@Noshame Great job! You really persevered. I hope you can get some well earned rest now.
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Triple digits again @Frank68 !! 
Congratulations Frank 
Hundred days and nights sober in your pocket!
@Kareness I have 3 children and one of them failed important stuff at school loads. Not that he couldāt do it, itās a very smart guy.
But because he couldnāt get himself motivated to do something like learning or put effort in it anyhow. It fucked up my days and we tried a lot to get him moving. Extra support from school, try to motivate him trough conversations, change school. And the Covid came when he just had started his higher professional education. So only at home school 
It was unmanageble, he quit school and made more houres at his side job. Then the new school year started and he was willing to try again but after a few months he quit again.
Long story but what I want to explain is that I had to let go a bit. The stress about his school I mean. I had to be there fore him but Iām not in control of his actions, only my own!
So I focussed on that, be there for him give him all he need what I can to support him at school. But he has to do the work and I had to protect myself from let it ruin my day ore more.
My son left school seemly for good and found a job he liked in a factory. They offered him education. So now he started higher profecional education again and the employer pays. My son is very motivated today and more important he is finally happy. So one way ore another, your son will be fine too. Help him with the things you can, but protect yourself and let go of the rest.
Itās difficult to give control out of hands. I know, still working on it in different areas.
I use the serenity prayer as well to keep me out of the control āthingā. Glad you havenāt drink Karen, And you are noticing what the impact is of
your reaction to his failed exam. That is where the change begins
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136
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Treasure hunting ore burying a body? Now Iām curious 
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Feeling empty today, so I donāt know what to write. 
Still sober.
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Day 13
Today went well overall 
bit of an urge here and there once the evening hit but it was manageable and quickly forgotten.
The boredom is still lingering, but not as bad as it was yesterday. Still found some ways to enjoy my evening. Made more crafts, watched TV, took a nap, relaxed with a shower and spent time with my cat.
Excited for two weeks tomorrow.
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No, Its a box digged out. Maybe it simbolises what is burried deep inside? Or inner undergrounds? Or is it a treasure hidden?
What treasure? 
You know me I will not tell. 
Box is closed for nowā¦
What is the key to open it? 
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Emptiness is so hard. Iām sorry to hear youāre feeling that way. Tomorrow is a new day, and what matters is youāre putting one foot in front of the other and staying sober regardless. Thats incredibly admirable, youāre doing amazing! š«¶š»
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66 no sugar, no binge
22 UPFs
22 dairy
I like the numbers 
Went to a club with a friend last night. Had a blast. Great music, very nice welcoming safe place. My friend was tired early, so I got earlier home than planned. But I want to go back next Friday. I can imagine the club becoming my Friday evening place.
Today we will have a friend over for music and singing. Iām also looking forward to a long relaxing yin yoga session in the evening.
The day ahead looks bright.
May you day be bright and peaceful 
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Fawkā¦
I swear, I canāt do anything right when It comes to pleasing my wife. She yells at me for not getting out and working (because we have other things going on, Iāve been sick, fostering has tuckered me out, etc)
So today I bust my ass all damn day, come home specifically to have some family time with the kids and watch a movie then head back out to make more money, because Iām following her financial plan, and I get in major shit for working.
Iām honestly getting fed up with the whole friggen thingā¦
Done.
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Day 1134,
Another 5 hours sleep night. There might be something I donāt like sharing, because my thought says it would be arrogant and other things might make me vulnerable. I shared it between the lines sometimes maybe, but never my true self about it. So Iāll give it a go, since it keeps coming back stronger after discussing the report from the neuropsychological centre with my schema therapist.
One of the things is that Iām highly intelligent, which of course should be a good thing. But it never has felt that way for me. I have always felt as an outsider and a lone rider. Never really fitted in and have never really felt that someone really understood me. I struggled in high school, doubling two classes. Nobody really took notice. No one saw me as stupid, on the contrary, but nothing changed. I was screaming for attention inside and showed certain behavior to get attention, having grades all over the place. Never ever did I receive any appropriate boundaries, or maybe I just crossed them with flair. Also screamed it to my dad, see it vividly before me how I shout at him with everything I got that they donāt understand me. Donāt know at what age, but I was young, to young.
During my high school time my alcohol consumption increased, but honestly I think I was already a full blown alcoholic. My tolerance was already high, since at home I was allowed to drink one small bottle of beer a lot of the evenings. Of course I soon manipulated it to get two bottles a night. I took my time with them and see myself taking small zips so I wouldnāt get without any. My physical dependency and tolerance was forged at that time.
Never knew were to go with my feelings. Didnāt know what to do when girls liked me. My parents never talked about those things of life. And of course how I felt about the relationship between my parents, made my thought say I never ever wanted that. Unfortunately it didnāt say: āyou can do it differentā. I turned to the bottle each time. I once went to a bar with friends where a girl was who had a crush on me, and I on her. She even send me a letter (damn Iām getting old 
). When a friend of her made her aware that I was there, she made a drinking gesture to him. My heart sank, it must have been the first person to have noticed I was an alcoholic and was sensible enough to walk away.
To be continuedā¦maybe bit long for this thread 
. Thanks for reading this far.
Have a good day 
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@PinkyP @SassyRocks @RosaCanDo @JazzyS @Dazercat @Mno
Thank you all for the lovely messages
Eric, yep starting 201 as I write this 
Have a lovely weekend guys X
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We canāt be complicit. 
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Thank you lovely 
X
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Congratulations on the 200 Louuuu. 
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Thank you so much X
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327
Itās the weekend! Iām starting it with a very gruelling spin class this morning. Nothing else planned. Whatās in the cinema atm?
@Louloubelle congratulations on your 201 days
@JazzyS congratulations on your 401 days
Iām really getting the hang of being fashionably late to the parties these days 
And if real life parties focus a lot of alcohol, I quite often donāt turn up at all anymore and donāt feel bad about it.
@zzz stay connected my friend, reach out if you need to. And keep on owning when gaming. I found my aim and tactics and generally keeping my cool while gaming improved a lot with being sober.
Love to all of you here. You are my tribe, my support and I am so grateful for each and every one of you.
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Thereās a crazy amount of similarities between us Rob. Thanks for sharing. Makes me feel less alone in some of the stuff I feel alone inā¦
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345
Holy! I did not realize how late it was! Whoops
Well, I slept a straight 8 hours and had so much energy I cleaned all morning until I realized I was hungry, around 2. Ate and showered and then daughter came and went and I took a nap around 4. Too late I think.
I was planning on seeing what my friend was up to but then I noticed it was 6:10 and I could make it to the 6:30 Friday AA meeting that I never get to go to bc of work. Itās the only meeting that gives chips for every single month so I figured I should make 11 months official. It was great.
A man at my table started by admitting that he had relapsed after 20 years in the program. It was his first night back after 3 years out. He didnāt even want the 24 hour chip bc he was so ashamed, knowing all the old timers in the room. He admitted he had strayed away from the program and itās practices. He also said that drinking was exactly the way he left off. Miserable. Crazy that itās the same for us all. He was so hopeless and full of regret. I told him he didnāt lose those 20 years, he only lost the last 3. It isnāt starting from scratch. Itās putting in motion what he already knows works.
Seeing newbies is a good reminder of where you donāt ever want to be again. Seeing someone who fell after all that time is a good warning that weāll never be out of the water. Stay as close to the shore as you can people. If youāre not paying attention, you could end up in over your head All the best!
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