Day 81. Last night was good, I was just getting ready to head out the door for the 7 meeting and autumn face timed me so I said NVM bc I wanted to talk with her, when she got on the phone I could tell something was wrong, she was very quiet and I could tell she was holding her tears back. She would keep looking over at her mother and finally I said what’s the matter babe everything is ok and she just broke down crying saying she doesn’t want me to leave and she misses me. It broke my heart, I just reassured heard I am always going to be here. Then her mom walked away and she tried whispering something in the phone. I couldn’t hear her so I just said wait for another day to tell me so she wouldn’t get in trouble. This morning I picked her up from basketball practice and she told me her mom said the same thing as always, she’s not going to let her see me on the weekends or go over to my mom’s anymore if she keeps crying after seeing me. It’s so fucked up of my ex and I know she says this shit bc just before autumn called last night she messaged my mom saying she regrets letting the girls stay with me bc now they won’t stop crying. Like are you fucking stupid? Reassure your kids and let them know it’s ok to feel sad. Ugh I can’t stand my ex sometimes. Autumn got to come with me and my step dad to bring me home. Addie didn’t want to come so that was ok. But yeah made it to Plattsburgh, gave autumn all the love I could in the world. Now going for a little ride on the new bike. Grocery’s and stuff like that. Much love
I was such a daddy’s girl my entire young life … my parents got divorced when I was 12, and then somehow I ended up being a once a week phone call for him. Never stop doing what you’re doing. Stay strong, keep being the best dad. You can’t control her actions but you can control yours. Keep it up 
Good job JonB.
38 days free of alcohol
32 days free of THC
My symptoms have been really bad and they (and the anxiety of not knowing the cause) are driving me crazy. Had a full breakdown in the middle of the night… I’m so desperate for relief and answers. I have an action plan for next week of trying to get an earlier appointment but I know it’s probably going to be a while before I feel better or know what’s going on. The health stuff combined with being unemployed feels too much at times. Catch myself in a lot of self pity - why can’t I catch a break. The reality is I have a lot to be grateful for, and these problems are perhaps caused by my drinking, and I definitely wouldn’t be able to address them or be as aware of them if I was still drinking. So this is still the right and best path forward. Today my wife and I zoomed with our friend who is going through chemo for stage 2 breast cancer. She is so strong and has a great attitude and puts my problems in perspective. It won’t be this way forever. Everything is always changing.
@TrustyBird glad that my rambling helped 
@Pickles congrats on the anniversary and thanks for your post, I needed to hear that today
Checking in day 14. Went out to meet some friends. Didn’t drink. Usually it’s all I would be thinking about. My friends didn’t really drink much either a few of them had one drink and then we went for coffee. They don’t know that I’m not drinking at all now or the extent of the reason why. In the past, If I was drinking and people only had one drink and then wanted to go for coffee, I’d be annoyed (in my mind) … What’s the point in going out if you’re not getting pissed?! But realised when I was out this time that normal people doing feel the need to be drunk all the time. They just want to go out and catch up with their friends. Not drinking this time made me realise this. And it was nice to just catch up with people rather than focusing on when I’d be getting the next drink and being annoyed at why people didn’t want to have a ‘wild night out’. Lots of people are being more conscious about their drinking these days, which is good as it’s easier to stay sober when those around you aren’t drinking much. Passed the first hurdle ODAAT:v:t2:
In bed now, feeling good.
Yes I really did unpack and organise so quickly. Everything is so nice and in its place. I don’t think I realise how hard I worked myself. What is good i guess is that I got to declutter and only came home from the temp accommodation with minimal stuff. So cam home with less then we left with. That has helped my mind and life so much.
I keep waking up and I’m look around and I’m like oh I’m home yayyy.
Hope you are doing well 
I’m going to read around and see how everyone is doing.
Thank you 
Day 720
Woke up early for work. Really didnt want to go in today but I really didnt have a good reason not to. So here i am. Work is almost over anyway. 35 min to go 
Going to pick up a pizza on the way home. Then relax with my family. Not much else happening today. Hope everyonr is doing well!
Congratulations on 2 weeks!
Huge congratulations on 3 years!
