Good job on setting up your boundaries, and feeling emotion around them. You are keeping your side of the street clean. However, be careful about judging how the other side of the street looks to you. Especially in early sobriety. We really should avoid trying to control others behaviors.
“I set myself up for disappointment by setting an expectation” of someone else
Yep, you did…
Take a deep breathe, focus on you right now at this very moment. Do the hedges need a little trimming? Maybe a new color paint on the house?
Then you can remind yourself of some fun times during those trips together.
And then forgive her for not being there for you to the level you needed.
Something i cant get off my head: Last weekend i was doing the groceries at the butcher, where i go to each week. They had a new colleague working. I had previously noticed that they are always having a glass of sparkling wine on the weekend, which is okay i guess. This time they asked their new coworker if he would like to have a glas as well. He replied, yes of course. Everybody seemed to be happy and one person said: “You are a good guy, you belong to the team”!. Does this mean, that you have to drink to belong to the team at work. Ugh. That makes me sick. I am old enough, that i would not care anymore, if i would not belong to the team. But if you are younger, you absolutely wang to be part of the team. In some situations alcohol is such an important thing in our society, that you can hardly escape. Thats a shame
Hi Cat,
I feel for you. I also recently stepped away from a one sided friendship which goes back to high school, probably 25 years too.
I had been unhappy with the balance for a long time and had stopped sharing things with her because she always tried to find a solution, I didn’t want a solution I was just chit chatting. Everything I said was turned around to her, every single time.
The final straw came when my youngest daughter went to Aus for a year, I told my friend she’d gone (a huge deal in my life) and she said mmm. mmm. Nothing else!
A few weeks later she was telling me that her son had gone to the US. I couldn’t even begin to think of a reply. I think I just sent a thumbs up.
I felt guilty for putting distance between us but I realised I deserved more from a friendship.
Hope you feel better about your decision soon, sometimes friendships just run their course
Yes, I agree. Alcohol is so ingrained in our society (and way of thinking) that no matter where you go, there is alcohol. It makes it challenging to socialize sometimes. Wish it wasnt that way…it makes you wonder…why do they make it so that alcohol a part of everything when its literally poision
Well this sucks. Got home and plugged my bike in, all the sudden I smell a weird electric burning. I look over and my fricken bike is smoking. Now I have no bike, and I’m stressed bc I need to get to work. I can’t afford Uber, walking will take me almost an hour 30 minutes.
You know a friend of mine shes in young 20s posted on fb, asking for random life advice (one of those fb prompts) anyways a friend posted this: Match effort. Dont chase someone or something that isnt giving you the same effort back to maintain a connection.
And i just felt you two needed to hear that, i am so sorry for both your losses and that you were both treated that way . I hope you both find better friends who respect you, dedicate time to the friendship, and treat you a whole alot better
@JazzyS thank you 🩵 @Dilettante good luck with your complaint @ShyBert good luck with your exams @Blondie75 congrats on 3 weeks @Catmama23 congrats on 3 weeks AF and 2+ weeks THC free @Eke congrats on 2000 days @Trixie1 congrats on 4 months @Butterflymoonwoman sorry about the guy at the gym and how he made you feel @Cat10 congrats on double digits sorry about the loss of your friendship @Meka welcome to the checking-in thread congrats on your sober time
1255 days no alcohol.
720 days no cocaine.
235 days no vape.
Today’s message from Sober Time is very apt for the way my morning routine is going at the moment. I don’t know why I am going so slowly with it, and finding it so hard to complete each stage, but I am still doing it, I have to, else like the message implies, I will stop.
I attended my first online course for this term this afternoon. It was okay, but very draining. The courses are all 2hrs 15mins, but they could all easily be done in an hour, it hurts my brain how slow the delivery is and how many interruptions from other students there are, but I persevere, it helps me practice patience.
I have another online course tomorrow afternoon, and this one is about hoarding/decluttering so I am hoping to get some inspiration.
I am meeting my baby niece on Friday morning! Eek 🩷
Was at a meeting the other day and was thinking about things I was going to say and had like a mini panic attack. This is unlike me and now feel like I don’t want to go to other meetings bc it’s not that I like the sound of my own voice but how can I help other people if I just sit there and say nothing.
No point to my post I’m just thinking out loud.
Still sober one day at a time
Day 703
Im feeling very emotionally fragile. I dont feel very strong today. Not in a recovery sense (I feel good about my recovery), its just i feel “weak”. Every little thing is upsetting me. Im taking things personally and not letting things slide as easily as i normally would. Alot of times, the majority of things that happen dont even phase me. But today is a different story. I desperately need some self care tonight. Tmrw will be better
sigh … I know I did it to myself.
It makes it challenging to socialize sometimes. Wish it wasnt that way…it makes you wonder…why do they make it so that alcohol a part of everything when its literally poision 
. I hope you both find better friends who respect you, dedicate time to the friendship, and treat you a whole alot better 
🩵
🩷
keep it going xo.