I’m sorry you’re having health issues, I must have missed that! I’m glad you’re seeing some minor improvements. Be well!
4 Likes
Checking in on day 227.
It was a beautiful sunny and icy cold day here. I forced myself out to an energetic yoga class and then out for a couple of hours in the afternoon for a walk. I think I covered about 10k today. I also washed my bedsheets this morning so I have a lovely cosy bed to look forward to tonight.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day.
Photo of Dunsapie Loch from my walk today.
29 Likes
I was in the hospital for close to a month. I fell down the stairs in my new house. I don’t recall it, but it was apparently very bad. 
I am getting better!
10 Likes
Holy shit! Scary. Glad you’re improving.
3 Likes
Thank you so much, i genuinely appreciate it more than you know 
3 Likes
It’s the best feeling right? 
Congrats on the 10 days!!
Day 45
1.5 months sober and 1.5 months of daily check-ins on TS. I notice I’m not as much in my head anymore like I used to. Now I’m writing them down and harassing you lovely people with my thoughts. Sorry not sorry 
I didn’t feel like grocery shopping so I dove in my cubboard and made Indian lentil soup with coconut milk for diner. I forgot how easy, filling and comforting soup is. Top it off with some ginger tea and I’m happy as a camper.
Long work day ahead tomorrow with meetings, work lunch and a new years reception.
I am so glad I won’t have to think about whether I drink, how much would be appropriate and if I’d be able to drive home. Yay for sober life! 
17 Likes
He says those words each and every day he’s on your mind. We often dismiss what it takes for another person to be by our side through the thick of it all.
We sell ourselves short a lot, don’t feel grateful for what we have taking it for granted, fall into the routine of things and lose sight of the joy. So many things.
But you’re in a state where you knew what he means to you and meant. Just because he’s gone doesn’t mean that you have to let the spirit he gave you go too.
In western culture death is a dark day full of sadness and loss. It can lead to many mental health issues sitting in this state. In many other cultures death is a celebration… Their friend, companion, brother, sister, mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, cousin, love of their life is moving to a new stage of life. It’s a transcendence.
Believe me, I couldn’t grasp this thought but I am closer to it now losing my brother. Of course I cry and miss him but his life to me now means so much more then sitting in my feelings of loss. I want his daughters to feel safe knowing I can share a world that they aren’t aware of. One that I shared with him for my entire life. I can tell them stories, console them, share his jokes and do my best to bring out the good memories of their dad in our time of loss. His existence deserves it.
I hope that you can find a peaceful, calm, loving, memorable journey through this of your own. You both had what sounds like a good life together.
6 Likes
This is really beautiful. I imagine trolls live there!
7 Likes
Slept in today because it’s a snow day. Yay!
Began the process of initiating taking back our grandparent Rights for visitation with our Grandson and will go to any means necessary to have it ruled in our favour, legally.
Going to enjoy my day home with family.
11 Likes
I totally “get” the fatigue. I was off work yesterday and was back in bed (on the couch) by 10am to nap while watching the movie “Sully” (anniversary of the Miracle On The Hudson). Anyway, I wanted to get cigarettes so badly so I figured if I am napping I can’t get into trouble. I also gained a ton of weight since the Pandemic and am in a weird place of needing to work out but not wanting anyone to see how gross I am. I know this is all in my head, nobody gives a rat’s ass what I look like, but emotionally it’s hard to put on the sweats/tshirt and get to the gym. But We Will Get There! I’m here for ya!
8 Likes
Day 66 checking in
23 Likes
Great minds: I am also eating Mulligatawny Soup today! Hahaha…the coconut milk makes all the difference. 
I have been cooking at home for the last 10 days because if I go out, I will want an Espresso Martini. I like my creations better then the restaurants’, anyway.
6 Likes
Day 703
My morning started out great and then i had a bad interaction at the gym wirh another gym-goer. It really wasnt THAT bad but it triggered alot in me. I went to workout on one of the machines. This guy was working out a few machines down. As im about to sit down at my machine he comes up to me, telling me that hes working out on that machine too. He was really aggressive about how he spoke to me and his stance and posture was very triggering. I felt sooo small in that moment. Normally i have big mouth and stand my ground and would have at least said something, but i got up and let him use the machine. I went into another area and it completely threw off my workout. His body language reminded me of my ex from like 15 years ago and all the abuse that happened. I felt like shrinking away. Im really thrown off my it. I will still go to the gym tmrw. I wont let this person stop me from going.
