@Chevy55 I feel exactly the same, I’m day 40 today, I’ve been sluggish and lacking energy for a week now, first 3 weeks were extreme highs and lows but lots of energy and motivation, well over 20 years of abusing my body it takes time, can’t remember exactly but from 2-3 months things improve and get more stable
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Day 1 
Really annoyed with everything. Frustrated with myself. Especially frustrated with my mom making it an absolute living hell trying to live in a functional, organized household. I can’t keep fing living like this, in this state, and it is so completely out of my control, its going to be like this until she dies. I wish i could just move into my own place, or throw away everything in our house. But the system is fucked and i need ro figure out a new career and where to start and then spend at least another 5 years gaining experience to eventually raise my pay enough to even tjink about being able to fucking afford to move out. Im just so frustrated with everything and it all feels so hopeless. Not only is it the physical state that i live in because my mom is a hoarder and the house is physically disgusting and chaotic and overwhelming and impossible to navigate, but she also has wired my brain to constantly be on edge, fight or flight mode going off at any second, shes so stressful to be around. Even after barely drinking the past couple months i havent even lost a pound, it just feels like nothing is in my control. I dont know how im ever going to turn my life around. I just want to give up.
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146 days af
Happy to be returning home tomorrow 
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You are absolutely right about this 
I don’t know your situation Zoe, but it sounds like it really sucks.
I’m glad you’re back here on day 1. Giving up the illusion that we have any control over others or things that happen was one of the hardest things for me to do. And I’m still working on it. I’m sorry that might not be much help. But the only thing I can control is my reactions to things going on around me. And drinking never made any of my situations better. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
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Day 38:
Quick check-in, nothing much to report. Life just keeps rolling on, but I feel content focusing on me and my health.
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358
Had a really good day Work was lame but fine. Had tons of energy after and got some random things I’ve been putting off done. It feels good to have somewhat of a schedule again. Tired early. Grateful for that. I’ve got tons to do before work tomorrow night. 
out 
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My wife asked her doctor she works with and explained the whole thing and the dr said i am 100% gonna be okay. I still have horrendous anxiety over it though. I just cannot afford thousands of dolllars for rabies shots just to be extra extra sure… they also said if the cat is still alive within 10 days then it didnt have rabies or wasnt contagious to begin with. The cat is very friendly and eating and drinking and using the litter box. It doesnt seem rabid one bit. I am just an extreme overthinker
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69 in the bank
Up early, run with the dog before work. Good day at work, busy enough to keep the day moving but nothing too stressful.
On a 24hr shift tomorrow so can chuck that one in bank too.
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Checking in sober from Las Vegas. I’ve visited LV twice before while sober, so not worried about being tempted in Sin City. Grateful that I won’t be drinking beyond excess and feeling like crap while I am here.
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98 days without binge drinking, no alcohol whatsoever.
Last weekend I made some mistakes. I glorified drinking in my head. I fantasized about how good it would be to sink a few beers how much I would enjoy spending a few days drinking, visiting a few pubs, sitting down to a load of beers watching sports. I woke up Monday morning and I almost felt like I had a hangover! I’m not going to let that lie exist this weekend. If I give in or continue to allow the thoughts fester I’ll slip up.
I can clearly see now how it was simply the addiction trying to worm.its way back in the back door. Sneaky little one so it was.
This weekend I’m going to have my guard up, I’m watching out the corner of my eye and will catch it early if it shows it’s ugly face.
Have a great Friday everyone 
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6 days AF/binge drinking-free, and my first time posting in the check-in thread 
. The sickness and anxiety have been wild - neither has subsided. Though I did have a wonderful acupuncture session on Wednesday that took most of the nervousness away and made me feel more resilient. Mentally, it still feels like I’m sitting at the edge of fear, waiting for bad things to happen; horrible truths to unfurl.
I definitely have no desire to drink at all. So there’s one good thing.
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@Dustysprungfield Good job on recognising sneaky addiction lies. Every time this happens to me I’m astonished how long it takes me to recognise it as such.
@SY1234 Welcome to the thread! I hope you get better soon 
@Steve92 I hope your anxiety subsides soon! Fingers crossed everything turns out well with the cat.
