2599 days. Still depressed today about my son’s F from yesterday and it is carrying over into my work day. Then I get scared about my job security if I am depressed and can’t get much work done. Hopefully it is just garbage in my head - I assume it is - and nothing real.
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Congratulations on you 30 ODAAT’s Lauren.
That’s a win right there!
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200 !!
I’m rubbish at checking in on this thread. It moves so fast 
But couldn’t let this day go without giving myself a shout out 
Happy Friday lovely people X
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Still sober, I’ve been trying to work out what’s been making me feel nauseous and giving me headaches like I’m hungover. Been going on for ages on and off.
By process of elimination, it looks like chocolate and maybe caffeine are the culprits.
Early days -12 days no caffeine, 5 days no choc- but I’m brighter in the morning, with nausea and headaches mostly gone too. Sleeping much better also
Going to try a few other things but I’m feeling good and that’s helping my mood too. 
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Checking in at 30 days. I wondered how people see their sober future? Having drank since I was about 12, so well over 30 years I can’t quite get my head round never drinking again. I want to but can’t picture it. Probably doesn’t help that I don’t know anyone who doesn’t drink.
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Yay to 200 
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@Dazercat thank you!!! 
@SassyRocks I will definitely be keeping a pillow nearby…
@MeSober you got this, just remember the pain is part of the healing, just take it one day or one hour at a time…
@Butterflymoonwoman love the new profile pic! 
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Amazing!! Congratulations on your 200!! 
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Im having a really tough time. I just feel like im exosted and work is not going so well. Im exosted. I just have 1hour and 30min about left. I can make it. I know i can make it but this is terrible.
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Day 54
Had a long but good day with the family. My sister lives in the cutest little village near the sea and they have a working Dutch windmill, we visited it and saw the mill in action. I bought some flower, so it’s pancakes for lunch tomorrow.
Went to the hospital with my dad. It’s hard to see my parents struggle and getting old so rapidly. I am very grateful though we can spend alot of quality time together these days. I am grateful for flexible work hours and my car, it makes it easy to visit my parents.
I think we’re heading towards some tough times the coming year(s) and I’m worried for them, but I know we will manage.
My sister made lasagne and they had wine. I was a bit bored with my crodino, but it was fine. She knows I don’t drink and she didn’t offer me wine. I’m happy to be sober. I am glad I can enjoy myself without alcohol and be present. It’s 11.30pm and I am exhausted but looking back on a day filled with love and care.
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We are here for you Noshame. Maybe when you go home, get lost in this thread. I’m being tempted by the little devil, so I came on here to get strength and communicate with good people. Anyway, maybe dedicate a half an hour when you get home to participating in this great networking source and be feeling better really soon. 'Rooting for you.
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Sorry to hear about your parents’ situation. We are here for you as a shoulder anytime you need us. 'Good that you are not resorting to numbing and instead staying even keeled.
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I think most of us have or had that question. For me it took a long time quiting and relapsing to understand I will never be able to drink ‘responsible’. Every relapse I feel stronger about an alcohol free life and I can imagine it clearer too.
Most people with years of sobriety under their belt say you don’t have to worry about the rest of your life, just don’t drink today! What helps me also is we have to make a sober life more desirable than a life with alcohol. Reading inspirational stories here and checking in everyday also helps me to stay sober.
30 days is amazing, just keep going!
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Hooray for your 200 days!!!
