Checking in daily to maintain focus #62

Happy Saturday Jasmine. Thank you as always. I agree that gratitude is always the best way to start the day. Keep at itšŸ’›

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Need to go back and catch up! Iā€™ll admit I was feeling pretty down yesterday and this morning, but shit happens and I have healthy ways to cope. I reached out to friends and family, I read some of a good book, I watched a movie I love (but it maybe wasnā€™t the best choice :sweat_smile:) and I cuddled with my pup. I did some silly stuff like fall asleep on the couch and screw up my neck - oops. But itā€™s all good. My husbandā€™s travel home didnā€™t go as planned and he had to stay the night in North Carolina. I had to cancel our plans for our overnight trip to Madison which was a big bummer. I have to argue for our money back after paying extra to cancel our reservation if necessary. I havenā€™t called back but I need to, I just really dislike those issues. Heā€™s on the way home now though and it will cheer me up big time to see him. Iā€™m glad I got the house somewhat tidied up last night so itā€™s not a wreck. Iā€™m a homebody, I love being home but I was really looking forward to this mini vacation for my birthday after this week alone. I will gladly accept having him home, he didnā€™t want to be delayed either, and helping him have a restful afternoon and evening. Thanks for listening to my woes, they are pretty ridiculous after having written them out, Iā€™m grateful he is safe and almost home. Iā€™m grateful Iā€™m so well loved by so many people who are there for me when I need them. Iā€™m so so grateful for this little furry baby who is a joy in my life, sweet Lupe. She misses her papa too.

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@ELY83 those are some beautiful numbers! How fun, and what a lovely post. Iā€™m grateful to call you a friend here and to be on this journey with you. :heartpulse:

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Checking in on a rainy Saturday. Day 15 sober.
Having a tough day, and feeling a bit down, due to chronic sleep deprivation. My 9 month old daughter is a lot of work these days, and overall I just find everyday life is exhausting. I find I have 2 or 3 great days per week where I get lots done and have a good energy flow ā€” but on the other end, a lot of days I just wonder how Iā€™m going to keep it all together.
Trying to just focus on what I have to be grateful for.
Have a great day and take care of yourself.

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So true!!
I was going to tidy the front garden today, but I decided itā€™s okay to just do nothing today. I did prepare everything so I can do it tomorrow. I have unpacked so quickly and have everything organised and I think all the upheaval has me thinking I always need to be doing something or Iā€™m not doing enough.
I think my sobriety needs to come first today. The front garden will still be there tomorrow and il enjoy doing it.
I think this evening after I have walked Polly (doggy) I will make food and get on here.
After all everything inside the home is done, I pushed myself so much unpacking and building furniture etcā€¦ itā€™s all done now. It still hasnā€™t sunk in that Iā€™m home, and itā€™s an exciting experience and I just have to get settled in my mind.
Yes, so tonight just do the basics, and then relax on here and reading through my posts and everyone elseā€™s is what I need. I donā€™t need to tidy the front garden I want to but it can wait until tomorrow.
Thank you everyone for your messages :kissing_closed_eyes:

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Checking in on day 461 AF.

Havenā€™t been on here much recently, been struggling a little bit. No temptation to drink or anything, just had a lot of family stuff happening thatā€™s taken over all of my thoughts and energy.

Really need a holiday.

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Checking in Day 25

Feeling empowered to keep riding the sober train. Choooo choooo :steam_locomotive: :upside_down_face:
Itā€™s a nice day here in Toronto.
Took the pup for a walk, making an apple cobbler and gonna do a bit of reading!
Grateful for second chances, my family and this community.
Sending strength and serenity to all :heavy_heart_exclamation::pray:t3::bouquet:

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11 days weed free. 2005 days alcohol free. Lost a pool tournament last night and got pretty upset. Im not a graceful loser lol

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Lull in the storm, but itā€™s supposed to pick back up later this afternoon and go through till tomorrow. Still have power, so thatā€™s great!
No snow plow yet (weā€™re on a private lane thatā€™s about 500m long so hopefully he takes a swipe before it starts up again or he may not push through)
Spent two hours getting the roundabout cleared and road in front of house done, so less to do tomorrow after the second half.
I prefer the rain on the West Coast of Canada to the snow on the east coast, lol.

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congrats on your 2+ weeks of sobriety. OOF ā€“ it canā€™t ben easy with a 9 month old and gloomy winter days. Maybe talk to your doctor to see if you need a vitamin boost? I am sending you energy and love friend ā€“ it will get easier. I do hope you are able to catch up on some sleep soon.

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I love that ā€“ It is totally ok to do nothing today. Even with a nothing day you have accomplished a lot ā€“ prep for garden work tomorrow, walk with Polly, make food, catch up on TS, stay sober for another 24 hours. Girl you should be proud. Glad you got all the unpacking done (you did do that mighty quick lol). Now it is time to breathe.

