Thats so heavy man. The pain must be immense, sorry for you and your family.
Good dad sticking to your commitment bro.
4 Likes
Day 58 checking in
15 Likes
Checking in. Day off. I swallowed something wrong, and coughed a lot. So now Im about to die because that obviously got in my lungs or are stuck in my throatā¦ Or should I say Hello anxiety, F**k offā¦
13 Likes
Good morning, checking in day 39. Have a great day everyone! 
and 
16 Likes
Checking in Day 81)
Iāve been a bit absent off here the last week just catching up with life. Doing alright though 
I seem to remember the last time I was here (pre-relapse), I was bitching about failing a driving test. The first part (theory) of my test expired due to Covid and my extreme commitment to alcohol so I went and did it again yesterday and passed it. I didnāt do any revision or practice tests at all in preparation, I just rocked up and let God take the wheelā¦ and it mustāve been God because it wasnāt me! 
funnily enough though, (for the brits), the hazard perception videos have been the same for nearly 15 years - the last video is still the train station roundabout in Letchworth!
Iāve gotta find some more local work which Iāll be getting onto today; Iāve made my feelings clear with a potential partner and have put my cards on the table there soā¦ who knows?! Maybe sheāll meet me half way, maybe she wonāt - weāll see what she and God say.
Been focusing a lot of the ādoingā part of recovery the last week or 2 so am going to start again on step 4. My sponsor and I havenāt been able to meet up for about 6 weeks and finally managed to yesterday morning for a good catch-up over coffee, God bless that man. Heās been on the phone regularly but a busy Man.
Hopefully everyone is well and making good choices
Hugs not drugs
19 Likes
Day 116 and Iām enjoying our first snowstorm of the season!
19 Likes
Hey all, checking in on day 1304. I hope everybody has a good one!
16 Likes
Day 205. Checking in. Long night last night at work. Tired this morning. Going to bed early I think.
Iāve known for a long time that Iām unhappy and uncomfortable in the way I live my life even without alcohol. I just always feel like there is something else Iād rather be doing. I get the urge to change something but I donāt know what or how.
Today Iāll try to practice gratitude. I need to learn to be happy with what I do have.
Have a good day guys.
20 Likes
Day 360.
Iām still sore from the workouts and grumpy from the lack of sugar and even more grumpy from the monthly hormonal changes I have to go through. Which is in part why I havenāt posted as much in the last week.
But Iām here. Iām alive. I know Iām alive because parts of my body I had forgotten about are really really sore! Did you know you had muscles in your shoulder pads? Itās a stupid question, of course you do. But did you know those parts can hurt? 
But more importantly, Iām sober! And grateful to be so.
20 Likes
I am so, so sorry to hear this. My heart aches for you and your partner. You are in my thoughts 
X
3 Likes
Day 56. Honestly wish I could say Iām in a good space, but Iām not. I smile and hold my head up and act like all is well, but when Iām home or just in my thoughts I have no idea how to get rid of the pain I feel. Part of me doesnāt even know what pain Iām feeling, I try to keep the mindset things could be worse bc they could, also things could be better bc they could and Iām just somewhere in the middle. Years and years ago I tried killing myself and I never really thought about it again since then, but last night it popped in my head, it was a quick thought that was swatted away bc I know the real consequences from it. But I said in my head what if I just hang myself in my door, how long would it take for people to find me? I imagined the pain Id feel inside as I slipped away. I wouldnāt ever act on in and Iām in a safe space in that aspect but still the thought came into my mind. I feel like Iām going crazy and idk if itās bc this new medication or not, my thought have been wild since starting it and I feel angry a lot and have fights in my head a lot and think about things over and over. Iām stupidly still going on with this girl, who if Iām being honest I donāt even really think I like her, I was talking to girls behind her back and on a dating app and even had sex with other girls while talking to her. But yet Iām like going nuts in my mind of her and this guy, and itās fucked up of me. And totally not ok for either of us. Today Iām deleting the dating app, and Iām telling her Iām sorry for the way Iāve been and Iām going to go out separate ways. Iām never going to be ready for a relationship until I fix myself and thatās not going to be for a long ass time. I clearly have no business trying to date and I know this very much soo. I have so much work to do itās not even funny. But atleast being sober I can put in that work Thursday I see my addiction counselor and Iām going to ask him about getting in with the mental health counselors they now have available. Do I think they will do me any good? Idk, idk what trauma Iām running from, I had a good child hood, I wasnāt abused I got everything I wanted. So idk. But yeah, this morning ride to work wasnāt bad. It was peaceful and fun bombing through snowbanks bc they were more hard bc of the colder weather. So it was fun and serene but idk much love ttyl
23 Likes
Day 1,306 clean and sober today. Soooo tiredā¦ have a great day everyone, love you guys 
23 Likes
Day 8, struggling today. Feeling quite demotivated and the cravings are ridiculously strong, so I think itās a duvet day!
20 Likes
Day 695
Morning everyone! Just checking in on another day clean and sober! Today will consist of a zoom mtg, exercise, and cleaning! Hope everyone enjoys their day!! 
21 Likes
Good morning all you beautiful strong people!
Checking in. One month sober. Iām all motivated by seeing all of yāallās accomplishments.
I have zero support at home and no one at work knows about my alcoholism. Iām feeling very alone and i just wanted to express my gratitude for everyone in this community. Just being able to have you all keeps me going.
One day at a time.
26 Likes
I am a strong believer and I love that you advised me to turn to God. Thatās a great reminder for me to always put my trust in Him no matter how hard it gets. My problem is I become afraid of asking Him for guidance and to be there with me through it all because Iām afraid my problem is so small that He has much bigger problems to handle and id just be getting in the way. This reminds me that there is nothing God canāt do. He can be with me while Heās with everyone else in the world too. I love that u said to read His word because I get so fired up when I read the Bible! Thank you for this advice. I really needed it!
6 Likes
Day 12/13
Sober and hanging on. Lots going on inside, lots going on with work. Hard to tell if my bullshit tolerance has snapped completely and Iām broken ā¦ or if there really are just a bunch of miserable 
unworthy moaning barstools in the world 
.
Peace out 
20 Likes
Checking in 4Y. 1W.
https://www.serenityvista.com/blog/attitude-of-gratitude-in-recovery
Gratitude Still my go to tool everyday 4 years later.
17 Likes
Checking in with 3 days under my belt.
Iām currently at work and the day has been going faster than i expected for a late shift! May even go to the gym for a second day in a row depending on how i feel when i get home.
Thankfully the headaches are subsiding. My cravings for a bottle of wine always hit me towards the end of the day so hopefully i can keep myself distracted this evening with either the gym or a good few episodes of Elementary whilst doing my jigsaw puzzle.
26 Likes
@HolySquid sending strength 
š©µ belated congrats on 10 months 
@Jimz belated congrats on your week
@Divadawn711 welcome 
that puzzle looks epic! 
@Chole welcome congrats on your days so far
@JINXER welcome congrats on triple digits 
@Garry congrats on your new PB
@Lexi_Liu welcome congrats on your sober time
@anon68572606 Iām glad itās comforting that you know heās no longer suffering, but sorry for your loss 
sending strength š©µ
@Riley_1 belated congrats on your week Iām glad your friend was supportive š©µ
@Deelzebub Iām so glad your family visit went well 
š©µ
7 Likes