Checking in daily to maintain focus #63

Good to hear!!!

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2 years 20 days
Feeling pretty darn good today. My morning iced coffee gave me the energy i needed to get all my errands done :slight_smile: i did a large grocery shop and then went to the gym. Did a back workout and 40 min of cardio. Then home to shower, eat a healthy lunch, and tidy up the apartment. Now just waiting for my son to get home from school. Mondays are mt fav day of the week, and today did not disappoint. Grateful for recovery and grateful for all those that are in my life today :heart:

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@Forgive_Yourself that does sound like a conflicting situation :people_hugging: sending strength as you navigate this šŸ©µ
@Sunny11 welcome back :people_hugging: sorry for your loss :mending_heart: and congrats on day 1 :tada:
@zzz that does sound like a good time to follow your dream :crossed_fingers:t2::four_leaf_clover:
@Noshame congrats on triple digits no THC :100: :tada:
@CleanHeart congrats on your week :tada:
@Mischa84 thatā€™s amazing! Well done :clap:t2: :running_woman:
@JazzyS thank you :blush: šŸ©µ Iā€™m glad everything went well with your momā€™s surgery today, and grateful yours was benign :raised_hands:t2:
@EarnIt I really hope things work out for you :crossed_fingers:t2::four_leaf_clover:
@aliennation congrats on your month :tada:
@Shel75 I can appreciate why that would bring up some strong feelings :people_hugging: sending strength šŸ©µ

1302 days no alcohol.
767 days no cocaine.
282 days no vape.
27 days no binge-eating.

The depression sat heavy on me yesterday. I didnā€™t get anthing done or do any of my activities apart from finishing the book I was reading, and reading the first chapter of my next one.

I have decided to hire a professional de-clutterer to help me create a less claustrophobic envirnment to live in. I know it needs to be done, but it just overhwlems me so much I canā€™t even start. I think if I had someone here for a few hours to help me make a start and a plan, then I would be motivated to continue the project on my own. I have made enquries with 2 companies and will see what responses I get back.

Therapy today went okay, touched on my mumā€™s death (she passed away when I was 8, after a 6 year battle with Cancer), and I thought I was going to cry but the tears wouldnā€™t come out. Also talked some more about my current difficulties with only being able to do things when I have some kind of a deadline, and not being able to restart habits if I miss a day.

I battled a lot with anxiety all day about it, but I managed to drive to my hometown and back, this afternoon, to collect my repeat medications.

My other therapy is tomorrow daytime, then in the evening I am thinking of joining the Safe Soulmates local group to go Bowling again, but I will see how I feel.

šŸ©µ

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Checking in. I feel slightly better. Today I had a blood test and worked a lot, didnā€™t really have the mood to do anything else. Now just relaxing a bit. I hope tomorrow I will be able to see things in a bit different light. One more day till my shot - usually I feel quite depressed on the days before, so probably my current mood is also partly caused by that.

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302 days of pushing on through.

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Checking in again as Iā€™m feeling isolated. Closing out Day 3 soon and thatā€™s a good thing. Looking forward to feeling better and re-joining life, but it might be a bit longer. Iā€™m still pretty sick. It is worth it to focus on recovery and nothing else for a while. Time goes so slowly early on. Iā€™m glad to be here, and it will be cool before long.

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Things will get better just keep taking care yourself. The beginning is tough and it takes time to rebuild. Heres to a better tomorrow :raised_hands:

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Day 21

Overall a good day. Strong workout and beautiful weather. Hugs to everyone.

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This is great to hear :smiley:

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Hey all,

Good day today. Some sad feelings, but thats okay. Those are normal. Having a really great time at work and making soem really good connections with the kids, especially the ones who have more of a challenge and challenging behaviour. I just love being at work, and thats a really good feeling.

Watching the show Time and I have always loved Stephen Graham, but Ive totally fallen inlove with him now. He is such a fantastically understated actor. I love everything he does. So nice to find a good show :slight_smile:

Workinf at home to get the evenings more balabced. Son was having a hard time at nights, so I wasnt able to get in with our daughter to rwad as I usually do. I have told her i love putting her to bed and reading to her, and Im working on gettinf back there :slight_smile: Had a few good nughts where my son wasnt too bad, and then getting back in to read to her and being firm that now I want to spend time with Papa. Just sitring in front of the fire looking at the carpet i cleaned with my new (not new i bought it months ago but just opened it lol) carpet cleaner. Its just a little one but it is SO insanely satisfying.

Xo every one & happy 25th hour xo.

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Congratulations on 3 weeks!!!

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I am so extremely proud of you! You are putting in the work and the results are showing! Youve certainly come a long way! Huge HUGE congratulations on ur 100 days thc free!

