Doctors appointment this morning, glad to be getting the ball rolling and taking care of myself. Drinking has taken its toll on me. It is an evil liar, pretending to give when all it does is take. Sobriety provides what alcohol pretends to offer. Canāt change the past, but I can be sober now and from one moment and one day to the next. I am grateful to be a survivor and wonāt waste this chance. Lots of life still left to live, if I want it. I remember my reasons for staying sober.
Very tired today. I think my mind sometimes interprets exhaustion as depressionā¦. Been a very busy week emotionally and activity wise. So today Iāll take it easy and not push myself too hard. I know that behind this moment, this emotion, this day, thereās another one, full of mystery, and I want to be there for it.
Day 726
Feeling abit better today mentally/emotionally. But still so tired. My son is home from school today as he has an appt in the afternoon. We are getting ready for that soon. We have our buddy shift tonight with the new nurse that apparently sleeps alot on overnights. Im not looking forward to this shift. But Im not even going to stress over it tho bcuz if she falls asleep or my son isnt comfortable with her, then she cant do shifts here. Simple as that. My son has to feel safe and comfortable in his room. Not much else happening today. Just some cleaning and whatnot. Hope everyone is having a great friday!
I always enjoy seeing you pop up on my feed, and, as a mathematician, I love the maths gifs (please do post more)! Donāt stop being you.
Hope youāre well friend
1278 days no alcohol.
743 days no cocaine.
258 days no vape.
3 days no binge-eating.
-Caught up here.
-Read a chapter of the book Iām reading.
-Did some meditations.
-Received & unpacked a delivery of cat supplies.
-Took my rubbish & recycling to the outside bins.
-Cleaned the catsā water fountain.
More to be done tomorrowā¦
Been having some really intense chest pains intermittently throughout the day, so Iām going to do some more meditations now, to hopefully keep me calm, and then watch an episode of my favourite program.
Omfg thats terrifying. Today is night #6 weve had the cat. Still acting normal. It ate a lot of food today and drank water. It sleeps a lot but probably because the thing was as thin as a twig when it found us and is āregeneratingā lol we have a vet appointment tomorrow. I will be using construction gloves and 3 hoodies when i try and put it in the cage for transport. Hopefully the vet can give me some peace of mind as well. I will be rethinking the way i handle strays in the future. I was so naive to the fact that rabies is so dangerous if contracted.
18 days weed free. 2012 days alcohol freee. Still gamble free. Today im making mini beef wellingtons for my moms 60th birthday. Making a demi glace from scratch and bought a whole tenderloin that i will cut up and use to make individual wellingtons. Keeping my mind busy because iv been in a constant panic the last 48 hours.
Day 68
Still a bit down, but weāll manage. Donāt feel like seeing friends or talking these days. Another sober day though, thatās most important.
Thanks for sharing the PAWS thread @RosaCanDo, very informative video there about how our brain and hormones work in recovery.
@wahtisnormal Hey Zoe I am just seeing this now ā how are you holding up? I can not even imagine the frustration of living in a chaotic and messy atmosphere. Are you able to make a space of your own to retreat to when you are at home? Do not give up! I am hoping that you are able to find a way to make the living situation. We really are not in control over much in our lives but have to find a way to accept and deal with what we have in a healthy manner. Just know that everything is temporary. Do not worry about the weight (I do know how frustrating it is to not see some weight loss after having given up drinking ā believe me) ā keep working your recovery and the weight will also come off. @steve92 Oh Iām grateful that you were able to get a doctorās opinion. I too am a over thinker and am working on that as well. I do hope that you are able to breathe easier now. Sending you comforting vibes. I wonder if the high anxiety has caused the cravings to come in full force. Grateful that you were able to steer clear of them. Stay strong and vigilant @dustysprungfield Way to go Dave ā smart putting up your guard ahead of the weekend and being ready for that sneaky voice. I see that you are on the cusp of triple digits ā canāt wait to celebrate with you soon @sy1234 great to see you on the check in thread and with 6 days! I am sorry for the withdrawal symptoms. Keep working your recovery and they will subside soon. Looking forward to celebrating your 1 week with you tomorrow @catmancam SO sorry to hear about the grief that you are feeling. I know that our losses (however