Day 2 Update. The urges to use again are starting to come back. Gotta stay strong and remember why im here and how bad it is when i do use.
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Yes, people around here have said to play the tape forward when you think of using. Not the beginning, how it feels at the end. I realize it isnāt worth it when I do that. Hang in there, weāre with you.
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Day 59 AF
Day 177 doc free
Evening Check in. Been an emotional day. Allowed myself to rest. Participated in aftercare group. No in person meetings today. Feel guilty as itās a commitment I try to honour. Recovery first. No more excuses.
Good 24 all. Thankful for this community.
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Checking in day 67 
All good over hereā¦ not much to sayā¦ lifeās been busyā¦ Iāve been reading on here when I can but not as much as id likeā¦ waiting for things to settle down a bit
Much love to yall 
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that made me laugh out loud hahahahā¦ I sure do go on about anything and everything bwhahahahaaaā¦ Iām always fascinated when people actually read all the words! Shoot, they are too long for me to even proofread, Iād bore myself to death lol 
I donāt know why my counter is still on day 1379. I have it set to switch at midnight and I posted before midnight yesterday. Oh well, I guess Iām still on day 1379, thatās messed up man lol
I worked straight through the night last night and Iām determined to go to bed tonight. I just need to get my new little business off the ground. The up front work is massive, but eventually Iāll get buy with just a few hours a week or day depending on how I feel 
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@steve14 Woot Woot! That is awesome friend ā great work on 1 more month under your belt 
Smart in changing up your daily routines when you feel in a ruttā¦ hopefully with that and also the weather change soon will help you feel more purposeful
@catmancam oh man Cam ā grateful that you asked about the letter and are now having this looked into. Hopefully they will be able to help clear your lungs and your breathing will improve quickly 
Big hugs my friend- Iām so sorry that you experienced the panic attack today. Sending you peaceful healing vibes. I do hope you have a better nights sleep tonight.
@mischa84 a lot of big upās girl! Sorry that social media made you feel anything less than awesome. Fuck that shit! I stay away from all Social Media except for TS cause we just donāt have time in our lives for fake shit that will bring us down. Keep your head up Mischa ā you are wonderful!
Great to see you checking in my friend. Glad you are back on the sober track and working on your journey. I love what you wrote and we do gain knowledge and tools from our previous journeys. Rewiring the brain can take some time so keep working on changing up those habits
@ofmiceandroach Congrats on your 1 month Emma. I do enjoy the 0% Heineken or Guinness from time to time. Keep stacking up the days
@tragicfarinelli However you look at it ā itās awesome! Great work love ā keep it going
@deelzebub Great work Delia! 9 months straight stretch is amazing work but so is your overall sober time in the past 2 years! You should be super proud of yourself Absolutely gorgeous view ā thanks for capturing and sharing
@yelena Welcome back to TS and to the sobriety journey. Tomorrow may be a testing day and hard but we are here for you. Lean on us or whatever support you have as we can not do this journey alone. We got your back friend ā you are not alone! ODAAT
@newbeginning1 try to find something to keep you busy. I would play games on my phone, do puzzles, clean the house, go for a walkā¦etc ā whatever you can to not give power to the urges. You can get through this my friend ā One second at a time
@lotusflower I see you working on your journey and recovery Des ā you are putting in some serious effort. I know life happens at times and we canāt always do what we want the way we want it. I am sorry you were not able to get to the in person meeting ā hopefully you will have a back up for when that happens (on line meeting or double up on recovery in some other way). Just try not to be guilty ā this is what our disease thrives on. You keep rocking those days girl ā I see you coming up on 2 months ā canāt wait to celebrate with you tomorrow :hugs
Checking in on Thursday night
442 days free of alcohol and weed
857 days free of weed
Not much to report. I managed to get some work done and sorted out with accounting. Sales tax reports had an issue and finally got sorted out too. So feeling good about that as i didnāt think i would have the brain power or energy to tackle any of this.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
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Checking in Day 264 AF. Sleep well everyone
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Day 515
Tomorrow is their first field trip since before COVID!!
Only one week into a new school and we are all so much happier!
Yay
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97 days
Had a good nightshift last night so was an active day. Got a run in on the treadmill at work, then home to drop the kids to school. Gym, then even mowed the lawns.
Currently cooking dinner and just waiting for my rugby league team to play tonight. Round 1 of the season.
Winter sports (and sports in general) have always been associated with drinking for me as a player and a spectator. Not this season.
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386
Work was alright. I walked into a disaster tho. Apparently they were stuck there til 1am after the disco Saturday and didnāt feel like finishing their work, which was supervised by the other manager who has complained about work not being done when I close. If she had walked into what I walked into, everyone would get āa talking toā bc she wouldnāt shut up about it. Sheās the type who would rather get angry and complain to as many people as possible while the work sits unfinished. Luckily it was slow so it kept me busy my whole shift just getting the place back to normal. Funny thing is, when I left around 10 on Sat, everyone was saying how bored they were waiting for the disco to be overā¦hmm. I couldāve thought of at least 10 things to fill their time bc I did them today 
Our manager was made aware of this this time bc Iām sick of getting blamed for things not getting done by the same person who didnāt get things done.
Rest of my night was good. Just normal after school stuff. Getting tired already so maybe Iāll try and get some extra sleep. Goodnight 
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Checking in on day 70ā¦got to babysit my 4 month old great niece this evening and it was just heavenlyā¦gānight my fellow sober journeyers! ODAAT 
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Checking in Day 78! Today was a good day,
ā
Do you know what today is? Itās our anniversary 
ā
My wife called and signed up for our local radio station to give us a shout-out for our anniversary, upon doing that, we also were chosen as winners of a free lunch and free engraving on our yeti cups by a local company.
