Welcome 
We definitely get it 
Good on you for looking for something more to add to your sobriety arsenal. See ya around!
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1701
My new work week is here. I slept OK. Iām sober and clean. Ready for it. ODAAT.
I had an intense therapy session yesterday, trying to process friendships, family, life really. Well that seems like logical subjects for therapy 
. It was a good one anyway. And on we go. Thanks to my sobriety and journey of ReDiscovery Iām still making progress.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from my windowsill.
@ELY83 Awesome numbers friend! Congrats!
@JonB Thanks for dropping in and sharing your awesome milestone, big congrats!
@mreeclee Welcome back here & welcome back to your sobriety. Thereās 1,000ās of excuses our addictions will come up with to use. Theyāre never valid. Glad youāre here. Wishing you all success 
@Deelzebub Thatās crazy beautiful stuff Delia! Love it 
@CATMANCAM @JazzyS Thanks guys. Lots of love your ways.
@Butterflymoonwoman Hope you can get some quality you time soon Dana. You deserve it
@Scorpn I donāt know what to say. Big hugs your and yours way XXX
@Mischa84 Thinking of you. Hugs.
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Welcome home Hun were glad youāre here
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352
Exhausted again this morning, but a bit of caffeine got me up and ready for work. Iāve been avoiding it bc since I stopped drinking I noticed it makes me jittery. Today my body used the caffeine successfully. Slow day but there was a lot of organizing to be done to keep busy. There was a lot of outside cleaners that came in during break to help with the messes the rats caused. Apparently the problem is much better except thereās definitely some bodies in the walls/ceiling 
The stench of death is everywhere.
After my daughter left I ate and took a nap. Woke up to a series of messages in the work group chat bc my boss only scheduled 1 server for a Friday night dinner and she didnāt show up. Everyone who responded wasnāt available but luckily there was a server on the golf simulators who helped. It was 6:30 already when I saw it and the girl text āIām sooo sorry Iāll be there as soon as I can!ā while I was reading. The shitshow already begins. Glad lunch went okay 
It was a friendās birthday so I hung out at their house for a little while. Which reminds me, I brought some cookie cake home. I donāt normally have a sweet tooth but have had more cravings recently. Maybe boredom from my break? Not too worried tho. Food was never really an issue for me. Grateful Iāve been holding steady since losing all my covid drinking weight.
Anyway. I decided to rewatch American Horror Story from season 1, so just finishing up this episode and then to bed. Enjoy the journey everyone 
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Thatās so aweful 
It must feel so powerless for you. Every parent want the school of their children to be a safe place. It should be.
Is changing for another school an option?
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*Day 1963 
Had an easy day yesterday just as planned.
A bit with a grumpy ending it because I messed up the pendant I was making 
Learned a lot by the mistakes though 
Going to retry and do it better this time.
In Dutch we call it āleergeldā learningmoney. Itās a bit like recovery 
Today? Work.
Have a nice weekend all! And if you are struggeling because weekends are triggering for you? Try to think of this day as an ordinary one, a weekday and just another ordinary 24 houres.
You can do that can you? 
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day 29! havenāt been posting daily because ive been really busy with my new job and an ongoing roach infestation which has caused me an enormous amount of stress. iām feeling a lot better about both those things right now, and just really glad to have made it to a month. i think this has been by far the one of the hardest months of my life and iām hoping iām gonna see a turnaround soon.
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73 no sugar, no binge
29 UPFs
29 dairy
Felt mentally very confused yesterday. Changed the hormone dose. Already feeling better. This stuff always messes with my head and it always takes me far too long to register where itās coming from 
.
My tummy bug seems mostly gone. Iām looking forward to normal eating again.
Iām going to look after my plants today. Spring is around the corner after all. IT needs maintenance too.
A walk, Yoga, some family time. A good day.
Wishing everyone a day of peace, light, and freedom 
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Day 1141,
How many people who were close to me can show up in one single dream? A lot it seems, quite confusingā¦.
