtisnormal You are doing great Zoe - i do hope the shower helped. Either a long hot one or a burst of cold water works for some. I also found that it is important to keep you mind and body busy so that – doing puzzles or drawing while listening to music / podcast/ a movie in the background. you can cook / bake or clean or organize your space. If the weather is good a nice walk in the fresh air does wonders. I find that posting and reading here helps me - the “just for fun” threads like the meme or jokes thread are a lot of fun and a great distraction. Hang tough through those cravings - they lessen as time goes on.
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Gah you all are so supportive and encouraging yet also so real with the highs and lows…there is so much strength in vulnerability and I am so thankful I am part of this thread and tribe.
Checking in Im tired today yet have had zero flu symptoms since about 230 this morning. 
I am on the mend and no longer contagious so that I can finally see my Daughter to have a Christmas do over.
I am so looking forward to bed which will come shortly. I plan to wake up early and drive two towns over and attend my first in person meeting tomorrow with people I have met this week during 2 online meetings I attended this past week. I am 5 meetings in over 4 days in a row and have a lot of numbers provided to me from each to reach out if and when I need or want.
It really is quite unbelievable and a bit shell shocking to experience so much non judgement, acceptance and encouragement. I am feeling as much awe as I am gratitude!
Day 7.
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Thank you so much. I made it through the cravings, about to get some sleep. I greatly appreciate your suggestions and encouragement, more than you know
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Thank you so much. You are seeiously so amazing for taking the time to genuinely respond to each of us. I appreciate it more than you know, you are a beaitiful human being 
thank you so much for the suggestions and the support. I did order a puzzle book last night and im super excited for it to arrive! And i made it through the cravings tonight, im saving your suggestions so i can look back at them the next time i need to. Thank you again
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38 no binge, no sugar
4 HPFs
3 dairy
Woke up with a headache. Probably hormone swings. Will definitely go away later.
My daughter is still away on her trip. My partner is working today. I want to do my weekly IT-checkup. The plants need watering.
I want to get into running again, and will go for a walk/run later in the day.
There is a poetry reading this evening we might attend to.
It feels like the most boring NewYears Weekend. But I don’t mind.
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28 days in the bank
Woke up feeling much better. Weather was great so went to the beach with the family.
Decided to take off work tomorrow and Mon though. Still not 100% and am really conscious of getting anyone else from my crew sick.
Thankful to have my health, my family, and sobriety
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Day 195. Looking forward to the new year. Working on my resolution list. Looking forward to rebuilding myself into the man I always wished that I was.
It’ll be a quiet lonely New Year’s Eve for me. Video games. Maybe a cigar and a bonfire by myself. Whatever happens I’ll be sober. Have a good day guys.
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1666
Feeling somewhat less sick as my temperature has dropped a bit. My throat, nose and sinuses are still messed up so it’s good I’m on sick leave this weekend. Glad I already said I’m not coming tomorrow or I might have been tempted to go while I am sure it’s better to stay home till 2024.
It also means I’ll be home for New Year’s Eve, or Oud en Nieuw as it 's called over here. Which is fine as it’s just a bunch of drunks throwing firecrackers at each other and causing general mayhem in the streets. Not very appealing anyway.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love from my neighbourhood.
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*Day 1928 
Still feeling a bit blah, but there is progress 
Hope you feel better soon also @Mno , the good thing is you do not have to work so you can give yourself the rest you deserve.
Today? A walk with hubby in the nature nearby our house, getting groceries and if I feel well enough I’m going to bouldering for the first time in my life 
I have visions of myself on top of a fake mountain sneezing with a dripping nose 
That must be fun!
(Picture from a walk a few days ago)
Have a good sober day all! 
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Video games and a bonfire in a peaceful place sounds wonferful to me. Hope you find comfort with yourself and can enjoy some of the solace! I am sorry to hear you will be lonely though. We’re always here if you need some people to connect with
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Starting day 5, feel great,gym then swimming this morning. I will then do some shopping,chores finished with a marvel movie marathon. My partner is sick in bed with flu, until recently I would use this as a good reason to go to the pub and get wasted but not anymore,I’m using it as an excuse to be proactive.
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