Oooo i know those days. Love how youre like inner lightbulb went off: “self care time!” Be easy with yourself some days are just some days XO.
@cat10 I am also so sorry to hear about the end of a friendship. I have heard some stuff about how the death of a friendship effects us so hugely and I really agree, and those boundaries we set. You stood for yourself, and said it outloud and Im sorry she did not respond in kind but that means she does not see what you see. I have recentlt too lost relationships with my family for speaking my piece, and people who are willing to just walk like that…we not really in our lives and were not really our ride or die peopke. I knew this about this side of my family, but calling it out brought it to the light. You set the stage for change and uncomfortable conversations, said what was not okay with you and put yourself out there. Truth is, I believe that my relationships were broken long before and it sounds like yours perhaps was too. Shit is hard, but you stood for you and we deserve to know who will stand with us when we ask. XO. BIG HUGS TO YOU. & to @PinkyP too!!! Big hugs!
@Mindofsobermike im swearing with you right now!! Hope you get it sorted.
@RosaCanDo glad you are feeling a bit better today! Sending big hugs
Omg I just tried to respond to multiple posts and I dont know if im buolt for technology the way i just tried to be
6 months today!!! Wow. I really took it in. Really just, thought about that and how I was so determined and how I knew what I needed to do. How I wanted so desperately to do it, and how I wanted to be sober before the trial. By the time it starts Ill have wee 7 months under my belt, which is enough that I got a lottle foot hold and grip to hang on through tje storm.
I owe such a HUGE amount of gratitude to you all. My little pocket fam. Youre always right here, sharing of yourselves & offering encouragment, support, and most importantly your own experiences. One of the scariest things for me was what had worked in the past, was not where I wanted to be or the kind of program I felt was right for me as had saved my life before. I am only sharing this to say 2 things: 1) if something you did before isnt working now, that is okay. Try something new. We change, we grow and its okay to move forward if you cannot go back. 2) its okay if a program that has helped others does not speak to you, and it does not mean that there is anything wrong with you. Find your group, your people & your thing. This place has been my people, and that fear that it could not be possible witjout AA (I have said before I have so much love for this program and what I learned there as the stepping stones for me) & i have met all kinds of people here doing it so mamy ways. All with a common goal. There is no one answer, no one way though I do believe such an important part of this recovery game is COMMUNITY.
I need you folks, and im proud as shit to admit that. I need my people, I need my team & I hope that I can give a bit back to rhis beautiful community. Thank you so much for beinf there for me, believinf in me & sharing your days with me XO.
Edit: oh and thanks for acceptong me for who i am: the one who does not correct typos
Had a great day! It snowed a little more but people were acting like it was a blizzard. Canceling after school stuff, closing early. I went shopping after it stopped snowing and it was fine. Supposed to be another 3 inches overnight so they already canceled school! Covid made this world so soft
Anyway, I never knew how easy spinach artichoke dip was to make until an hour ago. My first try looks amazing I’m about to go crush that. Tootles
Day 16. I want to thank all of you who check in here. As I read your posts, I feel inspired. I feel not so alone or ashamed and I feel hopeful. Thank you all!
@Mindofsobermike This totally sucks. I hope you you find a good way to sort this out. Don’t lose your patience cycling friend.
57 no binge, no sugar
13 UPFs
13 dairy
Hormones are taking their last dive before my period and everything is . Headaches, body aches, nausea, bad mood, low energy, can’t concentrate, and all kinds of cravings.
But I’m smarter this time. I won’t take a deep dive into hating all of it. Instead I’m going take a hint from @Butterflymoonwoman and focus on self care: be friendly to myself today, take care, practice compassion, try to be patient.
Like with everything else: one day at a time.
Late to bed and early to rise makes a (wo)man need stronger coffee! It does give me an extra hour on here though so not all bad.
I do business trips once or twice a month for a couple of days at a time and they have always had licence to drink excessively (compared to my home excessive drinking behaviours ). I can only imagine the state I must have been in going to work on those days after an almost all night binge at the hotel every night. The next trip is on Sunday to Wednesday and while I usually do not hang on to guilt and shame because I don’t think it helpful to healing and recovery. For this first trip sober I will keep that guilt and shame close for a few more days to remind me of why I want to stay sober on work trips.