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Day 997. Wow what a rough day. Big problem at work. Iā€™m tired. Iā€™m really on edge. At least I am going to bed sober. Tomorrow is a new day.

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Good evening all. Day 928 today and just checking in after work. Last week of work here and then starting my federal job. Very excited yet feeling alot of anxiety towards this. I didnā€™t have a horrible experience from leaving the military but have some worries. Start on Monday so hopefully all these pointless ideas may go away.

Back to a bit of a depressing subject but weighs heavy on me still. Today is day 84 of day 90 that we were told it would take for the autopsy results. We called today and were told they had six days remaining and the pathologist was rerunning some tests. It left me feeling that they found nothing, which is defeating to say the least. Emotions have been everywhere lately but been using my breathing a lot now, and grounding to keep me calm. I havenā€™t been anywhere near perfect and have lost my temper on multiple occasions. But nobody hurt, apologies were made and trying to improve.

Hope everyone is doing well and am making it a point it continue my daily check ins. Miss you guys.

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Day 512

Today was a success! They both got all of their work done. Werenā€™t bullied or talked down to by staff or students! And even got to go outside and play because it was warm today! :smiling_face:
I did work this afternoon but that was ok because I got to be home for their first day of a school they could feel happy about :smiling_face:

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1732


I had a nice :bike: ride yesterday, even though I ran out of steam a bit towards the end of it. But I recovered well and now Iā€™m ready for a new work week which is only three day long :sunglasses:. Iā€™m sober and clean which is even nicer. Iā€™m never going back. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from the polder.

@icebear Thanks for checking in Drew. Good days and bad ones. Big milestone ahead. :people_hugging: :polar_bear:
@Noshame Awesome work on your clean time friend! Big congrats!
@Lighter Youā€™re here Marie. Youā€™re not alone. Three days is big!!! :people_hugging: :two_hearts: :people_hugging:
@CATMANCAM Having some professional help with decluttering sounds like a good idea friend. And I need deadlines too or nothing happens. Although Iā€™m ever so slowly getting better at ā€˜justā€™ doing stuff. One day at a time. :two_hearts: :people_hugging: :two_hearts:
@HillbillyChris Always good to see you check in Chris. Happy youā€™re here.
@Scorpn Love to read good news form you! Big hugs to you all!

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Thank you! Beautiful picture! Had some amazing weather here today, almost 60f. Very unusual this time of year for us up here. Take care!

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94 days
Good day at work. Steady, not too busy and got to spend some good time with some guys that I havenā€™t spent too much time with at work lately. Had some good laughs with the whole crew too.
Bit of a battle getting home with traffic, but just listened to a podcast and went with the flow.
Just home now, quick dinner of pizza for the kids.
Off tomorrow day before nightshift in the evening. Last few days have really flown by.

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383

Beautiful day here. Which means it undoubtedly will be crappy tomorrow. Canā€™t wait til itā€™s just consistently warm. Not too much happening besides the usual. Been a little unmotivated in the cleaning department but I did pick up a little. Gotta get some more never ending laundry done tomorrow :weary: Idk why itā€™s so hard for me to go do it. It just takes up so much of my day. Pretty soon I wonā€™t have as many days off so I really should be using this time better. Well, at least Iā€™m not filling my time with drinking. As long as I accomplish that itā€™s still a good day :smiling_face:

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Iā€™m here, Iā€™m alive and Iā€™m sober.
Day 6.
Did pretty much the same morning routine as yesterday.
Itā€™s so much easier when itā€™s daylight at 06.00 and not pitch dark.

I even decided to buy a make-up kohl pencil to try for next time Iā€™m in the city. Sounds like a small thing to do. But for those of you whoā€™s been around you know itā€™s not.

My old best friends keeps contacting me even of I asked him not to this time. Even had to block his emailā€™s. I donā€™t want to be his enemy, I donā€™t want us to argue, Iā€™m not mad at him. Iā€™ve just realized exactly how bad our relationship really is. And also, he keeps trying me to choose him and leave my husband. That wonā€™t happened. And now he accuses me of everything under the sun. Iā€™ve tried to talk to him about this for years. This time, I had no choice but to be blunt and say that I canā€™t see us as friends anymore. And yet he refuses to take a no or let me break up with him.

I donā€™t get it. But I guess thatā€™s really on him. Iā€™ve tried.

Looks like itā€™s going to be a cold day here. But Iā€™m still going to try and do some garden work. Out current garden looks like a chaos dumpster because all the inside renovations weā€™ve done.
A friends promised to help us clean the mess up, but he is in the middle of moving to the neighbor village so I donā€™t really want to bother him with that.

Wishing yā€™all a great day :heart:

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