Holy Shit!!!
Look at you clocking in with 6 months of sobriety!! 
Iām so excited for you Kiki 
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So happy for you on this
Have you seen this thread? Meditation for Serenity 2021-2025! (tips, tricks & discussion/ 4 years running woot!)
Stella started it with a few challenges. I was very leary about the 10 Day Mantra challenge, like 
I canāt do this! And I was pretty happy with what I was already doing. But, I got out of my comfort zone, because thatās what itās all about right? And now Iām chanting mantras whenever I feel like it. Walking the dog. Getting up before wifey. Going to meetings. And especially going to doctors appointments before they take my blood pressure. I know its significantly lowered my bp.
Keep up the great work. Happy 29
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Congrats, Kiki! Way to go!!!
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Checking in and making myself accountable on Day 5.
Heading off to go to the Foo Fighters Concert in Wellington NZ which is tomorrow.
Every time Iāve been to see them itās been a social drinking event so Iām going to do it differently this time and really be present!!
I know I can do itā¦. It will be amazing and Iāll feel great the next day because Iāll remember it.
Congrats to everyone alsoā¦. Youāre all Rock Stars!!!
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Day 53
Just got home, totally drained but had a good and fun day. After work we went bowling and had diner with the team. I didnāt think about alcohol at all.
When I got home I got greeted by son and dog. I cherish every moment with those two, I love them so much! Live, laugh, love! 
I canāt keep my eyes open, so gonna get ready for bed. Tomorrow Iāll visit my parents and sis and little nephew, looking forward to see them. But first: sleep 
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So, feeling disengaged from family because of their discontentment with my need to stop fostering these children. I gave in and called the foster team back and said weād keep doing it and Iād like to recant my request to stop.
Iām not upset with them because I know the reasoning behind their desire to continue but now I need to find ways to protect mental health.
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Concerts are way better experienced sober! I drank beer at a Rammstein concert and to this day i feel bad and stupid for not being fully presentā¦
You definitely can do it. Have fun Diana!! Let us know how it was 
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Day 711
Today has been pretty busy, well the morning was. This afternoon i had a chance to get in a short nap. Got woken up by a phone call. My sons nurse cant come in tonight so I will have to do the awake overnight shift instead. Not happy about this. But what can i do? No one else is available to work. Im trying to come up with a plan for this shift. Mainly bcuz of my eating. I tend to eat alot bcuz im tired. Thats a trigger for me. So trying to figure out a different way to approach this. Maybe drinking tea or snacking on vegetables and dip or something low cal so it doesnt throw me off. Idk yet. Anyway, just waiting for my son to come home from school. Then will make tacos for supper and relax. Hope everyone is doing okay today!
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What were their reasons to be discontent exactly? Ur mental health is just as important. Its hard to look after others to the best of our ability, if we arent well ourselves
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Finances are tight and without this Iām not sure weād survive where we live. The city I live in is the 5th most expensive cost of living across Canada.
The other reason is that if we were to give them up it is very likely that their sister would be separated from her brothers which is not at all what we want. We have the space to keep them together.
Weāll have to get creative to make sure that everyone is allowed to be at their best. Like external babysitters to provide some added relief.
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Thanksā¦. I hear youā¦ lifeās too short for regrets. Will let you know xx
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@LabLover222 -What an inspiring update. I am so glad that your brother in law pulled through. 
@Butterflymoonwoman - I donāt know about you, but when my life was its most chaotic and shameful, this kind of boredom was a dream. If it makes you feel better, I got a new vacuum cleaner and I am so happy. That is super boring. 
@GOKU2019 Take care! I canāt believe I purposely and regularly made myself feel so shitty. Dumb doesnāt even begin to cover it. 
@Mindofsobermike Some amazing self-restraint and personal growth in that update.
@Mira_D I hear you! It is amazing when you realise something deep about yourself that you never noticed before.
@JP123 Make sure to reach out if the ideation becomes more concrete.
@SoberWalker I could not imagine trying meditate in my second language. It would turn into study time!
@Scorpn Sending strength and peace. I hope you catch a break soon.
@CATMANCAM Good for you for getting to the gym.
@Cat10 Get back up on that sober horse. Unfortunately recovery isnāt a straight line for most of us. But you have realized that using doesnāt actually help anything, and abstinence is the best way.
@Dilettante Congratulations 
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Congrats on your half a year sober!
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Work kicked my az today
From 3pm to 4pm or 15:00 to 16:00 felt like a full day
Going to sleep at 3:30am didnt help in guessing
Ill sleep good tonight
Its almost 7pm or 19:00 and i can leave and get home to sleep.
I had a lot of fun at the online 3:00am meeting though
Im going for it again just prob not at 3am
Im not sure what time ill be online. We will see :).
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And congrats on the 30 days!!! 
Edit: hit the wrong emoji!
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Oh I love it! A new vacuum cleaner is always fun! i love getting new appliances or gadgets for the kitchen or whatever 
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Wow!!! Congratulations on 6 months!!!
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Oh dear that is so much to handle & on your plate. I appreciate your openness about your experience, and hope you can all find a smooth (ish) path forward whatever that may be. Xo
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Oh my today kicked my ASS!
Both kids were up in the night and usually son falls back to sleep easily, but last night he didnt wantbme to leave the room. I understand, because I was away last week and then worked late yesterday and the day before so he just misses me. Today I picked both kids up early, because of the ice storm and got to spend some nice time with him.
But oh man si tired and disorganized. I didnt get the packing done today, andbtomorrow volunteering in thebmorningbthen we head out around 2 for our little family weekend in the city. SIGH LOL
Nothing major but my body sure is tired, and hubby is feeling it too. Its a lot of cleaning with little ones and can feel very circular. I find I am less bothered by it, but he gets frustrated that things cannot stay clean. I feel like one day their lottle messes will end, and then they will be all grown upā¦these times just go so fast, and I spend SO MUCH time cleaninf I dont want to be in a constant state of frustration things dont stay clean. Itsā¦wasted energy? (Not to say i dont get frustrated at times!)
Im just tired, and I do feel the anxiety of the pending trial. Its like the butterflies in my stomach have gone up. A bit of a ringing in my head. And still not quite wrapped my head around that she is gone, and thats how her life ended. I know life is hard, but I am just a bit fucking tired of the tragedy and the tonedeafness of our federal/criminal justice systems when it comes to domestic issues. There is simply zero understandinf that a system created in the reflection of male power MAY be causing a problem in effectively dealing with how that power poisons all involved. I just want some justice, and one day to know peace. And I know, no matter the outcome in court it will not bring me a sense of either. I will have to find my way towards them.
Keep well & safe my friends xo
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55 days in the bank
Checking in a bit early today, have nightshift tonight so safe to say I wonāt be picking up.
Went to the gym this morning, sorted dinner for my partner as sheāll be home late after her shift then dropped the kids at their grandmaās for the night.
Will be leading some training for some of the crew tonight so did a little bit of study of the things weāll be covering tonight.
Looking foward to dinner and maybe a quiet night, unlikely though haha
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