@ELY83 congrats on all the 2s 
@KrissyMae I hope the antibiotics do help until you can get your root canal done 
🩵
@Shel75 welcome 
@mreeclee welcome back
@JonB congrats on your year 
@Mischa84 that’s good news 🩵
@Twizzlers stay strong your true self knows you don’t want to go back there, try not to let the relapse thoughts ruminate, and stay connected 🩵
@Pickles congrats on 3 years
@PositiveThoughts congrats on 2+ weeks sending strength 🩵
@Catmama23 I’m sorry your symptoms are bad I hope you get answers and a plan asap 🩵
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@Pamela congrats on 2 weeks and the first hurdle 
@acromouse congrats on your 30 day milestones
@Chevy55 congrats on 30 days
1272 days no alcohol.
737 days no cocaine.
252 days no vape.
Checking-in with yesterday’s numbers…
Very relaxed day, my mind was calm and peaceful and I just enjoyed the welcomed relief of that.
Late afternoon my dad called me to say my brother and his family were visiting in the evening as they hadn’t seen him for his birthday yet. He didn’t think I would go because they were getting a Chinese takeaway, and I can’t drive in the dark, but wanted to invite me anyway. I initially declined, but then I thought about it a lot and didn’t want to pass up on the opportunity to see my nieces, as I did reach out to my SIL earlier in the week to ask when I could visit again, but she said they were busy for the forseeable. So I decided to get a taxi to my dad’s to spend the evening with them all, and it was really nice, I was planning to get a taxi home but my dad gave me a lift so that was nice of him. Unfortunately having a small portion of takeaway Chinese, lead to a binge with my diet bars when I got home, I ate 3 instead of 1, nothing major, especially in comparison to my binge-eating history, but I want to stay fully accountable because the familiar feelings of losing control and guilt and shame were present, I had a good streak, I’ll get it back, and more hopefully.
I hope you’re all having wonderful sober weekends.
🩵
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Cheking in. Typical I allways check in when Im having a hard day. Something is going on, and I never know if its Something bad going on or if its just my anxiety. “Just”, becaus its hell no just just. I know I have health anxiety. And no matter what I feel, like fex a little sting some place, my alarm goes of LOUD, and I start to feel Something everywhere. Tired of this. Tomorrow Im going for my first emdr, but now Im scared to because of whats going on in my body.
At least Im sober 
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Happy Sunday, all. Checking in on day 207.
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Oh my gosh I am sorry to hear that, especially as a parent!
Schools really have a contradictory approach to bullying. They say 0 tplerance and then…8 years of that shit your daughter has gone through. Good for her standing up for herself & good for you trying to guide her through it. Xo
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39 days free of alcohol
33 days free of THC
Today the storm clouds are gathering in my head. Telling me that nothing will work out, that I’m dying, that I’m worthless, that I’ll never be free of pain, that I’m a loser, that actually the world owes me, that I’ve been screwed, and on and on. I’ve done all the things I’m supposed to do and nothing helps. So I guess I just have to ride this out. It’s very very unpleasant. I have to remember this will pass even though it doesn’t feel like it. I hate being angry: I feel like I’m one moment away from saying fuck it. Everything has gotten so much harder since I got clean. Why. Why why why.
Thank you @SoberWalker and @CATMANCAM
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Hot chocolate is always the answer. Especially with marshmallows. Mmm
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Day 35: checking in 
Hope everyone has a great sober day
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12 or 13 days weed free. I keep forgetting. 2007 days alcohol free. 2 days gamble free. Lost snother pool tournament last night. But played OK so wasnt too upset. Lol
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353
Missed check in last night, I think for the first time. I didn’t forget. I should have checked in before I went out bc I was too tired when I got home after helping my friend prep her attic for painting today. I’ll check in again tonight when the number rolls over. Enjoy your Sunday!
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Have I missed your birthday @SoberWalker ???
Happy belated birthday wishes Claudia 
Hope things with your cousin turn out for the good @Mischa84 . I’m so sorry you have to worry about him not being able to be there.
My brother and his wife are having a hard time with her son. Drug abuse and addiction effects life of so many people besides the addict… It is just hard.
Stay strong and positive my dear!
