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IT’S DARKEST BEFORE THE DAWN
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Day 33
I like 33 so I am going to enjoy this day completely without alcohol
ODAAT
-Solar
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Checking in on day 36. My Dad is flying into town to stay with me and we will be visiting family this weekend, all of whom drink. I will be staying sober. And I wil feel much better on Sunday than they will! ODAAT, have a wonderful Friday my fellow warriors 
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Checking in day 33. Just curious, is there a book talk thread anywhere? Where people talk about their current fiction, non fiction, etc reads?
Hope everyone has a wonderful day. 
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Great idea. Always looking for my next great fiction read
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I swear I looked! Thank you lol
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37 days free of alcohol
31 days free of THC
I’ve been thinking about how drinking alcohol (or using other drug of choice) is an act of trauma, definitely for the alcoholic drinker but perhaps for anyone who feels the need to escape. Beyond that, it is the ultimate act of self betrayal. Disrespecting ourselves, running from ourselves. Pouring poison into our bodies, damaging almost every system and organ we have. Removing us from moments on this earth we will never get back. For some of us, bringing out a monster or a person who is not us. Hurting those around us. Awakening with shame and guilt and regret and hopelessness. We often escape because of trauma, and then the use itself is more trauma. We stay stuck in the feelings and situations we are so desperate to be free of, and eventually we forget that there IS another way to feel and to live, and moreover that we deserve it.
I’m ready for a different life, and i ask for courage each day at a time to face the life I’ve made and to build a better one. 
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Morning guys checking in 142 SAF 128 no smokes.
Had a good time at the comedy show last night. I forgot to make dinner reservations, and by the time we got into the city everything had like a 2 hour wait, which surprised me for a Thursday night, we just ended up grabbing some food in the venue. We’ll go out to dinner another night. My son got another job offer playing bass in a band on the Holland America cruise so he’ll be leaving again for a few months. He’s only been home a couple of weeks. But it’s always nice when he’s here. Got a workout partner and all. But I’d much rather him be out traveling and enjoying youth 
Have a great Friday and enjoy your weekend sober and free. Love yous 
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Cricket! Look at all you people crushing it! So many milestones I’m losing count!!!
Day 205 for me. I think…
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@scorpn Oh I am so sorry Renee. Kids are just down right assholes sometimes but the adults not doing anything about it for 8+ years is down right criminal. Do they not know by now that bullying causes so many disorders and mental issues. Parents and school administration should be so fucking ashamed for themselves. I am grateful that you are not punishing her for how she stood up for herself. There really is only so much any one can take. I do wish you luck with online schooling.
@dustysprungfield congrats on your 3 months + of sobriety. So glad to see you doing well and that is a huge accomplished feeling that you are able to book a family vacation cause you are sober. Be proud of yourself and keep stacking up the days 
@mno woot woot Mno – 1700 days is fantastic. Thank you for being such an amazing inspiration on TS. @forgive_yourself So grateful that you are here with us and find this community as supportive and loving as I do. Wishing you the best of luck with couples therapy 
@soberwalker OMG that is the best sign I have seen and the perfect time for it. Thank you Claudia. Rest def should be part of our plan 
@holysquid check you out with your 3’s! I do hope you enjoy your day of self care and active recovery work! A lovely way to start off the weekend.
@ForrestKump Oof that is some serious thinking going on and a lot of emotions to work through – can’t imagine it would be an easy move. Are you able to discuss this with them and request to stay or possibly do remote (not sure if that is an option). Wishing you luck with whatever happens.
@trixie1 Well done with no vape January! Hope you have a wonderful vacation – safe travels.
@Jasty2 So very cool about your son’s gig - oh man i’m excited for him LOL. What ports does the cruise line visit?
Checking in on Friday morning… lol, had to check that it still is morning 
Had my 3 cups of coffee today - i can feel that i went over my limit. Needed it as still not able to sleep. I am grateful to be up and alert and in a fairly happy mental space. Have a lot to do today so going to hop to it. Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day! Sending you all so much love
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Every time I read SAF… in my head I read “sober as fuck” … However, I know AF is alcohol free, what’s the S actually stand for for SAF?
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it’s both. I translate it based on how I’m feeling that day. Today I’m sober as fuck. 
Tomorrow maybe sober and free.
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ok, good to know
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Checking in on day 63. I hope everyone has an amazing day!!
and 
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Checking in day 13 all good so far haven’t really struggled as I’m more of a binge drinker than a daily one. Meeting up with some friends tomorrow so that will be more of a test but don’t think it will be too hard so feeling confident 
more of a challenge is not just eating loads as a substitute. I’ve also given up caffine so… feel like I need something!
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On day 7 for the second time. Feeling more confident and happy in sobriety. Each time I fall I am the only one who can get back up. 
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I am trying to sign her up for online school. I just have to go get a “proper” suspension paper. The one they gave us doesn’t have a return date (but says when she returns)
Fingers crossed I can get her into online school! And if she likes it, maybe her brother will want to leave the school too! He doesn’t have problems with students often, his issue is teachers. He either doesn’t understand the work, and doesn’t do it -and gets in trouble, OR he does the work too fast and has nothing to do and lays his head down -and gets in trouble, or finishes the work and continues in the book -and gets in trouble. 
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Honestly, I wish it was all words. To be fair, most of it was.
In 1st grade a kid pulled her hair and spit on her
In 2nd grade a kid pushed her down at recess
In either 3rd or 4th grade a kid slammed a locker door across her back and left a big bruise on her back and leg (AND THE DEAN SAID SHE WAS LYING!) and she almost got suspended because when she pushed the door off of her, the kid “tripped” I don’t even know how that works. She got an in school suspension for that.
In 5th grade someone threw a soccer ball at her face on her birthday
6th grade and up has been more words than anything, but not “haha you look funny” or something like that it has been more on the lines of “we’re gonna r*PE you” “we don’t like you cuz of your race, were gonna do this or that” and yesterday someone told her that another kid (who has bullied her in the past) was “going to do something to her” and she found a dropped tool (screwdriver) and held it out pointed at them and said if you hurt anyone again ill kill you!
And they said she has to be suspended for a week.
I think she was afraid. She has documented PTSD since she was 7. And these kids have always been there to bother her. I think she got in trouble because she found a screwdriver, and showed it like a weapon. It shouldn’t have been there. Of course she shouldn’t have done that, but if I were her and I was told someone was going to do something to me, and I saw something to defend myself with I would grab it too.
For clarification, she did not touch anyone or flinch at them. I asked.
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Same here. That’s where my brain goes!
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