Checking in daily to maintain focus #63

Day 1145,

Having a meeting tomorrow with someone to discuss job opportunities. Mentioned it a few days ago. I know from his LinkedIn profile it’s a nice guy with a lot of experience. Practiced the meeting a bit with my re-integration coach. Anxiety is kicking in, also working on the anxiety list in step 4. Don’t know why it surprises me a bit, but anxiety seems the thing I have been hiding the most. Alcohol gave me the bravoure, but it is a no go now. Geus it’s one of the things that triggered my drinking the most even more than resentment. Other addictive behavior is creeping in, but I’ll be mild for myself at the moment. Drinking is not an option.

Have a good day :heart:

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Cheking in. FML. Good nigth.

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Hello my sober twin :blush: sometimes the body need rest
Last week i gave this rest to my body and this week im more stronger.

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Checking in day 18 had a good day today, just been working mainly but an ok day. Only thing is I’ve eaten too much sweet stuff, but I’m just not going to buy any more now so hopefully that will be the end to that!

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Congratulations :partying_face: 18 days :blush: i also ate a lot of sweets during this period

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Day 7 - One week milestone, yay!

Feeling really good today. I was in high gear and got so much done. My sleep still isn’t great, but it was better last night! Tomorrow I’m definitely going take time to rest. I hope everyone else is doing well. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Hugs :people_hugging::people_hugging: I’m thinking of you.

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@Wakikki I hope your first session of EMDR went well :people_hugging:🩵
@YesNoMaybe welcome :blush: love your list :raised_hands:t2: congrats on your week :tada:
@OmiiNana welcome :blush:
@Charlie_C belated congrats on your month :tada:
@SoberWalker belated happy birthday :birthday: :balloon: :gift: :partying_face: enjoy your celebrations today 🩵 and I hope you’re happy with your tattoo now :blush:
@Billy85 belated congrats on your year :tada: :trophy: :star2:
@Violagirl belated congrats on 40+ days :tada:
@Steve92 belated congrats on 2+ weeks :tada:
@Clarity good to read from you and to know you’re doing well :blush:🩵
@Catmama23 belated congrats on 40+ days :tada: sending strength as you wait for Friday’s appointment :people_hugging:🩵 (‘The Emotion Ocean’ -love that!) I hope your prescription got sorted :crossed_fingers:t2:

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@aliennation welcome to the checking-in thread :blush: well done for cancelling, sounds like it was definitely the right decision to protect your sobriety :clap:t2: congrats on your days so far :tada:
@Mbwoman congrats on 35 months and another sober vacation :tada::tada:
@kj1477 welcome :blush: congrats on your days so far :tada:
@DanaM56 so happy for you getting to spend time with your grandchildren :blush:🩵
@zzz congrats on 150 days :tada: it’s not lost, numbers will come back. I love your check-ins, I hope you will stay :people_hugging:🩵
@HolySquid congrats on 11 months :tada:
@Forgive_Yourself wow, I love your dog, it looks like a big fox :heart_eyes: what is the breed?
@Lile01 welcome back :blush: congrats on your days so far :tada:
@Chevy55 sending strength 🩵
@Megan3 sorry for your loss :people_hugging::mending_heart:

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@JP123 I can relate to what you shared, sending strength :people_hugging:🩵
@Tragicfarinelli congrats on 40 days :tada: sending strength and solidarity :people_hugging:🩵
@Lisa-B congrats on 40 days :tada:
@Lastry congrats on 40+ days :tada:
@Juli1 welcome back :blush: congrats on 8 days :tada:
@Brian1965uk congrats on 450 days :tada:
@BrOKenWolf congrats on 800+ days :tada:
@CleanHeart welcome back :blush:

1276 days no alcohol.
741 days no cocaine.
256 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.

Monday I couldn’t stay awake all day or evening. Was craving to binge so let myself fall asleep at 8pm, then was awake from 1-5am yesterday.

I struggled to wake-up yesterday as well, but just about made it to therapy. She said I did really well in the session. This is the therapist I am seeing around my lack of boundaries when it comes to sex. I also spoke about another reason why I feel an aversion to re-engaging with it (it has been 587 days), in regards to addicting to it again, so she has now referred me to someone that offers support in that realm. In the meantime I am to practice asserting my boundaries in messages, to see how that goes, (instead of just ignoring people). I don’t even know if I want to re-engage with it, I can’t imagine not abusing it, and myself, in the process.

Just over 3 weeks left of Winter here in the UK, before Spring starts, and I can only hope my mood and energy levels improve as the weather begins to.

Sending strength and solidarity to anyone struggling, every one of your shares resonates with me. Let’s all stay connected. Together we are stronger. :fist:t2:

(I ran out of :yellow_heart:s around 30 posts ago).

🩵

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42 days free of alcohol
36 days free of THC
:seedling:

Oof yesterday was so emotionally exhausting. Today I have an emotional hangover, and because I was so upset yesterday I didn’t eat enough, and today I have the worst headache. Thanks @Misokatsu @JazzyS @Happy_Trails for the advice. They finally submitted the medication I urgently needed late yesterday. I am still waiting on the other one. The bizarre thing is the office manager (the only one I can communicate with) was like I don’t see that medication on your file, was that something you discussed with the doctor? So I had to explain yes, this is a new medication. Very strange that I have to explain to him, this shouldn’t be so hard, the doctor should be the one communicating and updating my medications and file. So, I’ve decided once this gets done I’m going to find a new psychiatrist. I really feel gross having to be angry with this person, but sometimes in life you have to get that way I guess. I will say that a lot of my suffering came from my own reaction to the situation. I have a lot more work to do on not being so easily thrown over by unexpected or unfortunate situations. I also think I was triggered because I felt like I was being ignored or made to feel crazy. Anyway, moving on…

I had a couple interviews this week and was shocked at how much “imposter syndrome” I had…. Felt very inadequate. I don’t trust my ability to read situations or people at all anymore. I really hope something works out:… one day at a time in all things…

Grateful to be sober today, to be present and learning from each experience, good and bad. Grateful to know this headache is not a hangover headache. Grateful for all of you!!

@Tragicfarinelli i hope you feel better soon :people_hugging: self love is something I’ve been working on a lot, having also experienced toxic relationships in my immediate family. It will be a lifetime journey, but I always remind myself that recovery is a journey, not a destination :yellow_heart:

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Thank you @CATMANCAM :smiling_face::smiling_face:🩵

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Thank you :heart:

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Thanks Cam :smiling_face:

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Welcome back @Juli1 good to see you around. You were missed. Glad you’re back with your 8 days under your belt. Congratulations :+1:

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True Zse! But sometimes I don’t know if I need rest or if I’m just being lazy. Next week I’ll feel better for sure :blush:

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Appreciate that @CATMANCAM :pray:

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You made a point Menno. I totally agree on your statement. I’m glad being part of this odd bunch too :pray:

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Glad you are here and still fighting for you!

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Thinking about all of you @Noshame
Hope everything is going as expected.

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