@Noshame Cravings can FRO! @Ashley_luvz_starz Congrats on your 300! What an achievement. @Happy_Trails Clever thinking on the ID. Really like it. @JazzyS Good to hear your getting better. Downward spirals are always tough. The upward ones much more fun. @Onlywayisup7 Maybe some physical activities? Walking, yoga, some kind of sports? Nice self care stuff? Meditation? @Butterflymoonwoman Hugs and love to heal your wound friend.
62 no binge, no sugar
18 UPFs
18 dairy
Today everyone is out of the flat and I hope to have a quiet work morning. The snow and sludge are gone from the streets and Iāll be able to take my bike for grocery shopping.
I have a class later and am curious on the progress the kids have made. Flappy Bird is not as trivial as it may seem.
Looking forward to a nice long yoga class in the evening. Last session - hopefully - with my old mat. It feels like yoga on skates, itās so slippery.
Day 213! Up early as on a work training event which is a 90 minute drive away. Strange dreams last night. Just havif a coffee before I get dressed and head off, listening to a bit of chet
Thank You No I have no depression. I feel very happy every day. I had deep depression many years ago from Panic Attacks. It started when I was 19 years old. Doctors first thought it was pre-heart attack. At that time not many really knew what panic attack is. I never heard about ir either. They were looking for my problem for many days. Doing all kinds of tests. I started experiencing the same feeling of dying every day. Every day I was dying. Then they gived me Clonazepam. Ohā¦
That was such a big reliev. I then started to drink it every day and other drugs. I was unable to funtction without it. Later I needed more and more. I then started to feel worse and worse. This was when they wanted to put me into hospital. I started to get very depressed. Numb. Derealization and Depersonalization started. It lasted for 4 years. Rest of a story I told beforeā¦
In a way its hard to explain. Higher Power saved me. I started to heal day by day like a miracle. Ofcourse there was a lot of hard work too. I think for everyone there itās own. I just like to point my message to everyone - Seek and You will find! (there are no other words and better message to send.) No symptoms, no drugs for about 13 years now. Tho after I was cured years or two later I was almost killed, but thats another storyā¦
You are one of those for us too @zzz
I might not understand all of your videoās (), but when you talk as you do now Itās something I read with interest and compassion. Itās difficult to express myself in the words I have in my head and put them into English. But you are here for years now just like me and I see you are growing and developing into a strong person. I might see it wrong because I do not know you for real.
But this is such a āgoodā thing! You see what you need and also the part you have to be carefull with. Again thatās growth
Itās such a good place here that we can open up. Itās helpfull for yourself but also helpfull for those who read them like me.
Many miracles happened in my life. All I can do is to feel blessed and thank to my Higher Power! Itās been 13 years I am Panic Attacks and Depression free. No drugs. Tho few years later I was almost killed in very brutal event - again only miracle saved me. Now I am only battling alcohol addiction and the bad memories. Sometimes I feel weak, but I always know Higher Power is here for me and everyone of Us! All we have to do is to Believe, accept the Gift!
7 āAsk and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
*Day 1952
Sometimes somerhing small can be annoying as
There is an alarmclock at my neighbours buzzing all morning. Our houses are attached so I hear it loud and clear. No big problem and there is nothing I can do about it beside controlling how I react on it.
Thatās the case in a lot of things in life.
We cannot change it, but we can make life easier sometimes by our own coping system.
One of my old coping systems wasnāt a good one: drinking.
I learned a few new ones here and Iām going to use one right now. So Iām going out, getting a walk in nature into the calm.
That alarmclock isnāt going to spoil my day.
This photo above is not mine but from my hubby. He and our boys are in Morocco right now enjoying a holiday. He sended it this morning, they slept in the desert. I wish I was there too. It looks so sereen!
Have a good day all
update alarmclock It was me myself and I! It was my own alarmclock on my sportwatch lying on the table before me.It has been buzzing since 6:30
day 18! had my first day at my new job today, which went pretty well. just a general orientation mostly so iām sure iām gonna learn a lot more in the coming weeks.
also had a long conversation today with somebody else i know in real life who struggles with addiction, and helped kind of clarify for me why ive been so frustrated with many of my friends here; people just generally feel really uncomfortable talking about substance abuse, especially at my age. itās really isolating and on some level iām sick of the tension you can feel whenever drugs and alcohol gets brought up. i have a very good support network but i wish some of them would just be willing to talk with me about this stuff sometime.
And yes I agree with You.
Here is some my point of view on this.
This is animalistic part of human nature. Instincts. People tend to have theese so called Hierarchy Scales in their most primitive part of the brains witch also have the function of fear and anger - Fight or Flight mechanism. We have this Herd Mentality programmed in us, when we seek to follow so called Alpha principles, or at some point what is being programmed as Alpha in our Society. Fear is instinct. In deep past, looking from animalistic perspective - those who are at far end of the Herd - is eaten by the Predator.
Adding to your point by my perspective of view - those who are weak - are being downscalled by other in āāthe herdāā - they are afraid because of the same principle of predator I explained above. There is no need to judge that attitude of some, as I believe people do this wihtout bad intention - it is lack of knowledge, lack of awereness, lack of conciousness.
Now we are not animals. We have this capability to rise above it, rise above those instincts and go though this.
I agree with You.
I like to add, that for me I always look for what CONNECTS us - and I look for similarities. YES - we can always find points to disagree. Maybe our points of view might differ, but I believe we have the same perspective. Itās trully not that hard to see if the individual is pointing towards Light or the darkness. Sometimes we might disagree on the language, but we need to learn listen with our Heart. Maybe our language and words we use are different, but I see the same goal.
