Checking in daily to maintain focus #63

Checking in day 37 AF :blush:. Is anyone else really hungry and craving sugar alot or is it just me? Since becoming sober Iā€™ve gained alittle weight where i was hoping Iā€™d lose afew lbs.

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The first three weeks for me sugar cravings were the worst. I donā€™t even like sweets Iā€™m more a savory person and I wanted Oreo milkshakes non stopā€¦ which is NOT like me I never eat ice cream. Now Iā€™m back to normal. I gave in to my cravings for the time and they passed.

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Had a really good day today! i work as a teaching assistant, usually with young kids with autism. today i was working with teenagers for the first time, and it was a mainstream school. I was nervous but really really enjoyed it! No cravings for alcohol at all, but my real test comes at the weekend. Feeling confident about it though!:heart:

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@zzz so good to see you back on track my friend. Grateful that you are going to stick around as this place just wouldnā€™t be the same without you. Much love to you :hugs:
@tragicfarinelli Congrats on your 40+ days love. I do understand the thought of ā€œIā€™ve been sober this long why the hell am I not feeling itā€. Sometimes I would listen to people say wow I feel so energized after a few days of sobriety and I was like I have months and still feel like shit LOL but I knew it is different for everyone and I would get there eventually. Iā€™m not sure if I had a epiphany but one day I just woke up and felt like I didnā€™t have that elephant on my chest and the subconscious need to fill any empty void. Tell that self loathing to take a hike or better yet push it off a steep cliff. Practice some positive affirmations as you are a warrior and need to be reminded . Glad you are continuing to fight ā€“ we are here right along side you :people_hugging: Oh love I just read your update ā€“ I just want to reach out and give you a massive hug. I do hope you find a way to go out of your comfort zone and interact with people. You are a beautiful soul and are loved. I do hope you start feeling this in real life. Please do not ever feel like you have to hold back or can not go deep with us here.
@Lastry LOL ā€“ I love it!!! It is huge to celebrate the milestones and 40 days is fantastic. Celebrating it by staying sober is a perfect celebration :tada: :clap: go on with your bad self! :muscle:
@Violagirl It does make it worse when going out to celebrate and not having great options to choose from. Is it possible to call ahead and see if you are able to bring your own beverages so that you are not limited to water? So excited for your 42 days friend. Is it your birthday?

So good to see you checking in Richard! You are thought of often and I am grateful that you are doing well :hugs:
@cleanheart Welcome to your day 0 friend. Do you have any in real life support that can help you stay the course as well? I think itā€™s a great idea to check in here daily ā€“ I find it really helps me stay accountable. Any time I feel like I want to cave I think of what I would have to update my check in with and that tape played forward does not seem worth it.
@seizetheday SO totally normal. Your body is trying to adjust to the lack of sugar intake from alcohol. I gravitated towards ice cream and I believe it lasted about 3 months hardcore and then another 3 months intermittently. Hang tough love ā€“ you will get the sugar cravings under control ā€“ be very proud that you are maintaining a AF streak!

Checking in on Hump day
Woke up with some energy and making the most of it. Have a busy day planned and i will take it slowly and tackle one thing at a time. I know its ok if i donā€™t get to everything today.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love! :heart: :heart:

Got this lovely notification yesterday :point_down: How awesome that iā€™ve been in your amazing company for one full year. Thank you for being so supportive and loving - making my sober journey that much easier.

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Thank you Jas

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Checking in on day 2 and a bit.

Feeling really nauseous, headachy, tired and shakey today :frowning: particularly rubbish after how much better my detox made me feel.

Going to shower and then stock up on some juices and pop. I did look at supposedly ā€˜non-alcoholicā€™ drinks, but theyā€™re all 0.5% ā€˜or lessā€™ - so, what, 0.4%? 0.1%? Thatā€™s not non-alcoholic! Grrrā€¦

Have my appointment with my alcohol counsellor tomorrow and I canā€™t wait. I really need to get started on medication.

Have a good day all :slight_smile:

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I know :face_holding_back_tears: But it has a good insurance. Bikes get stolen here very often, I lost 4 bikes this way.

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Congratulations Jaz, what an amazing achievement! :clap:

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Thatā€™s exactly it. In order for me to act out I have to begin pushing recovery out of my mind. If I keep recovery at the front here I think I have a better chance at gaining some sobriety.

And yeah, I have an accountability partner and a group I attend. I also have a sponsor who asked me to think about what are the thoughts, feelings and emotions going on inside me, especially leading up to acting out. I tried to share that in my check in. Thank you for your response, it means a lot to me!

