Welcome to the forum Amanda! Glad ur here. Honestly, ur not a wimp. It takes what it takes for us to get clean and sober. There were various drugs that i was addicted to, which required prescription meds for me to get thru the first couple weeks especially. Doesnt make us weak 
Even now i take prescription meds on a daily basis to help with my mental health. This in turn helps me in my recovery. Dont feel bad for needing help Thats what the Drs are there for.
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Glad you are here 
I understand the frustration of waiting on meds. You can do this and youāre not alone. Stay with us, we can stay sober together one day at a time 
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Welcome to the community Amanda and a great job on day 16. I am so sorry for that your doctors office did not call in your prescription. You are not a wimp. Withdrawals are a bitch and can be super intense. Sometimes we do need help from medications to help us through.
I am sorry you are feeling highly anxious and irritable. Are you able to try something like a hot bath or meditation or deep breathing (not sure if any of these will help - just ideas of what calms me down). Sending you love and strength to get through this weekend one moment at a time. Lean on us here - we have your back. Hoping that you will get your medication on Monday 
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Day 488
Long day. Took the kids to school at 7:30. Got to work at 9. Left work at 3 to take kids home from school and head into another shift. After I got home from shift two, I g
Took one of the teens to the grocery store and had them buy the things on the shopping list, put everything away, made dinner, and now itās almost 8:30. I have to be back at work at 5 tomorrow morning.
I hope it is an easy shift. Iām already tired for tomorrow
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Day 1. I canāt believe I let this go on for this long. Itās time for a change
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Not feeling like me rn. The thing is I have some friends, each one of them has or is causing so much stress and instability in my life. I mentioned in an earlier thread that one of these girls just self harmed and was hospitalized. Iāve been in her position before so when she told me what happened I got a Little twinge of envy. Which is horrible bc my friend needed me emotionally and I was so distracted by my own urges and being triggered by her description of the wounds. I struggled for a week after being stable for months. Iām not trying to sound like a victim but I truly was affected. Iāve been laying here wondering what kind of harming I should do to me.
Another one I mentioned is being very mean lately and it hurts my feelings. My therapist told me I need to work on not letting what others think bother me but itās tough when the digs and insults have become constant and sometimes in front of others. The worst part is Noone defends me. Itās up to me and that sucks. I wish someone would help me out, but Iām a big girl I need to do this. I need advice on what to say. Iām really struggling with both situations. My urges are bad and I hate it.
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Wow this sounds very overwhelming and frustrating. Im sorry ur going thru so many things right now 
I totally understand that feeling of āenvyā. I have gotten it before also when others have relapsed, and here I am wishing I could be the one to use, knowing full well where it would lead me. But then i have to remind myself of the pain, shame, guilt, etc that acting out has caused me in the past. Its never worth it! Ill usually refocus on my HP and turn my thinking and acting over to Him. Its crazy tho how our minds work honestly. It baffles me.
Ur other friend sounds mean. I understand ur therapist saying not to let things bother u but easier said then done. Personally, I dont think its ever okay to have to accept abuse in any form from someone. Is ur friend aware that what they say hurts u? If they are aware and choose to keep on with the nasty comments, it may be a good idea to set some boundaries. Saying something like, āI feel hurt and upset when I hear these kinds of comments from u. If these comments continue, I will have to no choice but to distance myself from u and our friendshipā. Idk, something like that may help and make them realize how serious this is. You deserve to be treated better!
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Welcome to the forum!! Glad ur here this is an amazing place for support. Uv made the biggest step admitting that change needs to happen. Way to go!
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70 days in the bank
Halfway through my shift, heading into evening. Steady day again, just busy enough to go quickly but all pretty mundane. Saturday night tonight so the nightshift could get busy. The city seems busy so chances of a quiet night are slim.
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Welcome to the show Boat 
Great day for a day 1. Iāll have another day 1 tomorrow with ya.
Hope to see you around.
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359
Looong day at work. Well, it felt long bc I havenāt stood on my feet for 7 hours straight since New Yearās Eve. I also ran errands for 4 hours before work, but Iām happy to say everything is caught up with money to spare. And after a busy dinner shift, today turned out great financially. Bout damn time! This is how Iāve learned not to dwell when Iām low. Eventually things usually turn around. Patience helps too.
