These are great to hear, turnarounds in others lives that correspond with our own. An instant support group.
Well done.
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Day
261 no alcohol
192 no vapes or ciggs
31.80 no form of marijuana
Keeping your wordā¦ very important. Basic level of communication and builds trust.
Today i will NOT pick up
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@frank68 Way to go Frank!!! 100 days is amazing work ā keep this awesome momentum going 
@kareness So sorry for the bad news. Grateful that you are finding a healthier way to deal with it. Sending you strength and love my friend.
@wahtisnormal 12 days is great work Zoe! Going for a walk in fresh air can help. Possibly look into new hobbies that can capture your interest. Just need to remember that going back to drinking is not going to be helpful. Just keep working on that one moment in time. 
@acromouse Way to go with your 3 week milestones!! OOH ā I love that you are going clubbing tonight ā hope you have a fabulous time! 
@goku2019 ah man that sounds awful. Hope your family recovers quickly. Sending healing vibes!
@tryingthisagain 21 days ā yeah to 3 weeks. Yikes ā best of luck with that german roach.
@chevy55 Nicely done with 3 weeks Nick. Great attitude to focus on the here and now. That is all we can do. Keep stacking up the sober days
@forrestkump loving the 2ās ā keep this streak alive!
@jimz so lovely to read this today. Grateful that you were open with your friend and the two of you will be supporting each other on your journeyās 
@cjp So lovely to see you checking in CJ! So many positive changes in the past 20+ months. Love this for you my friend. You have been so vigilant and determined ā great to see how you far you have come in this journey 
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Sounds like you are having a hard day Alejandra. Here if you need support friend. 272 days and 4 days sugar free is amazing.
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Grateful you made it through your overnight shift Dana. Enjoy that latte my friend. I do hope you are able to get some rest today 
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The brain zap 
Years ago an old coworker of mine told me she got laser brain treatment to quit smoking. She said the second she left, she never wanted a cigarette again, but she kept crying uncontrollably so she went back and they fixed that too. I still smoked, and drank of course, so I looked into it bc maybe it would work for drinking too. Glad I never found anything.
Now I wonder, what did they do to her? Part of her brainā¦gone? I know I was extremely emotional after quitting smoking, which is the natural response in withdrawal. So what part did they zap the 2nd time?! Were there residual effects to her personality? Itās crazy to think back then I would have paid anything to overcome my addictions, but what would I have learned? I prefer the road I took as well, hard as it was. Weāre stronger in the end Great work lady
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Good morning- Day 2 here. Last night I went to a Chamber of Commerce event at a Restaurant, tons of people, I drank water.
Couldnāt sleep (watched TikTok for 3 hoursā¦scrollā¦scrollā¦scrollā¦)
I still havenāt cleaned up the empty wine bottles and cig ashes- that is my goal for when I get home from work. I am sure that is why I cannot sleep- my home looks like an alcoholic lives there. Must take care of my home which does make me feel better! I did manage to take a shower today so that is good! I will not drink today. I will not smoke. My humongous water bottle is by my side and I have a lot to focus on at work- which is a good thing.
I did the Annie Grace/Naked Mind FB webinar yesterday- she had us to an exercise where we closed our eyes and pictured the future to 5 years from now, then 10 years from now. Look in the mirror at yourself. Look at your relationships with friends and family, your job. Then she had us go back to view ourselves when we were 10 years old. What would that 10 year old me think of me today? What would she think of me in 10 years. This was a powerful exercise. I found it helpful---- I have never done that before.
Rocking on in Day 2. I appreciate all of your kind words and support- thanks for being there! I donāt have anyone else to cheer me on. 
And especially to hold me accountable. I appreciate that very much.
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Checking in day 25 AF 
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Ughā¦ Iām struggling to not be venting these days as things keep piling up.
Respite this weekend is no longer proceeding as planned and is being delayed until at least next weekend. The light at the end of the tunnel is it will eventually happen.
Iām going to dive head first into work for the next three days spending as much time away as possible. I need it. Definitely feeling the loss of āfamily timeā.