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Thank you! The support in this community is really amazing, it is so nice to be able to vent and feel understood here. Don’t know what or where I would be without it
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Hey Violagirl. Dad had me as his little wine taster at age 8. by 10 he would give me a beer to split with a friend. By 18 and in the navy I was drinking at a bar every night and driving over the limit. drank up to a 12 pack a day till 37yrs old and then my body stopped working so well. Diarrhea every single morning started as first sign. Then one day, while working in my shop, I collapsed from no reason and altho I hadn’t cried really ever as an adult (I’m a typical dude), I cried for no reason for 4 days straight. Yep, the dude who had been self employed at that point for 12 years and kicking ass in business had a nervous breakdown. Quit partying at that point. Called parents and had them fly out to my town because I needed my dad to help me keep production going in my one man shop. 'Didn’t touch a drop for 7 years. Then fell in love with a woman I had known remotely for 12 years and the woman drank like a fish, but I thought it would be fine because I was totally strong and sober. Peer pressure from her got me drinking again. Here we are 24 years later and drinking right about 4 beers a night pretty much the whole time. At-fib, which is the lower chamber of the heart fluttering rather than pumping for about 6 years wasn’t enough to get me to quit again. Got it down to just under 4 beers a night and only thing is then I would wake up every night at 230am covered in sweat. Desperate, I once again looked up AA online, but nothing really seemed like my style, then out of shit luck, I stumbled onto this forum/thread. I’m now at day 16 and feeling good about it. It got me out of a depression I had been in for 50 days around day 12 and I’m finally going to bed early and waking up like a normal person and loving the productivity. But I have no friends in this town. They just all turned out to be users and untrustworthy, and what is friendship without trust? So lonely today and kinda tired of being so successful in my sobriety because I have knocked out tons of major projects that were desperately behind schedule. Can’t even think of drinking, but I am thinking of drinking, but not “actively” is how I would describe it. So here I am writing to you to get it out of my system and tell you that I have been there and maybe with hearing my story you will understand that we are all going through the exact same f’n draw. Alcohol makes me feel like I am not lonely anymore because I watch a funny movie and laugh my butt off, but it is a bad plan and I need to get back to the guy I was for 7 years sober when I never even considered drinking again. I am not there yet, so as for your situation, I’m in the exact same boat and I can’t see the horizon with never drinking again in it, but I don’t want to die early from alcohol related complications, so I need to stay strong and this support group is my ticket. I hadn’t gone more than 9 days once in the last 15 years, but with these folks help, I have made it 16 days if I make it through today sober. Maybe something in there helps you understand that we all understand your plight. Stay strong and keep checking in is the advice I got the day I joined, and from the first reply I got, from SolarEclipse, I was told to keep checking in so that others could trust that I would be there for someone else in need (implying rather than checking in only for myself), so I thought that was really insightful and it is an awesome responsibility to add to my life and way of thnking. When I feel weak, I say to myself: get on that chat thread and help someone to take my own mind off of considering drinking myself. So far so good. Keep in touch with the group is my advice. Not only can we be there for you, but visa -versa also applies, and it is empowering.
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Day 712
Today has been interesting and not in a good way. Not only am I running on like hour 35 of barely no sleep but Ive had massive cravings all around. My eating is horrendous today. I managed to do okay during the awake overnight shift but then during the day, it just hit me. So i had to reset on my binge eating timer.
And THEN the cravings for my DOC. Oh my 
I know its bcuz im tired. I know its bcuz im all out of sorts and all off of my routine. I didnt get to the gym today. I really should have so that i kept my routine. Even if it was to basically sleep at the exercise machines haha (of course Id actually not do that). I just needed my schedule so that everything else in my life today didnt become a mess. Which it absolutely did.
All i did today was go to the mall to get a few things. Watched some makeup tutorials. Tried to sleep but by the time i was ready to do that, i had to wake up to get my son from the bus. I really HAVE to figure out a plan for my days when we have no homecare for my son. I couldnt take my meds last night bcuz they make me tired. Im not sleeping. Not eating well. Not exercising. Like every single time i do these shifts, it throws me off completely and then im a mess. Im just grateful i dont use drugs anymore. And im grateful i have homecare tonight for my son. Sorry for the vent. But i feel all out of sorts today.
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Thank u so much! I normally dont like my picture but this one i dont mind haha
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Just 1 min left and i get to go home
Rest
And
Recover
I houestly dont know how i did it
Someone who has worked here 10 years said to put one foot infrunt of the other and pray
I did that and the rest came naturally
Going home now
Be back soon
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How are you doing? Work must be over for u by now.
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