One annoying thing tho. I sent my rent check on the 1st, from the mailbox at the post office. My landlord called saying he never got it. The check hasnāt cleared. I went to the post office and they didnāt have it. This isnāt the first time the postal service ālostā my envelope. One time it was sent back to me tattered, 2 months after the date I sent it! Hope itās there by Monday or looks like Iām writing a new check 
Hey I just realized this will be post 359 on here. Thatās funny. Gotta work in the morning so Iām getting ready for bed. Goodnight
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Day 39:
Good Friday. Tried sleeping through my alarm this morning, but woke up just in time to make it to bootcamp, good workout. Work is getting busier. We recently opened a retail flooring division to our installation business. Selling flooring isnāt new to me, itās how I got into flooring. The money can be good, but some customers can be challenging. Excited for the new opportunity though.
Still got home at a decent time. Had a good Peloton ride, nice stretch and then a great dinner of zucchini noodles in a pesto sauce with grilled chicken and shrimp, so good!
Showered and in bed now, excited to get to sleep in until 7:30, then back to the gym. My son and daughter will be here tomorrow. My daughter has her last high school sweethearts dance, always fun meeting her date with my son and me both there 
Sheās a senior so school dances are almost over, enjoying the last of her time in high school.
Iāve rambled enough, still happy, still sober, sweet dreams!
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Thank you so much. You are seriously an angel for always taking the time to reply to everyone.
Im 27 and this is something ive had to deal with my entire life. I know once i finally get my own place i wont have to worry about that anymore, so its something to look forward to. But living in this state has been the main if not the sole cause of all of my mental issues/cptsd/stress. Its exhausting after 27 years of nothing changing. But i know it wont be my entire life.
I am doing better - still frustrated/lost, pretty much always feel that way because the situation never changes. But some days are just harder than others and thats ok and expected. I really am grateful to have my own room to have space in.
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Day 230
Pre wedding night at the hotel. Alot of people staying there and actually not drinking made it easier to socialise and actually pay interest in people I hadnāt met beforeā¦
I am so blessed and pleased to see my nephew getting married and for him to be so happy.
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Day 521 AF. One of the dangers I am experiencing is the false proud of myself. In certain terms I am forgetting alcohol, but I am starting, again, to consider others as someone, or even something, that is anything but helpful.
Sometimes my life is full of āmaybesā and āperhapsā, instead of being realistic and try to full my life with love and kindness.
I consider myself as the best one. It is not a question to remember what I was when I was drinking, but to consider the important value of the others and how life does not turn around me.
Kind regards, one day at a time.
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Day 2
Worked a double today serving, it was our busiest day with the highest amount of sales EVER. I picked a good day to do a double. I havent made this much money in one day since my birthday 2 years ago. Im grateful for that, especially since ive had a lot of slow shifts lately. Helps make up for it. Serving shifts are also way easier than bartending shifts because I can just gtfo, i dont have to stay and spend an extra 3 hours cleaning the bar and closing down the whole restaurant.
Just ordered wings and watched some spongebob (on a mission to heal my inner child lately) and i finally get to sleep in tomorrow after not getting enough sleep all week. Looking forward to it.
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Todayās card turns out to be about connection.
80 sugar
36 UPF
2 overeating/binge
This business of differentiating between physical hunger and emotional cravings is really interesting and right now takes a lot of work. But it is powerful when I concentrate on it. The question that comes then is what do with the emotions? I can feed my physical hunger with food. What do I feed my emotional hunger with? Right now itās attention and patience. Letās see what else will come up.
Clubbing yesterday was very nice. Iām not much of an extrovert, but I enjoyed seeing my friends, having nice music around, and chatting.
Today itās back to daily routine: one day at a time.
A day of peace, light, kindness and freedom to you great people 
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1708
Didnāt have such a wild unrestful night forever, waking up anxiously 100 times from dreams that awake didnāt seem very scary. Well. In the end I did sleep for a couple of hours. And Luna was with me for most of the night, something she usually doesnāt do.
OK. Dry warmish day today. Better make the best of it. Want to ride my bike. And I will. Iām sober and clean, And will remain so, just for today. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love.
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Maybe itās time for new friends? 
Itās good to set boundaries like Dana already mentioned. But for me I would also reconsider if I want to have such āfriendsā.
You deserve better 
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I hope you will have an easy shift as well, You daily scedule made my tired only by reading
Respect for handling it!
Maybe you have a restday after this shift?
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