I am working on my plan today so that it is written out and will purposefully visualise it over the next few days until I leave. Rehearsing ordering a lime and soda, eating dinner and immediately going to the safety of my room and attending an online meeting while I knit. Having a bath and getting into pyjama’s straight away. How happy I will feel waking up in the morning after going to bed sober. Enjoying the lovely breakfast and coffee in the hotel before going to the office. Something I could never do before as I spent all morning trying not to dry heave. How productive and attentive I will be in the office. Giving my full time and attention to the people I am there to serve. Grateful I have been given the opportunity to do business trips right and fix past wrongs by suiting up and showing up.
Checking in with 12 days sober. Almost 2 weeks! I’m grateful for the hangover-free mornings, the better nights sleep and the improved intimate moments with my partner. Ever since being sober, our intimate life has gotten better and more frequent. He also comments on how I just seem brighter as a person - I’m so grateful for him and all his support. Have a good day everyone❤️
My turn for being sick… I knew its coming. The worst part is, because of kids, recovery is much more difficult, they have no mercy I can’t have proper rest and usually I’m sick longer than I think I would be if I could just rest for a day or two. Grateful today is Thursday and Sacha is at school till 15, twins in playgroup till 13, I’m gonna have some rest. I just hope they won’t feel so sick as me, maybe MAYBE they won’t be sick at all
Other than that all more or less fine.
Yesterday my friend video called me, drunk like shit. Geeezzz, drunk ppl are so annoying. Ofcourse after some time I used my ultimate excuse - sorry, can’t talk anymore, have to go to kids In my drinking times I was more of a drunk texter than drunk caller, I don’t know what is worse
Busy night shift last night so wasn’t up to much today. Did a few errands this morning then a nap at lunch for a couple hours.
Back at work tonight. Quiet so far. Did some training in amongst other work. Hoping its better than last night
I slept long and I feel rested. Good. Worried about Luna as she seems to have a hard time sleeping, which is not right for an old kitty lady like her. Well, she’s asleep now. Fingers crossed.
I had a good final evaluation about my trauma group therapy yesterday. It was me who set the agenda and had the lead. We talked about the future and stuff I still want to achieve in my personal life and what I might need for that from therapy maybe. And we all came to the conclusion that that particular sort of therapy is no longer it, but it did certainly serve its purpose.
Going to do some culture this morning, visiting two museums I’ve been many times before but I never grow tired of. It’s cold but that’s OK. I see some blue skies which is always nice. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love from Oude Kerk.
@Cat10 Feeling our feelings is hard but at least we get to work through them. As you are. And making steps like this is also possible only through sobriety I feel. Life’s not easier sober but so much better. Hugs. @Mischa84 Hoping for a speedy recovery Mischa. @Eke Good to see you and huge congrats on 2000 friend. @Mira_D 6 months! Yay! Excellent! Congrats!
Nice to hear from you again @Eke and congratulations with those numbers!
Long time no see!
Fingers crossed you feel better soon @Mischa84 I know mothers never can have a sick day, it’s not easy to rest. But I hope you find some time to.
Well done for the 6 months @Mira_D
*Day 1948
Had a busy day yesterday. Worked, got home and changed clothes and went for a long 1,5 hour car drive to a fancy restaurant.
So I was in your neighbourhood @Mno , ate in “De Kas”. I never have had such good food before. It was a special occasion and the right place for it.
Today? A walk with a friend, visit a shop with hubby and son because they need stuff for their upcoming holiday. And maybe working a bit on my pendant project. We’ll see.
Have a good sober day all
Tres chique friend! It took time to grow, but I read and hear they have become very good now. Have to try them sometime soon. I guess you were celebrating your new moderator status here? Glad you enjoyed.
I’m about to go crush that. Tootles 
. Headaches, body aches, nausea, bad mood, low energy, can’t concentrate, and all kinds of cravings.
). I can only imagine the state I must have been in going to work on those days after an almost all night binge at the hotel every night. The next trip is on Sunday to Wednesday and while I usually do not hang on to guilt and shame because I don’t think it helpful to healing and recovery. For this first trip sober I will keep that guilt and shame close for a few more days to remind me of why I want to stay sober on work trips.
I can’t have proper rest and usually I’m sick longer than I think I would be if I could just rest for a day or two. Grateful today is Thursday and Sacha is at school till 15, twins in playgroup till 13, I’m gonna have some rest. I just hope they won’t feel so sick as me, maybe MAYBE they won’t be sick at all 
In my drinking times I was more of a drunk texter than drunk caller, I don’t know what is worse 
and congratulations with those numbers! 
Glad you enjoyed.