Hey Lauren, it really sounds like u had a rough night Very emotionally draining im sure. Im glad that u and ur wife sort of made up. Sounds like it was an intense day for both of u in different senses. Where u both had alot going on
Now i dont know if ull be able to relate, or if this will help, but I used to feel this âemotional blanknessâ when things got very intense emotionally. Id almost sort of âshut downâ, like it was a coping strategy to help me deal with what i was dealing with. I would get that âI dont careâ attitude along with that (which was another old coping strategy for me). And its not that i truly, deeply didnt care. It was my mind trying to convince myself that I didnt care, so that things didnt hurt as much. But in all reality i really did care. Id get these âemotional hangoversâ the following day after a very emotionally tense day. I still get them, especially if I argue with my husband. Its just so emotionally draining. Wondering if this feeling ur experiencing is something like that?
That feeling of emotional blankness does go away. Once things settle down abit and u get back to ur normal routine, it should go away
Really wishing you peace and calmness thruout ur day today friend. No matter what, dont pick up
Day 56
Not feeling too good again, nauseous, tired and a headache. Itâs a bit frustrating⊠Iâm going to bed early again and hopefully feel better tomorrow. Have a good sober day warriors
Iâm still here, but really struggling with my depression and itâs hard to find the strengh to⊠well, anything. But Iâm sober and dealing with this shit without using any poisons.
Day 27 AF I had a slight wobble earlier the first time this month but i thought about how iâd feel tomorrow and the feeling of having a drink soon passed.
Feeling okay today but have been thinking a lot about how I find it hard to be intimate or vulnerable with someone since my last relationship and even then I struggled with it. In my only real relationship my partner did have an STD and cheated multiple times. He always wanted a threesome and I feel like I say this to men to please. I have been tested a few times but for some reason I still feel gross and dirty and like Iâm not desirable but I never judged him for it so why am I judging myself so much. I guess again itâs related to the stigma and things ppl say about it. Much like addiction and mental health which I also struggle with which as a result I guess is where a lot of my self loathing stems from. Trying to work through it and like myself again but itâs tough. I feel worthless, embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I feel trapped in this body of mine which again I think is where the suicidal ideation starts to come from. Can anyone else relate to this? I feel pretty unhinged right now but not going to use and try to work through these emotions.
Sorry if this was an overshare. Wishing everyone strength today xo
Hey friend, i completely get where ur coming from. I dont think its over sharing. In fact, i applaud u for talking about it bcuz this can be a subject that is often kept in silence. And the emotional, mental, and even physical effects can be long lasting.
I rarely talk about my experiences when it comes to how i felt with regarding STDs. They were awful experiences having to get tested constantly and treated for them bcuz of my old âline of workâ or because of my ex (who did exactly what ur partner did to u). I remember the internal feelings i had and how it clouded my view of myself and effected my relationships with other men. I want u to know that ur not alone. If u ever want to chat more, u can always message me on here You are a beautiful person and what has happened to u, doesnt define who u are
Thanks Dana, that actually makes a lot of sense! Iâm glad this is a temporary thing. I donât think Iâve really experienced this since before my drinking days because I definitely would have picked up by now. So much to learn about myself. Thanks again for the support
Checking in. Spent today with my partner and got my car cleaned - sheâs a beauty then his dog Pudding decided she wanted to join us on the bed so decided she was going to use my puzzle board as a pillowâ:upside_down_face:
@hidden 27 days is no joke Chris â you are doing an impressive job with sobriety and working on your you physical therapy. It is a healthy way to release your tension and built up anxiety over urges. Keep doing what you are doing. The social aspect of life can be rebooted â grateful you are prioritizing your sobriety. you will make 50 look good my friend â sober living tends to make us age backwards @wahtisnormal 2 weeks sober is fabulous Zoe! Sorry that you are feeling sick â hope you get better soon @vikingsfan Sorry about your mood my Tea â lovely to hear that you are practicing gratitude. I do find the gratitude practice really helps setting my mood right (even on those days that I have to dig really deep to find it). We are here if you ever need to talk it out or process the uncomfortable feelings â we can always offer a ear or shoulder. Hopefully you can also find someone in real life (therapist or sponsor) to talk it out with. I do believe that it will get easier as we add tools and practice living life on lifeâs terms. @pattycake 200 days is amazing girl! Way to go with your sober journey!!! So glad you are here with us @tryingthisagain so totally understand all the systems in place and the calculations done on smoking / drinking â WOW so much time wasted. The early days of sobriety I really had to change up all my daily rituals â ie shopping on different days/ times, avoiding some routes and gas stations (would pay at the pump or go to Sams club), find activities to keep myself busy so that I did not find myself with idle time. Sending you much strength. We can get through these rough days â they do get easier @soberwalker That is a beautiful quote! Grateful you will have a chance to ventilate again We most def need this. Sending you love and hugs my friend. @jules000 Do check it out â Al Anon is a group of people dealing with living with addicts (addictions of any type). As Eric also mentioned, our thread here also helps with coping with loved ones dealing with addictions. @mesober Glad you are setting those reminders and listening to them. Completing day 3 is awesome. I do find that this community is a life line for my sobriety. Hope to see your continuous check inâs @noshame Hey Matt â you did great with your longest time of 30+ days and I am grateful to see you jumping right back on the track after your slip. I know its hard but try to see what caused you to pick up (you know nothing good comes from it and it makes you feel like shit). Hopefully learn from this and find ways to avoid it in the future. I have faith that you will beat this beast @pamela wonderful job on your 1 week + of sobriety. Hope you feel better soon.
@catmama23 so sorry Laren â sounds like a lot of emotional chaos. Grateful that you are here unloading with us. No need to let it fester. I donât know what is or isnât normal in life let alone sobriety. We need to be aware of our mental and physical state and keep working towards healing (not getting sucked into the abyss). Much love to you dear friend. @seizetheday way to go on identifying the wobble and navigating through it Hannah. 27 days and going strong!!! Keep that great strength going @jp123 So wonderful that you were able to put your feelings into words and share with us. I appreciate your honesty. You are early in your sobriety and I know the beginning days really fill you with emotions and being clear headed gives room for the mind to think. I think you are a beautiful woman and hopefully with time and work you will see the beauty within yourself and shed the loathing / suicidal idealizations. You are turning your life around and living a healthier lifestyle. Do not let anyone make you feel gross about your past (especially yourself). I think we can be our hardest critics. Keep working on yourself love â you are doing a great job
Checking in on Sunday afternoonâŠ
Got to have a lovely visit with my mom this morning Going to get ready and see what the day has in store for me. Took my sweet time catching up on TS while enjoying some TV and coffee. Love laid back Sundayâs with nothing pressing on the horizon.
Wishing all your sober warriors a wonderful addiction free day / evening. Sending you all so much love
Thanks. Im most depressed when i first wake up and it gets better as the day progresses. Feels like every day my brain is âresettingâ very weird feeling
5 days weed free. 2000 days alcohol free. Played $25 on a slot machine yesterday while i was shooting pool. I did not spend any more than that even though there was an atm right there and i played pool for 5 more hours after. Im going to lose my new job. Whatever i guess.
Very emotionally draining im sure. Im glad that u and ur wife sort of made up. Sounds like it was an intense day for both of u in different senses. Where u both had alot going on 
I had a slight wobble earlier the first time this month but i thought about how iâd feel tomorrow and the feeling of having a drink soon passed.
then his dog Pudding decided she wanted to join us on the bed so decided she was going to use my puzzle board as a pillowâ:upside_down_face:
