Feeling a lot. Need a good sleep. Not giving in.
The trick is to keep wanting and being grateful for what we have. Dreams and aspirations are wonderful and creative and make spaces in front of you, but if you run rather than walk you leave too many resources behind. Drag what’s useful along slowly and let the rest fall off the cart.
You will get there one day. So will I.
Honestly, what a shit show. They can never take her inner fire, so stoke her self esteem and independence and confidence/resilience as much as you can mama. Kids are such assholes.
Oh Rene I am so sorry. I’m seething and in tears over here for your daughter and it’s got to be killing you. Gosh. I don’t know what to say. There’s no excuse for this. I wish the faculty would do something. I want to join @TrustyBird and walk with her too 
Day 32. Feeling ok. I received a 4am text from my former best friend of over 20 years, who I haven’t seen in over a year. She probably was just awake at 4:00 a.m. I have my phone on do not disturb until 7:00 a.m. except for a few people and she happens to be one of them. Her text basically asked how I felt about starting a new relationship, different than before. I’m not really sure what that means. In my opinion, the relationship was very lopsided with me doing all the heavy lifting. There are other things that make it complicated as well, but after being excluded one too many times (after expressing that I was lonely and to not exclude me) I stopped talking to her. I figured I would exclude myself instead of being hurt time and time again when she excluded me. I’m crying as I type this. I haven’t responded. I have experienced so much pain from this relationship that I don’t know if I can try again and that is probably what I will respond. But I am ok. I guess I am glad she reached out to know she does care but I think there has been too much damage.
We ride at dawn… count me in 
When and where? I’m in too. Sending hugs.
So worrying. Try to remain positive, sending good wishes. Hope all is ok.
0.96 no cbd.
199 no vapes or ciggs
268 no alcogol
69 no thc
At work
Half my day is over
Im ready to power through
Much love from cloudy Massachusetts
Groundhog did not see his shadow
Checking in on day 243 AF.
I did another book nook model this week and finished it off this evening. It’s so easy to lose sense of time when I’m working on it. I’ve also been reading Poor Things by Alistair Grey as I loved seeing the film a couple of weeks ago. A few weeks back I wasn’t able to focus on reading so I’m pleased I’ve built up that habit again.
My son has a friend visiting from Germany this weekend so that will be interesting.
Day 719
Not much has changed since yesterday. My sweet boy is still sick. Stayed home today from school again. Ive just been taking care of him and tidying up all day. Im not sure if i am getting sick also but my temp is a bit warmer than usual too. Hopefully im not sick for work this weekend.
I have actually had some thoughts of using lately. Some thoughts of missing it. Not sure exactly where these thoughts are coming from. Some days i just feel like i need an escape i guess. But i know today that there are other ways to “escape” without having all the consequences of using drugs. I guess these are more self care strategies than ways to escape. Anyway, i hope everyone is doing well 
Omg girl… this angers me sooo much! I cant believe they are punishing her for something that was done to her. What is the punishment for these other students? Are they not addressing this at all?
I think ur handling this well. Online schooling definitly sounds like a good option and Im glad she stood up for herself too. I really hope ur able to sort this out. Sending u strength and love my friend
10 days weed free. 2004 days alcohol free.
@RosaCanDo belated happy birthday 
those lillies are glorious 
feel better soon 🩵
@JazzyS thank you 
🩵 congrats on 27 months cigarette-free 
@Scorpn your poor daughter 
shame on the school! To this day, the bullying I experienced in school still affects me. It’s mental, emotional, and physical torture. Online school sounds like a great option so I hope it all works out 
it does sound like it would be better for your son too.
@Dustysprungfield congrats on 90+ days
@Mno congrats on 1700 days
@Forgive_Yourself I hope therapy helps strengthen your bond 
@HolySquid congrats on all the 3s
@Trixie1 congrats on your vape-free month
@Mindofsobermike congrats on 80 days and your new bike 
@Button83 congrats on your week
@Mischa84 I hope your cousin is okay 
🩵
@Steve92 congrats on double digits for no weed
1271 days no alcohol.
736 days no cocaine.
251 days no vape.
16 days no binge-eating.
This morning I was awake early. I did some meditations, some reading, did a load of laundry, spent time with my cats, and eventually did my morning routine.
This afternoon I went to my diabetic eye screening appointment, it didn’t take long at all, I should receive my results in 2-3 weeks. To get the images they need, they have to put eye drops in that dilate the pupils, my eyes are still blurry now! I walked there and back and I loved being outside, so I’m hoping to have the motivation and energy to go for some intentional walks this weekend.
I didn’t structure my day well enough to fit going to the gym (at a quiet time) in, I will try again tomorrow.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
🩵
A quick check in (out) on day 61 
These are soooo cool! I’ll be your fake neighbor in the book nook.
I just added Poor Things to my to be read. I didn’t know it was based on a book but I really liked the movie.
Day 82. It was a pretty good day. Some issues with my mom and my brother but that’s a whole thing. They are a huge trigger for me so I have to distance myself as much as I can, while still being there for my brother. It’s just a really long story. Everything with my husband and daughters and my fur baby are all good so that’s comforting. They are my bubble and my safe space. Literally they all deserve the best sober me and it makes me feel so good to give them that me. I hope everyone is having/had a fantastic Friyay!!! 
Oh man!!! Today is 2,222 days sober on 2/2!!!
The cosmic stars have aligned!!!
It is crazy to me to think that I have spent over 2,000 days NOT doing drugs or drinking alcohol. But then THAT is the reason that I have the fulfilling life I do today. It has not been easy, life has thrown its fair share of curveballs my way. But…for the past 2,222 days, I’ve faced those curveballs head on. And guess what? I’ve gotten through all of it.
And when i think back to the way I handled daily life back then…I realize that somehow, overtime, the way that I interact with the world, my coping mechanisms, the way I handle stress, my demeanor and my personality have all changed…substantially.
Thank you sobriety for allowing me to be the person I am capable of being.
She has anxiety and diagnosed PTSD and when she is in fight or flight she has a hard time remembering/ being able to describe details. So when initially questioned, she said “he was bullying me before!” Earlier in the school year he took her feminine products out of her pocket and was making fun of her…
But she was too flustered to tell that he was coming to her to do something again and that another student said they were going to do something to her.
She told me once she calmed down and could talk more coherently. And when I talked to the principal, she said " well that makes more sense than it being about old news…but she was still the one in the wrong. And I’m worried about her in high school because kids are mean in high school and she doesn’t cope well" As far as I know, nothing is being done to the other students.
Even the kid who threatened to SA her wasn’t disciplined, because nobody else stood up for her. The kids were all on the boys side. Because they are all friends.
However, she has never heard the term “r*pe” before. In our house we say “assaulted” because it covers the whole subject, and not just the one act. And she came home asking me what that word meant.
Plus she’s neurodivergent and doesn’t lie. Not even to get herself out of trouble…
I’m just so over this school.
Hey all,
Im so tired but want to check in.
Im overwhelmed but its not the right word.
The trial is over me right now.
Decided against the FTP at the new job. I love the job itself, but the place has major issues and the contract is horrendous. Its okays, I am a bit disappointed as I really love it…but its that field, and I knew it going in. Guess I didnt know how bad it was lol.
Just tired. Sad too and overwhelmed. A lot to do now, a lot to prepare for. Thats another nice thing though about not taking the FTP, at least i will have more flexibility around the trial (which i would have taken but it would have stressed me out). I want to focus there. There are many jobs in this life we dont get paid for.
Xo.