@wahtisnormal Don’t give up! Is there Maybe one good thing in your life you can hold on?
@Jules000 I’m sorry you are in pain. Sending you love and hugs 
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35 UPF
1 overeating/binge
Yesterday I diligently used my tool set 
- regular breaks to check in with myself, self care, physical and emotional hunger scale, mindful eating - and things went so much better
No overeating, a good night’s sleep, feeling so much better today.
Today is going to be errand day including a hair cut appointment.
I’ll be going clubbing this evening with friends and I’m very much looking forward to it 
I can see daylight through my windows. A day of light, peace and freedom to you fine folks 
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Checking in again. Today was the first time i felt like drinking in a long time. . It was a pretty intense craving as i was walking through the store. Still 2011 days alcohol free. Stil weed free. Still gamble free. And hopefully rabies free 
sigh…
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I think you do not want to give up, I think you do not want to feel this way and I understand that completely.
I’m sorry you feel in a funk.
Try to focus on yourself and put you in the centre. You and recovery and build from there.
Make your own room compfy, clean and a place to chill. Can you make a list of little steps towards the life you eventually want? With steps towards work, a house ore other temporary place to stay, money, network, etc?
About the weight…I didn’t loose one bit in the first year of my recovery, I think I even gained some. Quit drinking gave me a sweet tooth and it took a while to get a normal eating pattern again.
Glad you are here, venting can be such a relief!
I hope feel a bit better next time we speak 
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Thank you i appreciate your response
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1707
Weekend! Happy with that. The weather turned very wet again
. Going to look into buying a smart bike home trainer today. I want to ride, even when it’s at home. Otherwise there’s enough stuff for me to do. Chores. See a movie. Visit my sis who has two kittens at home. Visit some more friends. Having a goodbye party for some colleagues tonight. And more. None of it will involve any drinking or drugging. No way. Have as good a day as you can friends. Sober and clean. Love from my little square.
@Steve92 This from the CDC: “Of the 24 human rabies cases reported to CDC in the United States since 2000, none have been associated with exposure to a rabid cat. The last documented case of human rabies from exposure to a rabid cat was in 1975.” Hope that helps a little.
@SY1234 Welcome the the check-in thread friend, and congrats on being sober for six full days! I’m glad you’re here. Better times are ahead just as long as you stay sober and start working on your recovery. Hugs.
@wahtisnormal Soberwalker gave you a perfect response already Zoe. I just want to say you’re seen here, and we’re in this together. You’re not alone. Keep building your own life one day and one small step at a time.
@JennyH I see you smiling at my post. Hi Jenny!!! So glad to see you lady.
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Day 230
Drove 7 hours from Cornwall to Rochdale, here for three days… For a wedding
Other than soft drinks the bar has only one none alcoholic beer… That’s poor for 2024.
Looking forward to seeing my family this evening
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@Noshame congratulations 
welcome to the world baby Archer 
🩵
@KrissyMae congrats on double digits 
@Forgive_Yourself oh my goodness 
thank you, and thank you also for the bonus photo 
@JennyH welcome back 
congrats on 2 days
@residentevil congrats on your month+
@Jules000 sorry about your friend and that it has been triggering
@wahtisnormal welcome back sorry your living environment is so stressful, sending strength and hope 🩵
@SY1234 welcome to the checking-in thread congrats on 6 days
1277 days no alcohol.
742 days no cocaine.
257 days no vape.
2 days no binge-eating.
I did online courses Wedsnesday and yesterday. Wednesday’s was okay, yesterday’s not very good at all, it made me quite angry to be honest.
Feeling a lot of sadness and guilt around the passing of one of my cats back in Jan 2018, a few photos have been coming up on my memories recently so that’s what has triggered it, and the only way I know how to cope is to binge-eat, because I can’t cry.
Yesterday was also the anniversary of the passing of my cousin’s little girl, so I was having sad feelings about that too.
I had a hair cut yesterday, I’ve finally found a barber I actually like, and I’ve lived here for almost 2 years and didnt even know it was there, only a 5min walk away. So that’s something positive.
🩵
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Day 10 - AF 
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