Anyway… i got home and i started baking a cake. I have a custom cake to do for my husbands coworker. So that is a nice distraction.
Just waiting on a few packages to be delivered for the actual terrarium that we are putting together for our geckos. They are in a cage type terrarium now but we really wanted to use one of our 75 gallon tanks for them.
Anyway, im feeling a bit off and i wish i could just stop feeling this way. Hope everyone is having a decent day/evening!
24 Likes
Geez I hate THOSE guys. Had one Sunday using the pull up weights with his water and jumper on the treadmill. Asked him to move it and he kinda did, but looked furious. Was ready to dump it on the floor for him if he didn’t, which woulda been stupid of me also.
It’s a very intimidating space, especially the weights area at the back. It’s a wonder the machines aren’t blue… 
. Stand your ground.
7 Likes
Great work on getting to the gym girl …I am sorry for that interaction. I do hate when people try to take over multiple areas at once…the entitlement is frustrating and against any gym rules I’ve been in.
I know it messed with your day and I do hope you are able to find calmness in your baking.
Do not let this ass ruin any more of your day.
6 Likes
Day 317
Thanks to those wishing me a speedy recovery yesterday… you know who you are 
I am still feeling ill, but antibiotics starting to work and pain is beginning to ease. Of course I had to cancel all my pre-booked gym classes for days to come. Maybe Saturday I can do back, I’m holding on to that booking as I am holding on to the hope. I have a two houre volunteering session tomorrow night, hoping I feel well enough to go. I do need a little bit of interaction with people I am not related to and living with once in a while
The antibiotics make me feel a bit woozy, sleepy and lightheaded, a common side effect apparently. So I am off to bed now. Listening to “the unexpected joy of being sober”. I’ve read it before, now enjoying the audio version as my eyes struggle to focus on writing or television.
Sober and clean love to all of you
22 Likes
What a coincidence! Today was the first time I made that since a year or so 
I have more time and energy for cooking since being sober, home cooked ftw!
4 Likes
Thank you Jasmine and @Tragicfarinelli for ur kind words. It made me feel heard and quite abit better. I wont let this person unknowingly ruin my day anymore. Its done and over with. And i will get right back at the gym tmrw and kill my workout 
hope both of ur days are going well!
5 Likes
Checking in, Day 10 no alcohol and no cigarettes.
12 days ago I fired my Best Friend of over 25 years. Since she has been married (16 years), I have put in 98% to her 2%. For example, she has visited me 2 times in Eastern MA in 16 years where I have visited her/supported her in person in Western MA at least twice per year for the same time frame. We are older adults, it’s not like she has small children. We did talk on the phone monthly, but looking back over the call history, I called her every time. She didn’t call me. Anyway, I had 2 major life changes in November which didn’t even elicit a text from her, forget about a phone call or actual visit in person. And so, on the phone, I told her she couldn’t care less about me. And then I rephrased- “it would be impossible for you to care less about me.” I deserve more, I told her. She never shows up for me, I told her. And she said my opinion was wrong. I told her I was sorry if I hurt her by sharing all this and she said she was “fine.”
My expectation was that she would think about it for a few days… a week… and then reach out to say she was sorry for not being there for me over all these years. Say that she appreciated me visiting her mom in the hospital 3 hours away, flying with her to California to visit her dying father, driving 12 hours roundtrip to her house in ME just so we could spend time together. Nothing. Nada. I set myself up for disappointment by setting an expectation that I should have known would not have been met, based upon the history.
Anyway, for no reason, it hit me today that we are no longer friends. And that we were likely, not really friends over the past 16 years since she married shithead. And the latter makes me even sadder, today. Feeling very weepy. Feeling my feelings is hard!
This morning I went to the ocean to get some peace in my heart. After work I will go to the gym, walk on the treadmill, practice self-care, then go home and cook something
I will not drink alcohol and I will not smoke cigarettes.
Thanks for listening.
36 Likes
Day 207. Second check in. Off to bed at 9pm. Not v exciting or inspiring but up and working from 8. I find the winter months quite dull if I’m honest. Looking forward to longer days and lighter nights. Still find it hard enjoying things just feeling calm and normal I guess which is a bloody tragedy! Have a fab evening folks
20 Likes