One of my excuses for drinking was while I never got a restful nights sleep when passing out, I always got a solid 8 hours plus. But the next night my sleeps were heaven, restorative, deep, REM, the whole package.
That last great restorative sleep was now 17 days ago.
My frustrations with sobriety always start kicking in when I canāt get a great nights sleep.
Still no intention of slipping and falling back into my regular programming of booze then good rest, but man I am missing that great nights sleep the day afterā¦
Good morning everyone! Checking in on day 53. My doggo had another surgery yesterday, another full day at the animal hospital with a lot of information thrown my way for treatments, a bit overwhelming but whatever I have to do for her I will. I am grateful that I am sober which allows me to care for her properly during this time. She is always taken care of me in her little ways and my focus is keeping her comfortable and taking care of her during her road to recovery.
Have a great day everyone! and
6am for me and hoping to lay down and get some sleep soon. Today will be my day off of work this week. And I have made plans to take the kids to the movies.
Then Iāll try to get the laundry (for 6) caught upā¦
Hopefully Iāll get it all done. But honestly, if I only get the kids to the movie and fed, itāll be enough. Iāve been running on fumes for way too long.
One day at a time we all get to make the choice of doing something that makes us heal or doing something that hurts us.
Today I will choose health.
Love yāall!
Congratulations on all of your days clean.
PS: I saw @XXIX on a thread recently hi!! Hope you are doing well
It took a while before my sleep patern went normal What has helped me trough it back then was using a melatonin supplement at night to help me sleep. In my country it is something you buy in a drugstore ore supermarket. Maybe itās worth a try?
Thank you. Iāve tried Melatonin before and had the most insane and intense dreams whereas I thought I was losing my mind even after wakingā¦ I did not like them at all.
I have sleeping pills for occasional use, but I rarely ever use unless I really need to be rested for next dayā¦ while Iām in this sobriety journey I have committed to take as little meds as possible other than vitamins and required pills for diabetics, cholesterol and BP.
But I do appreciate your insight
Day 70. Up and made it to work. No issues once I got to work nobody said anything, I think the only one who was worried about yesterday was myself. And honestly yesterday I learned a lot from my self. And I sure will not be putting myself through that type of stress and worry again. I did make sure I didnāt sleep all day, I woke up around 9 oāclock and went to Walmart and did my grocery shopping, I also did not sleep all day Sunday, Saturday yes I did sleep a good majority of the day and yeah Iāll start trying to work on that harder. Im excited to go home with my girls this weekend and do some sledding and my girls not new nail kits with the little light that cures the nails. And Iām excited to do their nails for them, Iām gonna call it daddies works it twerks it nail salon and have some fun with my girls. One of my buddies from my home town got a hold of me last night and was talking about wanting to be sober, I had already planned on hitting a meeting Friday in my home town when I got there so I asked if he wanted to join. Iāll see if he will still like to when I get there. Iām gonna be honest I do think I might start holding off on some of the stuff I post, especially about my depression and sleep schedule. Honestly itās not anybodyās business but mine and my therapist and counselors. I post it here bc yes I do like advice and I do want help and Iām posting it bc simply put it helps me get it out and try to learn from things even if I fall into some of the same routines. I know Iām the only one who can work on and fight my depression, hence why Iām trying medicine and this and that. Itās a struggle man, something Iāve battled since I was a young kid, I know I need to just get my ass up and do something, winters are always the hardest for me. Maybe some more bike rides. Like Iāve said Iām not really worried about working out, and Iām not sure what types of groups or hobbies Iād be interested in. Like Iāve said many times in here, part of me yearns for bonding and then other part of me wants absolutely nothing to do with other people. Naturally I am a Introverted person, Iāve never been one to follow people and like groups with people. Anyways please everyone and any one always feel free to please give me advice. If I donāt respond itās most likely bc I just may not know how. I struggle with comprehension sometimes and just simply may not even understand what your even trying to say or I just donāt know how to respond. But yeah hereās to continuing to try and be the best me I can be. One day at a time, regardless of what path I choose I will get through my struggles
Thanks menno. You are very right and I do agree. Some days I work on it better than others, sometimes I think the medicine is supposed to do all the work and push me out of bed. Itās hard, something I wish I didnāt have to deal with. But I will continue to work on it and get through it. Thanks for being here and understanding
Yes melatonin can give that sometimes as a side effect. Bummer that that is your case
(Ps I work in a drugstore ).
It took me 2 ore 3 months before my sleep was normal. Maybe ānormalā isnāt the right discription because I sleep way better then in my drinking years!
Hugs and love to heal your wound friend.
No I have no depression. I feel very happy every day. I had deep depression many years ago from Panic Attacks. It started when I was 19 years old. Doctors first thought it was pre-heart attack. At that time not many really knew what panic attack is. I never heard about ir either. They were looking for my problem for many days. Doing all kinds of tests. I started experiencing the same feeling of dying every day. Every day I was dying. Then they gived me Clonazepam. Ohā¦
), but when you talk as you do now Itās something I read with interest and compassion. Itās difficult to express myself in the words I have in my head and put them into English. But you are here for years now just like me and I see you are growing and developing into a strong person. I might see it wrong because I do not know you for real.
and 
hi!! Hope you are doing well 
What has helped me trough it back then was using a melatonin supplement at night to help me sleep. In my country it is something you buy in a drugstore ore supermarket. Maybe itās worth a try?
).