I know 
But it has a good insurance. Bikes get stolen here very often, I lost 4 bikes this way.
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Congratulations Jaz, what an amazing achievement! 
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Thatās exactly it. In order for me to act out I have to begin pushing recovery out of my mind. If I keep recovery at the front here I think I have a better chance at gaining some sobriety.
And yeah, I have an accountability partner and a group I attend. I also have a sponsor who asked me to think about what are the thoughts, feelings and emotions going on inside me, especially leading up to acting out. I tried to share that in my check in. Thank you for your response, it means a lot to me!
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Day 2 is awesome work friend. Keep pushing through the symptoms will ease up and get easier. Smart move on stocking up with non alcoholic drinks.
The damn NA drinks with 0.5% can be a slippery slope at the beginning. Especially if they taste like the real thing. Try more things like seltzer water, kombucha, juices ā¦
Grateful that you have made an appointment with your counsellor. We are also right here for you so do lean in if you need support. You are doing a fantastic job! 
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Day 66
Just woke up from an afternoon nap. I could never sleep during the day, but I am just freaking tired and lethargic these days. I feel like the weeks fly by without doing anything.
I want to go to the gym, be active, go to the cafe for tea, see people, work more. But instead I do nothing.
Iāll give myself this week, but next week Iām gonna pull myself together because otherwise Iāll get too comfortable hiding and thatās not what I want.
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@Amy30 I feel that out of 100 folks here, 99 feel like outsiders in one way or another. Conservative estimate. Thatās what we are. A bunch of folks from all around the world with similar problems, hanging out together on the internet. Honestly, weāre an odd bunch. Iām odd for sure and thatās why I feel right at home here. With you and with all here. And it makes me proud to call this odd bunch of people my friends. Weāre in this together!
@Tragicfarinelli Good times and bad ones friend. Keep going. Sometimes at a snailās pace, sometimes like a jet plane. Weāre with you. Iām with you. Iām proud to call you my friend.
@you both It took me about four years of sobriety and recovery to truly begin to feel a difference. Hard work. The work felt good to do though, hard as it is. I still find life hard. 'Worth living though, very much so. Iām making steady progress and so are you both. I see it in you both (as it is much easier to see from the outside).
And letās go outside, all three of us! The rest of us too! Love you XXX
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Thanks Menno. Iām sticking around. 
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We love you back! Iām so happy when I see you post even a quick check in lately. Iāve had my own fleeting thoughts of drinking at times, usually itās a desire to escape or numb. Itās comforting when we get through those difficult thoughts/feelings by using whatever tools and techniques we have available. Love to hear about your kiddos. Sending hugs 
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@tifflynn07 thank you so much for the reply. I thought it was just me 
.
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Thank you friend. I canāt believe they can class 0.5% as NA!! I shall be steering well clear of them.
I hope youāre well!
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Day 724
Got one errand done before heading to the gym. Im just waiting now to have my Body Scan done and then I can workout. Im definitly treating myself to a Tim Hortons coffee on my way home. Im feeling pretty good today I think. Sometimes I cant always tell haha But so far the day is going well. Hope everyone enjoys their day!
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After a couple rough pain and insomnia days Iām feeling better. I will admit it makes me nervous to be starting a job soon and I will probably have to find ways to push through migraine pain, head back to the doctor, admit I need more meds or additional treatments, and probably have a frank conversation with my new employer. Luckily the hours we set are flexible, I think, are on a trial basis, and 4 hours a day is quite doable, but I want to be reliable, too. However, there are ways to find reasonable accommodations, also. Starting work again after so long is exciting and nerve wracking all at once and Iām trying to be cognizant of old habits where I pushed down my feelings, avoided them or numbed them. Not just with alcohol, but other avoidant behaviors. One thing I can get excited about is wearing proper office casual clothing again! Itās going to feel weird not living in athleisure/sweats/jeans/t-shirts/comfy clothes! So I have to go through my wardrobe here soon and go shopping (ugh).
Chiming in here with @Mno - @Tragicfarinelli heās right. I believe itās part of the nature of what brings us here that contributes to those kinds of feelings, I do like the word āmisfitā and identify with that perfectly! Fact of the matter is that communities, whether online or in person, do sometimes form cliques or connections based on special interests and thatās normal but it can feel like being left out. Thatās where I remember itās within my power to engage as much or as little as I want to. And it helps to know we arenāt alone in those feelings, too! 
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Day 234. Still fighting the good fight.
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Thanks for the sympathy @JazzyS. You canāt take your own drink sadly - even worse they do amazing alcohol free cocktails which are definitely not sugar free. I mean how dare they 
. However, the food is amazing and theyāve just launched a new menu, so overall Iām looking forward to it and have a sense of pride that I will be sober.
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Evening check in 
860 days
Getting ready to walk Polly, and then dinner and an early night 
Today has been a good day. I canāt complain.
Didnāt do much, nothing needed doing, itās been nice.
I have been reflecting on how far I have come, the hard times to get here, the ones still to come - how I can deal with them allot better sober!
Reflecting on change and trying to flow with it, after all itās going to change anyway might as well flow with it all.
Looking forward to electric blanket and a movie to fall asleep too soon.
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Day 1145,
Having a meeting tomorrow with someone to discuss job opportunities. Mentioned it a few days ago. I know from his LinkedIn profile itās a nice guy with a lot of experience. Practiced the meeting a bit with my re-integration coach. Anxiety is kicking in, also working on the anxiety list in step 4. Donāt know why it surprises me a bit, but anxiety seems the thing I have been hiding the most. Alcohol gave me the bravoure, but it is a no go now. Geus itās one of the things that triggered my drinking the most even more than resentment. Other addictive behavior is creeping in, but Iāll be mild for myself at the moment. Drinking is not an option.
Have a good day 
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Cheking in. FML. Good nigth.
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Hello my sober twin 
sometimes the body need rest
Last week i gave this rest to my body and this week im more stronger.
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Checking in day 18 had a good day today, just been working mainly but an ok day. Only thing is Iāve eaten too much sweet stuff, but Iām just not going to buy any more now so hopefully that will be the end to that!
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Congratulations 
18 days i also ate a lot of sweets during this period
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