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Day 2 is awesome work friend. Keep pushing through the symptoms will ease up and get easier. Smart move on stocking up with non alcoholic drinks.

The damn NA drinks with 0.5% can be a slippery slope at the beginning. Especially if they taste like the real thing. Try more things like seltzer water, kombucha, juices ā€¦

Grateful that you have made an appointment with your counsellor. We are also right here for you so do lean in if you need support. You are doing a fantastic job! :muscle: :hugs:

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Day 66
Just woke up from an afternoon nap. I could never sleep during the day, but I am just freaking tired and lethargic these days. I feel like the weeks fly by without doing anything.
I want to go to the gym, be active, go to the cafe for tea, see people, work more. But instead I do nothing.
Iā€™ll give myself this week, but next week Iā€™m gonna pull myself together because otherwise Iā€™ll get too comfortable hiding and thatā€™s not what I want.

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@Amy30 I feel that out of 100 folks here, 99 feel like outsiders in one way or another. Conservative estimate. Thatā€™s what we are. A bunch of folks from all around the world with similar problems, hanging out together on the internet. Honestly, weā€™re an odd bunch. Iā€™m odd for sure and thatā€™s why I feel right at home here. With you and with all here. And it makes me proud to call this odd bunch of people my friends. Weā€™re in this together!

@Tragicfarinelli Good times and bad ones friend. Keep going. Sometimes at a snailā€™s pace, sometimes like a jet plane. Weā€™re with you. Iā€™m with you. Iā€™m proud to call you my friend.

@you both It took me about four years of sobriety and recovery to truly begin to feel a difference. Hard work. The work felt good to do though, hard as it is. I still find life hard. 'Worth living though, very much so. Iā€™m making steady progress and so are you both. I see it in you both (as it is much easier to see from the outside).

And letā€™s go outside, all three of us! The rest of us too! Love you XXX

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Thanks Menno. Iā€™m sticking around. :pray:

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We love you back! Iā€™m so happy when I see you post even a quick check in lately. Iā€™ve had my own fleeting thoughts of drinking at times, usually itā€™s a desire to escape or numb. Itā€™s comforting when we get through those difficult thoughts/feelings by using whatever tools and techniques we have available. Love to hear about your kiddos. Sending hugs :people_hugging:

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@tifflynn07 thank you so much for the reply. I thought it was just me :rofl:.

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Thank you friend. I canā€™t believe they can class 0.5% as NA!! I shall be steering well clear of them.
I hope youā€™re well!

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Day 724
Got one errand done before heading to the gym. Im just waiting now to have my Body Scan done and then I can workout. Im definitly treating myself to a Tim Hortons coffee on my way home. Im feeling pretty good today I think. Sometimes I cant always tell haha But so far the day is going well. Hope everyone enjoys their day!

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After a couple rough pain and insomnia days Iā€™m feeling better. I will admit it makes me nervous to be starting a job soon and I will probably have to find ways to push through migraine pain, head back to the doctor, admit I need more meds or additional treatments, and probably have a frank conversation with my new employer. Luckily the hours we set are flexible, I think, are on a trial basis, and 4 hours a day is quite doable, but I want to be reliable, too. However, there are ways to find reasonable accommodations, also. Starting work again after so long is exciting and nerve wracking all at once and Iā€™m trying to be cognizant of old habits where I pushed down my feelings, avoided them or numbed them. Not just with alcohol, but other avoidant behaviors. One thing I can get excited about is wearing proper office casual clothing again! Itā€™s going to feel weird not living in athleisure/sweats/jeans/t-shirts/comfy clothes! So I have to go through my wardrobe here soon and go shopping (ugh).

Chiming in here with @Mno - @Tragicfarinelli heā€™s right. I believe itā€™s part of the nature of what brings us here that contributes to those kinds of feelings, I do like the word ā€œmisfitā€ and identify with that perfectly! Fact of the matter is that communities, whether online or in person, do sometimes form cliques or connections based on special interests and thatā€™s normal but it can feel like being left out. Thatā€™s where I remember itā€™s within my power to engage as much or as little as I want to. And it helps to know we arenā€™t alone in those feelings, too! :heartpulse:

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Day 234. Still fighting the good fight.

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Thanks for the sympathy @JazzyS. You canā€™t take your own drink sadly - even worse they do amazing alcohol free cocktails which are definitely not sugar free. I mean how dare they :laughing:. However, the food is amazing and theyā€™ve just launched a new menu, so overall Iā€™m looking forward to it and have a sense of pride that I will be sober.

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