old they are) still effect us daily. Big hugs my friend I do hope the chest pains lessen with meditation. Do get it looked at if they do not go away. @juli1 WOOT WOOT check you out with your double digits! @cleanheart Glad that you are right back on track and working towards your day 1. Do call your sponsor as not calling and feeling ashamed of a relapse is what the addict self is causing you to think. The shame and isolation is what gives our addiction teeth to sink into us. Stay strong @tifflynn07 Way to go with your 40 days! I am sorry your son is unwell ā I do hope its not Covid and that he recovers very soon. Healing energy your way @jp123 1 month +of sobriety is amazing friend ā missed celebrating you yesterday ā Grateful that you have decided to stick with sobriety. You are doing a remarkable job ā keep going strong @hillbillychris So grateful to see you checking in and with 903 days! I am so very sorry that you still do not have any answers. This must be so frustrating as Iām sure you are unable to find proper closure. Sending much love to you and your wife. Here if you need support
@shel75 glad to see you checking in ā I am grateful that you finally got the insurance company to approve your medication. I do hope that it works for you. @jimz Yeah day 40! Way to go in telling that sneaky voice to Fuck off. Sometimes you have to be a bit harsh with it so that it knows you mean business. Will be a wonderful joy to wake up hangover free and with 41 days tomorrow
Checking in on Friday afternoon
Not much to report - have had a very active day even though i am super exhausted. Hoping to practice some self care now and enjoy a laid back evening. Did want to open up a bottle of wine but yeah how would that really help? It wouldnāt - i am amazed at how i can miss something that i know is so very bad for me in every sense. No fear of a slip here - happily sober!
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening. Sending you all so much love
Today was a pretty normal day. Went to the YMCA this morning, then a meeting. Came home lit my candles(which I adore), and ordered a pizza to pick up and bring back here. Then just chilling with my husband, watching the tv. Gotta start looking for things to make for Sunday.
Wishing you all a nice low key weekend!
Sick and ready for a restful weekend. Anxiety is crushingly high. Iāve fallen away from many of my healthy habits lately. I donāt know why it feels so impossible to start a healthy habit back up once Iāve let it slide. Hooray for the weekend though! Hope you all have a great one
In bed comfy watching āMen Of Honorā
Been nice catching up and being back here with the time to actually participate and connect. Thank you all for being here
Day 16. Drank from the time I got home from work till the time I passed out for 10+ years. First week wasnāt so bad due to my doctor putting me on Valium. Yesterday my anxiety and irritability was at an all time high and I had a fleeting suicidal thought. Nothing that I would act on but enough to share the shit out of me. Called my doctor and she said she would call me in some Wellbutrin but she didnāt and they are closed on Fridays. So frustrated at the entire situation. I hate how Iām feeling. And Iām starting to worry that Iām just a wimp going through the withdrawals.
Day 726 Evening
My day improved quite a bit once I finally got going. My son had his appt (it was a tough one) and then we came home to relax. I had a pretty big craving to use once hubby got home tho. Idk what caused it. The whole, āI can have just one and be fineā sort of thinking popped up. Sometimes it sort of overwhelms me to think that I am going to be clean and sober the rest of my life. It seems impossible. It just seems crazy to think that I can manage without a substance in my life. But thats why ODAAT is so important. Bcuz we only have today, thats it. I definitly need some self care tonightā¦ a nice shower, do my skin care routine, maybe light a nice candle, stuff like that. And of course a good rest. I have work this weekend so have to prepare for that. Hope everyone has a great night!
Welcome to the forum Amanda! Glad ur here. Honestly, ur not a wimp. It takes what it takes for us to get clean and sober. There were various drugs that i was addicted to, which required prescription meds for me to get thru the first couple weeks especially. Doesnt make us weak Even now i take prescription meds on a daily basis to help with my mental health. This in turn helps me in my recovery. Dont feel bad for needing help Thats what the Drs are there for.
sending well wishes for your son and your lab 
sending strength š©µ
Way to go in telling that sneaky voice to Fuck off. Sometimes you have to be a bit harsh with it so that it knows you mean business. Will be a wonderful joy to wake up hangover free and with 41 days tomorrow