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Checking in after a chilled day. Took Rocky for a beautiful walk this morning in the countryside, so blessed to live here. He absolutely loved it!! Looking after my poorly cat suki, she’s 15 and her dementia has progressed the last couple of weeks. Trying to make her life as easy as possible, thinking she’s loving the extra attention too! My boys came back from their dads yesterday, was meant to be today but they wanted to come home early, lovely having some extra time with them, though my nearly 16 year old spent most of it gaming till he wanted me to get the clippers out on his hair lol Apparently I did a better job then his barber so he’s now stationed me as his new one 
chilling at the mo with Rocky then an early night. Have appointment tomorrow with Archie’s consultant regarding his CFS, hoping that will go ok 
hope you have all had a blessed Sunday 
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Checking in on the evening of day 462 AF.
Spent most of the day at the hospital with my wife; She started to feel quite unwell last night and we had to go to the Accident & Emergency dept this morning. A boatload of blood tests, blood pressure checks, xrays etc later and she’s back home in her own bed.
All about the pain management for her these days.
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Day 82. Hey everyone, just checking in. Yesterday was good went for my bike ride and had a blast, in the middle of shopping Mariah my ex messaged me and was like where is autumn, we had plans today with family for dinner. Well first of all she did not express this when I asked her in the morning if autumn could come, she was like I hope you guys didn’t feed her 
. I got so mad, I didn’t bitch at her or yell but I did say omg Mariah I’m sorry we ruined your plans sarcastically, I said I’m sorry but if my daughter is hungry I’m not going to let her starve for your plans and I said you should have expressed this that you had plans. I said yes we did Feed her and that they should be home soon. There was a little more bickering but w.e I moved on. Then this morning autumn messages me on snap chat saying daddy mommy told me you drink and do drugs and I shouldn’t want to be around you. She said she hates it there and wants to come with me. I kept my cool and told autumn I love her so much and that her and sissy will get to come with me soon enough. I seriously hate my ex, I never express it though it tell my kids how many times she cheated on me or ever talk bad about her. But my ex loves to do it about me and it is fucked up. Idk I’m just having a hard day but I know drinking or drugs won’t solve anything. I have zero desire to use anything. Fuck all that, sometimes I wish I was back home so I could be with my girls. But in the end I’m assuming no places will hire me for and I’m stuck here in Plattsburgh for a reason, I don’t have a damn clue what my higher powers plan is but I hope it has a happy ending. Much love
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Good afternoon! Today is the beginning of day 4. By this time, I usually cave but NOT TODAY! I’m still feeling really confident and motivated. No cravings at all and I’m really focusing on introspection and making a list of things I want to accomplish today. Other times I’ve tried to quit, even when I hit my 35 days, I had to tell myself “I’m not going to drink today” all day long for the first week. Then I would spend the day battling cravings and urges. After that first week it got a lot easier, but never quite subsided fully. This time is different and I’m really thankful for that.
Last night I had a flashback. There was an image of me sitting at the bar frozen, stone faced while the rest of the patrons zoomed around me having a good time. Upon reflection, I realised that visual was a representation of how I felt at times. I’ve never been a bar/club person and a large majority of my drinking was private. But when I’m out in public, I tend to be hyper aware of myself and others around me (which allowed me to tolerate more alcohol). I have distinct memories of karaoke night with my best friend at our local bar (a rare treat at the time), and suddenly a wave of complete dissatisfaction would hit me. Usually I was already several drinks in. It would happen in the middle of what I would call a “good” moment. It felt like I emotionally froze and sank into a negative space of sadness and emptiness. Those moments were brief and, of course, I would chase it with another drink. I’m glad my mind encapsulated that moment for me. I’m also glad I’m subconsciously reminding myself of how miserable I actually was when I drank, instead of tricking myself into thinking I was happy in that moment.
Thank you @Naomi for posting this:
It really validated exactly what I felt to be true throughout my addiction and it’s probably the reason I had that enlightening flashback. The moment that buzz faded and I waited just a little too long for that next drink, the emotional “freeze and sink” would happen. If I drank enough, fast enough, I could avoid this feeling. This always lead me to my next drink in an endless attempt to cling to the top of that spiraling drain. Little did I realise that the drinks are what pulled the plug on that drain to begin with. I see that now and hopefully we can help others see that.
Stay strong, lovlies! 
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U got this…keep going…One day at a time …its day 3 for meeh…
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I really like this, thanks for sharing.
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Day 63
Watched All Of Us Strangers. I don’t get emotional with movies often, but that movie made me cry. After that I had a long and a bit tiring talk with my mom. Thankfully I had to walk the dog, so got some fresh air in before bed. Tomorrow early morning to the hospital with the parents and after that rush to work for a meeting. Busy day but we’ll get through it hangover free
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That sounds good. I did eat a huge donut with chocolate frosting. Not great but hangover free.
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