Day 669 AF
How difficult are those days when crossing paths with people you have wronged when in active addiction.
The inmediate feeling is to want to hide yet I briefly said hello today, and have taken a bit of the anxiety with me, but as it all is, one day at a time should make it better.
Good day everyone
Day 4 has been difficult but havenāt had the urge to drink.
Went to the opticians today, and have had an urgent referral to the hospital because they had concerns about my optical nerve.
Also was happy because i worked 2 shifts this week so had an extra bit of money, but had spent Ā£100 in the opticians so almost back to square one.
It is what it is. On the bright side, my partner is cooking tea for me on Sunday which is something nice to look forward to 
Day 31 AF
149 doc
0 ciggarettes
Hey Talking Sober family. Checking in. Feeling a little numb. Yet hopeful. I trust that all will work out if I remain sober/clean. In a valley but can see the light.
Signing papers for debt consolidation on Monday. Starting overā¦educating myself and disciplined to ensure I donāt get into this situation again. Not all on me my ex has a lot to do with my debt and loss of car yet I am in charge of me and my choices. I choose not to be a victim anymore. I am a survivor. I will survive this and come out stronger in the long run.
Hope everyone has a Strong and Serene 24! 
Day 67 AF check-in 
Nice to see you back Jenny 
Checking in on day 43 AF, thanks for being here sober community!
@steve92 Ah man I would have a healthy fear as well. Could you go to urgent care instead of the ER? I donāt know much about if a scratch that does not break skin is problematic but it is better to be safe than sorry. Maybe some other members have a better understanding. Hoping you are well and this is nothing to worry about.
@catmama23 Fingers crossed ā hope all went well with your interview today. I hear ya on wanting immediate results ā I am the same way and working on finding
I Love this Des! Good for you ā taking back control over your life ā things are clearer and easier (even when they are harder) in sobriety. Keep on surviving my friend 
Iām hurting inside. My friend and I were supposed to get together. Unfortunately she did not respond the night before we had plans and then all morning the day of. I thought she had ghosted me. I thought I lost yet another friend. Hours later I received a message from her. She self harmed dangerously deep and was in the hospital. I felt for her in that moment. Iād been there many many many times and i have an idea of the emotional pain she is feeling rn. This makes my natural instinct to help kick in. I have been messaging her full of love and support. I really hope she knows just how much I care about her. Iām hurting inside bc as much as Iām proud of being in recovery and being sober, a twinge of me feels like somethings missing. Like i miss the experience and the feeling it gives me. When my friend told me what happened I instantly pictured myself doing the very same thingā¦ 
Ugh.
Thank you Jasmine. Your statement of things are clearer and easier even when they are harder ā¦in soberity ā¦this right here! You and others on this platform and in the rooms show how it is done. So grateful for the hope shots.
@Chevy55 I feel exactly the same, Iām day 40 today, Iāve been sluggish and lacking energy for a week now, first 3 weeks were extreme highs and lows but lots of energy and motivation, well over 20 years of abusing my body it takes time, canāt remember exactly but from 2-3 months things improve and get more stable
Day 1 
Really annoyed with everything. Frustrated with myself. Especially frustrated with my mom making it an absolute living hell trying to live in a functional, organized household. I canāt keep fing living like this, in this state, and it is so completely out of my control, its going to be like this until she dies. I wish i could just move into my own place, or throw away everything in our house. But the system is fucked and i need ro figure out a new career and where to start and then spend at least another 5 years gaining experience to eventually raise my pay enough to even tjink about being able to fucking afford to move out. Im just so frustrated with everything and it all feels so hopeless. Not only is it the physical state that i live in because my mom is a hoarder and the house is physically disgusting and chaotic and overwhelming and impossible to navigate, but she also has wired my brain to constantly be on edge, fight or flight mode going off at any second, shes so stressful to be around. Even after barely drinking the past couple months i havent even lost a pound, it just feels like nothing is in my control. I dont know how im ever going to turn my life around. I just want to give up.
146 days af
Happy to be returning home tomorrow 
You are absolutely right about this 
I donāt know your situation Zoe, but it sounds like it really sucks.
Iām glad youāre back here on day 1. Giving up the illusion that we have any control over others or things that happen was one of the hardest things for me to do. And Iām still working on it. Iām sorry that might not be much help. But the only thing I can control is my reactions to things going on around me. And drinking never made any of my situations better. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Day 38:
Quick check-in, nothing much to report. Life just keeps rolling on, but I feel content focusing on me and my health.
358
Had a really good day Work was lame but fine. Had tons of energy after and got some random things Iāve been putting off done. It feels good to have somewhat of a schedule again. Tired early. Grateful for that. Iāve got tons to do before work tomorrow night. 
out
My wife asked her doctor she works with and explained the whole thing and the dr said i am 100% gonna be okay. I still have horrendous anxiety over it though. I just cannot afford thousands of dolllars for rabies shots just to be extra extra sureā¦ they also said if the cat is still alive within 10 days then it didnt have rabies or wasnt contagious to begin with. The cat is very friendly and eating and drinking and using the litter box. It doesnt seem rabid one bit. I am just an extreme overthinker
69 in the bank
Up early, run with the dog before work. Good day at work, busy enough to keep the day moving but nothing too stressful.
On a 24hr shift tomorrow so can chuck that one in bank too.
one thing banged
glad u are pumping the tomorrow
