First day as an experience expertise worker went great actually. Sort of like my normal work as a nurse, only a lot of the boring routine stuff removed from it. Much more time to spend with my admitted fellows, as well as be a bit closer to policy making as well. Thanks for the positive thoughts @acromouse, @CATMANCAM, @JazzyS. One day a week isn’t enough
For today it’s back to my normal job and nursing duties. Which is fine as well. But very glad I took the plunge. On we go, on my road of Discovery. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you can all friends. We’re in this together. Sober and clean. Love.
Chilled out day today. Lunch out with some family. The island we’re at is famous for its vineyards. Lunch today was at a vinyard and distillery. Stayed clear of the distillery and ordered an alcohol free craft beer with lunch.
Then home for a nap and then evening swim.
I think talking to the doc about the new med is a must, those thoughts popping up are not normal and need to be taken seriously. I also think you’re correct about working on yourself and not worrying about dating. Routine and structure are a good building block. Good on you for coming here and opening up.
Today is supposed to be a chill day. Looking forward to coding all day long Really want to crush this one stupid bug. It probably has something to do with wrong signalling order.
We have been invited to a birthday party this evening. The host is a very thoughtful vegan chef and I am looking very much forward to the buffet . Usually I would be wary of the food at a party but this one should be safe.
My addiction is singing the song of “it’s not that bad, you are blowing this out of proportion, why are you spending all this time with those addicts, you don’t belong there, these people have serious problems, you are an impostor, start doing something useful…”
Going to bed too late is taking it’s toll. I need to sort that out. Grateful that I am staying up late knitting and not drinking but still. By the time I finish work, make dinner, go to a meeting, have a bath or shower and tidy up a bit it is already about 9pm. I pick up the knitting and I think I am pushing myself to try and get as much done as I can. I need to slow down and enjoy the craft rather than rush for the finished object.
Day 200. Just need to relax and stay focused… Working 8_5 today. Woke up tho at 7.55. Bad nights sleep about my exs infidelity and all that fell from that.
I think I lost ability to cry. It’s so weird. Maybe I reached a limit of tears in my life already?
After my parents death I noticed that it’s very difficult to make me sad. I don’t cry when I’m sad. Even if someone die, I feel sad but I don’t cry. I was crying a lot when I was extremely tired first 2 years when twins were born. I didn’t sleep much and I cried almost every day. Then I was crying after fight with my husband’s, when I was feeling hopeless and unfair. Or when kids were extremely annoying and I lost my shit and was mean to them (sometimes I’m talking stupid things to them I very much regret later).
Since some time, I would say maybe a month, I noticed I can’t cry anymore. Even if I want to. Its not that I don’t have a reason. I feel all emotional and shaky but from outside I’m like a stone. Now I’m home alone, I had vary bad morning with kids, I want to cry and scream in a pillow, let it out, but I can’t… I feel like emotions are eating me from inside but I have some blockage I can’t let it out.
Well…
At least I’m sober.
Hello. Hit my two weeks this morning and very glad about it. The community here is wonderful I don’t contribute alot but just to come on and read helps so much.
Day 1,307 clean and sober today. Work has been so stressful. The new guy I trained went to graveyard shift yesterday so I’m back to working by myself again. It’s freaking wearing me out. Just because I can do everything doesn’t mean it’s right. I am looking into different options for work.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day today, love you guys
Day 57. After work yesterday went and got my cream horns and some other food. Got home ate and relaxed, watched a movie with a game or two of call of duty. My mind is in obsessive mode lately and I can’t shut my mind off at night. Finally fell asleep but tossed and turned all night, didn’t even feel like I slept. We were supposed to have some really bad winds and storm but when I got outside this morning it was just raining and super slushy on top of heavy snow. No side walks cleared so I just hit the middle of the road. I could of called a Uber, but honestly I feel more alive just being out in the weather and taking what comes my way. Finally got to work and I was soaked, but grateful I made it and can chalk another day to the work calendar. I’ve been here a month now and I’m super proud I haven’t called out. Any other time by now I would of called out probably atleast 3 times. I tried calling the hospital Monday and nobody called me back. I called the girl I interviewed with and yeah nothing returned, I called the recruiter yesterday in Vermont who is supposed to actually hire me and I’ll see if she calls me back. You know it’s funny when I applied for the job the interviewer was like you can’t miss 2 days within a year or you’ll be fired. It’s pretty cool you can put that type of worry over my head that I have to be at your dispose but can’t even have the decency to call me back. Honestly not even sure if they are a company I want to work for at this point. Much love everyone.
Morning guys. Checking in Day 119 SAF and 105 smoke free. We had some crazy storms blow through yesterday and last night so works gonna be a MoFo today, with all the flooding, down trees and power outages. Don’t care though, last day before I’m off for two. I plan on just trying to rest this weekend. Someone told me once.
Never ride faster, than your guardian angel can fly. I always thought about it, when I’m on the motorcycle, but I think it works just as well for life and sobriety. Slow the fuck down people, take a breather, and go at your own pace. You’re all doing great. We got this.
Really want to crush this one stupid bug. It probably has something to do with wrong signalling order.
. Usually I would be wary of the food at a party but this one should be safe.
and 
