1266 days no alcohol.
731 days no cocaine.
246 days no vape.
11 days no binge-eating.
Last night I only slept for 3hrs, so today, every time Iāve tried to start my morning routine, (which starts with a heated eye mask and a meditation), Iāve fallen asleep. So instead of trying again, I am checking-in here, in a new attempt to not get behind.
Tomorrow I will be heading into the city centre for my pre-therapy assessment and paperwork, and Iām going to go there slightly earlier to try to find a present for my dad as itās his birthday on Friday.
I think the emotional blankness is normal, but also you have these symptoms going on not letting up on top of the exhaustion of not being able to sleepā¦and then the emotional stuff with your wife. Its enough to give anyone the fuck its. Unresolved health stuff, especially that effects our sleep oh my god it would drive me nuts. Sleep is such an important part of the recipe for my sanity (I know everyone functions differently!) But of that HALT business Hungry & Tired are usuallt the ones that I get me, and I like that I can point to that shit and be like okay Mira, take it easy on yourself. Get some food in your system, or get some sleep (not able to get sleep?) Then try to be easy on yourself and know that you going to feel off till that gets a bit of a remedy.
Hang in there. You got a lot going on. And good on you venting it out here. It never feels good to have the bad fuxk its! But it will pass, promise xo.
Super happy and beyond proud of myself!!! I couldnāt have done this without The Almighty above! Or the awesome supportive family Iām surrounded by daily. NEVER GIVE UP! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! ODAAT
Home again home again. Today was really awesome. Turns out it was a museum, it was a science center and it was so awesome for the kids. All kinds of fun stuff & we just had a blast. I love watching them just be in their element. So much of parenting for us I find is trying to allow them to just be, while also teaching to follow the rules. We not heavy handed disciplinarians, and I know people got a hate on hearing the words gentle parentinf (lol who TF named that) but i value the input from shit that deals with the issues of the ways generations before did things BUT ALSO learning from the prior gens too of what is good - like listening, being respectful, no not everyone wins & go thr fuck outside. I dont know, trying to find that balance is like trying to hit a moving target every damn day. The 2 yo is easy, because he doesnt have that intention yet, sure hes busy but at that age their defiance is different & you can deal with it (and allow it!) differently. My daughter now man shes the one who keeps me on my toes, shes a fullt formed human, her brain is working overtime and shes no baby anymore. Just want to do right by both of these beautiful beings, & our nephew.
We actually called my mom & nephew on video and he said hi to both his cousins (using their names!!!) This is all so new & Im just so proud of him. I was thinking we should make videos to send him, instead of just video calling because he lpves to waych things but he doesnt care for or engage with video calls.
Anyway, off to watch another murder show. I dont know when this started but my true crime spree has been SO DEEP. I know why, or i think i at least understand whyā¦but its so deeeeep lol. Xo. Fam & to another 24! Xo
Worked at 530 this morning so I had the afternoon off.
Decided I wanted to go to dinner at a new restaurant in my area. Everything was amazing. Best time out at a restaurant in a long time. Iām glad I went
Now Iām heading to bed.
Have a good night
Day 103 and closing a sober weekend. Day 5 of having covid and being isolated. Feeling much better and ready to get back to work tomorrow (masked). Ive had it several times and this time the tiredness wad the worst sympton.
My kid has a home schooling day today, and the electrician is supposed to check our wiring today too. Thatās going to be fun, especially if he cuts the power to the Internet router. Weāll see how this plays out.
No school for me today as well. Iām looking forward to the anticipated chaos . Letās test those breathing skills.
Wishing you good people a day of peace and freedom today
feel better soon š©µ
Good night 
. Letās test those breathing skills.