I think and hope that society is making a switch towards less booze, which makes it easier if you are transitioning.
My son is in third year of university, plays higher level hockey and works multiple jobs. Neither him note his friends spend any time drinking to any degree. It’s just not there thing.
I’m definitely happier that they weren’t like me and my crew was when we were that age.
Yes that’s great! It’s good things are changing. At uni I spent most days drunk out my mind, but so did most people, was the done thing back then so didnt really seem like I had A problem as everyone was doing it! Of course most people grew up and grew out of getting blackout drunk on the regular as they got older. Unfortunately for me I never did.
Congratulations on your 2 weeks Pam
I’m so happy to read this.
Checking in very exhausted.
Thanks so much to all of you that replied to me directly. I appreciate it very much!
Day 37, so happy to be on this journey
I’m really glad to read this.
You’re a pretty tough cookie. 
Day 8 ending. Sleepy and with a headache. Good night!!!
Day 717 realization. If I build my post-drinking life around work and sleep I am bound to encounter depression. Today I felt depressed. The difference between drinking depression and sober depression is noticeable these days. Drinking depression felt like a lot of why do I feel this way, what’s the point and who cares. Drinking depression also put me in bed for days on end.
Today my down mood was more of a whisper and I tried to listen to what it might be trying to tell me. So far I heard tiredness because I am working too much (today is day 8 in a row for me). So I am sticking hard to my day off tomorrow. Someone else can go in, it won’t be me and I won’t check my phone before my shift.
I also heard a bit of boredom there. I live my life in sleep clothes and scrubs. Tomorrow I will put on a cute outfit and some makeup to perk myself up. Now I’ll rest a bit after my short shift and treat myself to a yummy pizza after I do my workout. Sober is the way folks. Clear headed its way easier to listen.
Hey all,
Getting stuff done around the house which feels nice. We are doing a home exchange over the March break so I can be with my mom & nephew, so have a bunch of stuff to do to get ready for that. My husband grew up doing this, but it is our first one in our home! Its more of a common thing in Europe, where he is from, but Im kind of excited to see how it goes. Im sure you know Im a lover of 2nd hand and more exchange based transactions, so this could be a really wonderful thing.
Im feeling also very relieved about my decision about the job. I know it is absolutely the right choice for my family right now, and in the long run I know for me working from home (or mostly from home) is what works for our house
Anyway i started this earlier and didnt grt to hit send. So tired now and off to bed. Came to the inlaws and got to play in the icy snow & onbthe river with the kids. Nice to be out of the house
Xo.
@naomi OOH I do love the feeling new and shiny feeling. What color did you dye your hair? I do hope your dog is ok 
@pamela congrats on your 2 weeks of sobriety Pamela. Congrats on passing the first hurdle! Glad you were able to go out and enjoy some sober friend time.
@Twizzlers So happy to read that you are feeling good! I love that you are waking up and realizing that you are home- I know its been a journey for you while everything was getting done (being uprooted and the double packing / un-packing). Grateful that you are finally in your space and can finally put your feet up so to speak. I am doing well – thank you for asking. I am confident that 2024 will be a healthier year as long as I keep putting in the effort. Much love dear friend – hope you do get a good nights rest 
@trustybird I am grateful that you are treating yourself to a pizza, some self care and rest. Tomorrow sounds lovely – it is important to get dressed up with cloths and makeup and get out of the daily routine. Wishing you a wonderful weekend ahead
Checking in on Saturday night…
409 days free of alcohol and weed
824 days free of cigarettes
It was a very productive day and i am grateful to have gotten all my accounts up to date. A little peeved that the bank screwed up my deposit (luckily they put it in another one of my accounts but still not in the one where i needed the $$). A little pissed at myself for not double checking this sooner and now its Saturday so i have to wait till Monday to get this rectified.
Looking forward to a relaxing and laid back Sunday. Grateful that i will not have any pressing issues to tend to - maybe this will allow me a good nights sleep LOL.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening! Sending you all so much love
This beautiful journey of sobriety is all about learning to live my life and its amazing i am grateful. I take medication and decided to reduce the dose ( I talked about it to my doctor, I am followed) I am proud of myself.
I am happy.
I am grateful