I took my 6 year old to the doctor this morning to revisit. He has adhd and we had to take a paper back that his teachers had to fill out about his attentiveness and behavior. We were prescribed some medicine today and we are on a trial for 9 days. Iām excited, he really is a smart kid, just all over the place, and if itās not something heās enjoying, he cant get into it and focus. Iām hoping for the best.
Oh yeah, I went into a local store to get laundry detergent, fabric softener, dryer sheets, and downy unstoppable beads and a few other itemsā¦well that ended up being $207 and 2 hours later. Hahaha.
My wife and I attended our local election forum, as my wife is the chief of police, secretary, so went to go and support chief and some of the alderman/alderwoman.
We then went out to eat at a nice Seafood restaurant in the area, maw maw watched the kids for us, and we were able to enjoy a dinner just the two of us.
āI gotta say, today was a good dayā
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Day 127 my time is building and my thought process has shifted.
I have a sporting event tomorrow where in the past would have triggered a drinking session that would in turn have seen me bingeing for 3 or 4 days. Itās not really even a consideration on this occasion. I have plans for post event that Iām looking forward to. Itās a sure sign for me that my mindset has shifted.
I think itās an important part of what weāre all doing here. Just white knuckleing it is tough and rarely successful. Bringing yourself to a place where your drug of choice isnāt the go to option is the goal for me.
Much love to all those struggling out there this morning, I know that might sound hollow or of little good to you right now but Iāve been there, Iāve danced with the devil but remember, this too shall pass.
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Iām here, Iām alive and Iām sober.
Day 9.
Woke up early to a frozen sunny world again.
Everything feels so much better when the sun shines. I know itās going to be a pretty warm day, yesterday we came up in + 6 degrees Celsius and had sunshine all day.
I spent almost all day outside in the sun. Had my 11 oāclock coffee outside, my husband burned in the new bbq grill he bought a few weeks ago. Heās been looking at it for years and finally we could afford to buy it. Heās been having it mounted in the living room just waiting for the sun ti come out.
Yesterday was the day. And weāre planning on trying it as mutas we can this weekend.
Itās one of those ceramic Kamado bbq grill things so for the first time even Iām also a bit excited because it says you can even bake things like desserts and pizza with it. Need to try that.
My 12 y/o has bought a new fishing rod, a casting rod for his own money. Iāve promised to teach him how to use it on Sunday. Heās only been using an angle rod before, so heās really exciting. Iām really nervous, donāt want to have any injuries.
Wishing you all a wonderful day,and a great weekend.
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Day 38 AF(mfA) 
I am okay. My feelings in the morning are sometimes strange and dark. Bathroom might help lol. Letās get ready for the day 
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1735
My three days weekend just started, and man Iām ready for it. Stretch and relax my body, my mind and my soul. My sink just got declogged by the plumber so thatās one thing taken care of. Have to take Luna to the vet for her solensia injection later. Do some grocery shopping in between. Read and write a little. That should about take care of today. Might do a longer bike ride tomorrow but weāll see about that. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. The weather this morning reminds me of a trip to Colorado in October 2019 and in particular of this hike outside of Ouray. Love.
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@Mno Enjoy your weekend and the superb weather.
@MrsOdh That grill business sure sounds exciting.
@Dustysprungfield Congrats on a shifting mindset. Iām struggling right now and your words are encouraging.
@K_S Happy anniversary! Sounds like you two had a great day.
@Just_Laura Good thing you told the manager and arenāt letting others blame you. I was always taught to shut up and do my work. So Iām my book this is huge.
@MrFantastik I hope you had fun watching that egg shaped ball being carried around 
@Scorpn Field trips are great. My daughter always gets upset when she misses one.
@JazzyS Congrats on getting back to work. It always makes me feel more like a sorted out kind of person.
@Tomek I find it sometimes very hard to reach for self-help tools when I need them the most 
107 sugar
5 UPF
0 overeating/binge
Another not so great night. I felt much better yesterday but could not stop eating in the evening. Just kept stuffing and stuffing.
Today I want to pay more attention to HALT, keep my food journal and try to be very mindful about eating. I hope I can find a way to find peace with food and eating again.
Iām thinking about avoiding cheese and dairy for a while as it seems to be involved in my overeating almost every time 
And maybe Iāll open some kind of accountability thread here, where I can dump my thoughts and feelings about food? Like a public journal? I donāt knowā¦
Today is grocery day. Iāll get my cargo bike and hit the stores 
The weather looks gorgeous. Full spring sunshine.
Iād also like to get back to my daily routine. I feel very much resentment about that but I also know that it keeps me from acting out. Maybe I could plan something nice for myself today? Instead of working myself into oblivion? Being an addict is difficult sometimes. Anyways, Iāll take life today as it comes: ODAAT
Have a great day everyone, in peace, kindness and freedom 
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Honestly, youāre so determined. I donāt know many people in my life - including myself - who would keep trying something for 4.5hrs! This is sheer strength! You are doing an incredible job friend 
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Good morning sober fam! Checking in on day 98. I feel tired again today, Iām sleeping at night so not sure what thatās about. Hopefully as the day goes on that feeling will diminish. I hope everyone has the most amazing day!!!
and
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Itās exciting for sure. Iām not a GrillMeister but my husband loves it.
Donāt know anything about overeating/binge and Iām allergic to dairy so my tip might not help. But a common weight loss tip is usually to eat enough during the dayamd have a satisfactory supper/ dinner with dessert and all if thatās what you like. That way youāre supposed to be less likely to eat something extra, like snacks later.
Hope youāll get a wonderful weekend.
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