Have a blessed 24 hours 
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Congratulations 
Coolest numbers ever 
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Welcome to the family
Lovely to have you here with us
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Day 33:
Late night, well early morning, check-in, just past 1am here. Decent day today, good gym session this morning. Work was a bit crazy to start the day, but once i got all my guys out to their jobs things mellowed out. Managed to get home fairly early, got my Peloton ride in, did my stretching and spent my night doing laundry and catching up on the show The Curse of Oak Island.
Was really hoping to get to bed early, but sleep hates me and for some reason i hate it back. Luckily i dont have to be up until 7:30. Iāll go to the gym and then i need to go finish installing my daughterās hardwood floor in her bedroom at her momās house. It will make her happy and its always fun to be with her.
Still enjoying being sober, enjoying my solitude, if anything life has slowed down and feels peaceful, i need that.
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63 in the bank
At work tonight. Busy busy
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Hi, welcome, nice to meet you, hope to see you around 
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@Tragicfarinelli @CATMANCAM @JazzyS @Mno thank you guys. I talked with my aunt, everything is under control. Heās alive and he started taking the meds again so I hope soon he will feel better.
I hate being so far from them, I can only call or send messages and hope they will answer. He is never answering. Today morning I txt him that we donāt have to talk, just send me any random emoji so I know you are functioning (I donāt know why but I couldnāt just said āthat you are aliveā, that was to much) and he sent me ā
ā so itās enough for me (for now).
I wish I could go for a run now to clean my mind a bit but Iām alone with kids today. Maybe some hard kettlebell workout gonna do the game. From all this cousin gate I forgot to make February push up challenge yesterday 
But itās okay, I will catch up today.
I feel better Iām happy
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856 day check in 
The past few days I been so close to relapse.
Itās weird. It can either go two ways for me right now.
I always remember when being sober for years before, that I got to like 2 years and it became my new life style as I really did not want to drink. This past 2+ yrs I have been waiting to see this happen again for me, if it even would this time.
I came to a realisation -
I could just go and do it but why arenāt I ?
Iām actually stopping myself because I donāt want to, itās just my mind still healing, showing me I can but I actually really donāt want to, and I donāt need to keep feeling like it is what I want just because the feeling is familiar.
The past few days I have been ready to meet a dealer and get a drink - what has stopped me is I have spent the past 3-4 days with like flash backs of why I shouldnt. Itās like a reel of memories just popping up through out the day and that stops me.
The realisation I came to is that THIS IS THAT MOMENT - THE MOMENT WHERE I GO THROUGH A STAGE WHERE MY MIND IS DECIDING/SHOWING ME I REALLY DONT WANT TO USE/DRINK ANYTHING ANYMORE, THE DELUSION IS THAT I THINK I DO STILL.
So it goes two way, I either give in or I let my mind play out and stay strong because I convince myself not to and itās making me realise I donāt actually want to use or drink.
Not sure if this makes sense but I think this is the moment where the delusions stop and the real wake up call of past mistakes and problems that arise from my addiction are showing me and making me deeply not want to ever be in that place ever again. So Iām at the point where if I stay strong, things get really easy because I really donāt want to drink anymore. I see it for what it is - I hopeā¦ As if I wanted to I would of by now, Iām being stopped by my self , by my own mind, by my own reasoning. This has to be part of that change in my brain where I really know I donāt want to use or drink again like actually really know it and believe it.
Almost got everything back organised at home. But still feel maybe me not being so active here isnāt all too do with being so busy (all though I have been extremely busy) some is using that as an excuse!
Have a lovely day everyone
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Glad to read you are feeling better
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Good morning all! Checking in on day 64. Super unmotivated right now so just trying to manage that and force myself to be a member of society. Hoping I work through this soon and just like the weather, this storm passes. I hope everyone has an amazing day!
and
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