Positive note, doing this helped me to pay off over $5000 in consolidated debt in one shot yesterday. That helps my mood a bitā¦ But not a lotā¦ And honestly that is a bit concerning for me. I have a therapist appointment next week and I wish I could have two back to back because I donāt feel an hour is enough.
Edited portion: Iām a strong believer that positivity attracts positive things, and the reverse for negative thinking. I recognize that Iām in a bit of a slump right now and my check ins have not have the most positive reflections. I feel like right now it may be a good time for me to take some space and time away from posting while I work through my stuff. I donāt want my posts to have any kind of negative impact on others. I appreciate all the support you have all given me through these last few weeks.
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Checking in on 1 year 10 months and 6 days.
Going for a walk tomorrow with my daughter, looking forward to it 
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Another day clean from Weed, gambling and alcohol. Really depressed today. Not much to say. Have a good Friday
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ROUND 135
Founding myself pretty close to relapsing. Canāt say I feel bad. I feel good. Very energetic. Maybe I feel that Spring in the air. Lots of energy in me wanting to explode. Just did pretty intense leg workout. Maybe its hormones. Feel like wild gorilla in the jungle. Donāt really want to imagine how it would look like while drunk 
Now going to fight some people in Mortal Kombat 
Agggrrggggghhhh
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30 days free of alcohol
24 days free of THC
Today I woke up with a lot of anger about my job situation. The quick summary is I quit my job 5 months ago after giving it a year (the only time I have ever done this without having another job lined up) because it was a very toxic environment and I thought at the time it was the right decision to protect my sobriety. (I ended up falling deeper into addiction but ultimately it led me to this place of healing.) Anyway, Iāve never had any problems getting a job, what I do can be done in any industry or type or org. But here I am 5 months later, Iāve probably applied to 300 jobs, and I either never hear anything, have a recruiter reach out and then get ghosted, or get a rejection email. This week especially Iāve received at least one rejection email almost every day.
Iām not looking for advice, and honestly itās annoying when people tell me itāll turn out ok, or āI went through something similar and then this great job came along blah blahāā¦ I know itās well intentioned but it just doesnāt make me feel better and sometimes pisses me off. I try to tell myself thereās a reason for all of this but every time I get a rejection email I feel like it chips away at everything Iām trying to heal. Itās really, really hard not to read into all this or think it means something about me and my worth. I really want to stop but thatās not a choice, itās not an option for me to put this on hold. I have to keep applying and applying and getting rejected and rejected. It feels like an abusive relationship, and the other person in this relationship is the world 
Iām so angry but thereās no one to be angry at.
Anyway; just wanted to get all of that off my chest. I was guided this morning on a practice of screaming into a pillow and took advantage of that. Iām really really scared and feel really really hopeless and I have to accept those feelings and just sit with what the world is bringing me right now. On the positive side, Iām feeling much better physically and Iām so grateful to be sober. I have absolutely no desire to pick up a drink or eat a gummy or do anything that will stunt my emotional growth, and that is a gift, as is this community and all of you! 
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So what is your addicted mind coming up with this time to make you drink friend? What excuse has it thought up now? You know itās bullshit. Everything about giving in to the idea of a relapse is bullshit. Enjoy mortal kombat. Donāt believe the hype in your head.
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I realize the way I phrased not wanting to use so I ādonāt stunt my emotional growthā makes it sound like thatās my only reason I could DIE or hurt/kill someone else if I pick up again. What I should have said is I want to sit in the difficulty of this moment/time and feel all of it so I can continue on my journey
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Sobriety is as powerful and wild as it gets man! You are not afraid to show up and feel all of life! You are not hiding behind anything! You got this 
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I dont have any excuse. I feel good. I just got used to drinking. Going to city and having a blast. Not because of feeling bad. Ofcourse when i am too drunk, past traumas kicks in (but thats another story - I am working on that).
There is no need to make any question why I think, there is more need to get used to new reality. Itās just old ways of thinking kicking in.
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133 days af
26 days vf
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Thanks for sharing all that. I am a big fan of pillow screaming.
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