I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my mum 3 years ago and my grandpa 2 weeks ago, so I can empathise massively.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself space to feel. If you ever need to reach out for support, we’re all here for you.
I’m proud of you for staying sober through such a horrific time, and I’m sure your sister would be as well.
Sending lots of support your way x
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Twentyine!
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@wahtisnormal Congrats on two weeks and on your run! It’s such a blessing to be able to move and feel one’s own body.
@MrFantastik Your sober holidays sound awesome. Have to admit I’m slightly envious 
@Mno Impostor syndrome is an Awful monster 
. Visits me almost daily. Just getting at it and starting my work usually chases it away. I’m sure you’ve got this.
@Just_Laura I’m sorry for your bad sleep and the headaches. It’s like a chain reaction. Shitty sleep => shitty head 
I hope your next night is going to be better.
48 no binge, no sugar
4 UPFs
4 dairy
Had a really good night. Good sleep is such a gift.
I’m looking with curiosity towards today. Want to find that bug that keeps crashing my game AI. Have a class later at school with the older kids. Always enjoy these.
Groceries, need a birthday present for a foodie friend.
Some Yoga in the evening.
Peace to y’all 
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Day 199. Working 8_3.
Nice evening last night, it’s got cold here. Well not really 
probably down to 6 degrees
I feel blessed to have stopped last summer. Not sure if I would of till things just got so out of hand. It was hard to stop. I was chaotic in my stopping and starting… It’s better to be alcohol free and just focus on the day ahead
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Checking in on day 436 AF.
Sorry I’ve not been on for a few days - been really busy with family stuff and struggling quite a bit with my anxiety. Been avoiding other people to concentrate on myself, the wife and kids.
Hope you are all doing well.
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Good evening all. Checking in on day 872. Know it’s been awhile since I’ve been on here. I’ve had a lot happen in the last few months. I took a federal job that would allow me to retire again within ten years, amazing benefits, and it’s working with K9’s so I don’t have to see people to much , everything was looking great. As some may know on here my wife and I were expecting again. December 7th my wife gave birth to our daughter Magnolia but unfortunately Magnolia did not make it through delivery. We still don’t have any answers as to why so it’s rather aggravating. I won’t lie a bit, when it happened, even being out of state I knew where the closest liquor store was and wanted to be there. But I managed through the pain and kept my promise that my daughter wouldn’t see my drink. Been exactly 30 days today since this happened, still seems like it was yesterday. I seen a grief counselor today who’s very helpful so far and looking forward to next weeks visit. Ready to get to work so I can have some routine back in my life as everything has just been flipped. Hope all is well everyone and stay safe.
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Checking in on day
244 no alcohol
175 no vapes or ciggs
14.51 no form of marijuana
Its early morning here
2:49am
I woke up at around 2 and cant fall back asleep so i decided to get up for a while
Day off from work today and tomorrow
Much needed break
Not much to talk about; just kinda maintaining
Im just happy im sober
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Day 13
Feeling good about life and work. I am participating again. Not just watching from the sideline in a hazy stupor, knowing things need doing but not doing them. Dealing with the consequences of my neglect is a good reminder and reason to stay sober.
I opened the bedroom curtains for the first time in weeks and there is mould all over the window frame and up the walls. It took all of 10 minutes to deal with it and clean it up but 2 weeks ago I would not have even bothered to open the curtains so it would have stayed hidden until it was bad enough to creep out from behind the curtain and be visible on the surrounding walls.
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I am so so sorry for your loss, how awful for you and your wife. Magnolia is a beautiful name for a much loved soul.
Well done on staying sober. It won’t seem like much, but it really would have made things so much worse.
Sending my condolences to you all x
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My god I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. I wish you stay strong and keep your promise to her.
I have no words.
Take care.
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Thank you. She was immensely loved by many. I was having a hard time talking about her but she was here and feel like I shouldn’t keep her hidden away.
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Thank you. I have every intention of keeping that promise. I won’t say it’s much better than the day it happened but there’s glimpses of happiness now and again, so as always it’s progress not perfection.
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She is, and will always be your beautiful daughter. She will always be with you. I hope your pain eases in time. x
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I am so sorry for your loss my friend. My thoughts and my love go out to your family. Magnolia, what a beautiful name 
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I am so sorry to read this. My heart goes out to you and your wife. There is no describing that kind of pain and all I can do is offer my thoughts, prayers and inbox if you need someone to listen.
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Day 4. I feel good today. It feels good waking up without a hangover! I got out of bed 2 hours before work and got so much done. I dealt with some difficult people at work and instead of driving to the liquor store I drove straight home. My partner is a police officer (crazy an alcoholic was living in the same home as him and he didn’t know) and he started work at 2pm today so I am home alone all evening. I’ve had urges but haven’t caved which is very empowering. This is the longest I’ve been sober in about 3 years. I am feeling positive at the moment but I am aware I’m only at the beginning of this new chapter 🫶🏼
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*Day 1938 
Ok…D day…
Today is my cover up tattoo appointment.
After almost 2 years of painful laser sessions to get rid of the messed up tattoo it’s time to put new ink over it.
Hope I have the trust to let the artist do his thing and let go of the control. It’s hard to do so because I did 2 years ago and he failed. But proud at myself because I stood up for myself and got all the laser cost refunded. And also todays new ink is for free.
So…if it’s going to look a bit like the picture above I’m happy
Fingers crossed
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Welcome back Chris, I’m so sorry about the sorrow and the loss. That is so much to deal with. Glad you are still sober. My thoughts are with the both of you.
Ps. Beautiful name you gave to your daughter.
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Its good to see you here but that is devastating news. Magnolia is a beautiful name. I’ll keep her and your family in my thoughts. Well done on the sober days. Drinking never helps. My condolences for your loss.
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I’m so so sorry to read this, take care of yourselves 
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