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Day 62
Chilling on the couch watching Landscapers after a day of chores. Cleaned the house, did some laundry and dyed my hair. Everything (including me) is shiny again :bubbles:
Unfortunately doggo isnā€™t feeling too well and vomited a few times. Iā€™m keeping an eye on him, hopefully itā€™s nothing serious.

I love slow weekends without any appointments, especially after a busy week. The only obligation is to recharge my battery :sloth:

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Day 81. Last night was good, I was just getting ready to head out the door for the 7 meeting and autumn face timed me so I said NVM bc I wanted to talk with her, when she got on the phone I could tell something was wrong, she was very quiet and I could tell she was holding her tears back. She would keep looking over at her mother and finally I said whatā€™s the matter babe everything is ok and she just broke down crying saying she doesnā€™t want me to leave and she misses me. It broke my heart, I just reassured heard I am always going to be here. Then her mom walked away and she tried whispering something in the phone. I couldnā€™t hear her so I just said wait for another day to tell me so she wouldnā€™t get in trouble. This morning I picked her up from basketball practice and she told me her mom said the same thing as always, sheā€™s not going to let her see me on the weekends or go over to my momā€™s anymore if she keeps crying after seeing me. Itā€™s so fucked up of my ex and I know she says this shit bc just before autumn called last night she messaged my mom saying she regrets letting the girls stay with me bc now they wonā€™t stop crying. Like are you fucking stupid? Reassure your kids and let them know itā€™s ok to feel sad. Ugh I canā€™t stand my ex sometimes. Autumn got to come with me and my step dad to bring me home. Addie didnā€™t want to come so that was ok. But yeah made it to Plattsburgh, gave autumn all the love I could in the world. Now going for a little ride on the new bike. Groceryā€™s and stuff like that. Much love

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I was such a daddyā€™s girl my entire young life ā€¦ my parents got divorced when I was 12, and then somehow I ended up being a once a week phone call for him. Never stop doing what youā€™re doing. Stay strong, keep being the best dad. You canā€™t control her actions but you can control yours. Keep it up :black_heart:

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Good job JonB.

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38 days free of alcohol
32 days free of THC
:seedling:

My symptoms have been really bad and they (and the anxiety of not knowing the cause) are driving me crazy. Had a full breakdown in the middle of the nightā€¦ Iā€™m so desperate for relief and answers. I have an action plan for next week of trying to get an earlier appointment but I know itā€™s probably going to be a while before I feel better or know whatā€™s going on. The health stuff combined with being unemployed feels too much at times. Catch myself in a lot of self pity - why canā€™t I catch a break. The reality is I have a lot to be grateful for, and these problems are perhaps caused by my drinking, and I definitely wouldnā€™t be able to address them or be as aware of them if I was still drinking. So this is still the right and best path forward. Today my wife and I zoomed with our friend who is going through chemo for stage 2 breast cancer. She is so strong and has a great attitude and puts my problems in perspective. It wonā€™t be this way forever. Everything is always changing.

@TrustyBird glad that my rambling helped :people_hugging:
@Pickles congrats on the anniversary and thanks for your post, I needed to hear that today

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Checking in day 14. Went out to meet some friends. Didnā€™t drink. Usually itā€™s all I would be thinking about. My friends didnā€™t really drink much either a few of them had one drink and then we went for coffee. They donā€™t know that Iā€™m not drinking at all now or the extent of the reason why. In the past, If I was drinking and people only had one drink and then wanted to go for coffee, Iā€™d be annoyed (in my mind) ā€¦ Whatā€™s the point in going out if youā€™re not getting pissed?! But realised when I was out this time that normal people doing feel the need to be drunk all the time. They just want to go out and catch up with their friends. Not drinking this time made me realise this. And it was nice to just catch up with people rather than focusing on when Iā€™d be getting the next drink and being annoyed at why people didnā€™t want to have a ā€˜wild night outā€™. Lots of people are being more conscious about their drinking these days, which is good as itā€™s easier to stay sober when those around you arenā€™t drinking much. Passed the first hurdle ODAATā€‹:v:t2::purple_heart:

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In bed now, feeling good.

Yes I really did unpack and organise so quickly. Everything is so nice and in its place. I donā€™t think I realise how hard I worked myself. What is good i guess is that I got to declutter and only came home from the temp accommodation with minimal stuff. So cam home with less then we left with. That has helped my mind and life so much.
I keep waking up and Iā€™m look around and Iā€™m like oh Iā€™m home yayyy.
Hope you are doing well :slightly_smiling_face: Iā€™m going to read around and see how everyone is doing.
Thank you :hugs:

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Day 720
Woke up early for work. Really didnt want to go in today but I really didnt have a good reason not to. So here i am. Work is almost over anyway. 35 min to go :slight_smile:
Going to pick up a pizza on the way home. Then relax with my family. Not much else happening today. Hope everyonr is doing well!

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Congratulations on 2 weeks!

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