Thank you so much James - Appreciate you caring words and wishes. 
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couple of hours away from day 13! weekend coming up but feeling strong. will spend it playing games i think!
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Thank you again, but you make sure you are taking care of you.
Iām sorry to hear of your pain and sleep. What a miserable thing to not be well.
Wishing you comforting rest, and sun filled days my friend.
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Thank you Nick. 
I am trying to be gentle with myself and not get annoyed with my body. Luckily I donāt have anything pressing to take care of today so can be fully focused on me. 
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Hey Jaz! I just got her home. She did really good, no surprises during surgery so I am grateful for that! Thank you so much for asking. I am doing better than I expected, keep searching for the positives everyday right now and itās helping!
I am sending healing vibes your way as well 
and I hope tonight is better 
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Oh Ami thatās great news. Give her lovely cuddles from me if she is up to it or just blow gentle kisses her way. Wishing her a quick and safe recovery 
Appreciate the healing vibesā¦thank you!
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Congrats on day 50! ODAAT!
and 
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@zzz I love that! Thank you 
@Just_Laura congrats on your year 
@acromouse thank you š©µ I hope you enjoy(ed) your game
@Mno I love how that Seagull (?) is literally sitting on the bench looking out at the water, made my day a little brighter I hope you had a good therapy session š©µ
@Amy30 exciting 
Iām glad youāre feeling a little better
@Misokatsu sorry about the bureaucracy, that sounds overly intrusive 
@Tragicfarinelli congrats on 50 days well done for getting through the assessment š©µ
@IamThechange I hope everything went well today and Iām happy to read about the hopeful prognosis
@Deelzebub that cake and the cabaret ride sound like so much fun 
@JazzyS thank you Iām sorry you are suffering so much today sending you strength healing vibes š©µ:sparkles:
1285 days no alcohol.
750 days no cocaine.
265 days no vape.
10 days no binge-eating.
Saw the nurse, had my blood test and Testosterone shot. Showed her my back, she said it was bad but that there was nothing treatable. I said I had some Aloe Vera gel, and she said to keep applying that. She didnāt appear to know what it was, whereas I know from my extensive anxious Google research, that itās called Erythema Ab Igne. I am going to give it a week or two, then request a doctorās opinion, because based on all of what Iāve read, I think I will need to see a Dermatologist for biopsies/long-term monitoring.
While I was driving to my appointment and back home, the Sun was shining and I felt good, but once Iād been home a while it went all dull and grey outside and so did my mood. So Iāve just been laying with my cats and doing some meditations.
Today is the first day this week that I havenāt done any walking, so tomorrow I plan to do my walk regardless of the weather. I also plan to do some more declutttering and cleaning.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
š©µ
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Checking in. Today I slipped into an overthinking spiral that left me in a bad mood, but hopefully it helps me to realize that I have to move on, because everything else is a dead end. I mean I know it, but I donāt yet feel it deeply enough. Nothing else to report, I just have a busy weekend ahead of me full of work.
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Well if you see my recent post youād know I was let go of my esthetics program because of a verbal altercation I had with another student which was a really hard pill to swallow and led me back to sobriety and really prioritizing my mental health (the blessing in the pain), and that I was nervous about trying to get into this other school. Well I went to tour it today and it went the best it could have considering the circumstances. The owner is the sweetest lady, she was welcoming understanding and is willing to help me as much as she can to help me get financial help. And if I canāt get financial help, I do have savings and she is more than willing to give me a chance anyways. 
praying I can get financial help of course, but sometimes you have pay for your mistakes quite literally. 
and investing in my future will be very much worth it. They have more to offer at this school and is a much more welcoming environment, so I am trying to see the positives in this. I was going for an esthetics program which I might do here instead but they also offer a master esthetics program which would be even better but is of course more expensive. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers that this will work out for me. The guilt and shame that led to these consequences are difficult to face, but Iām proud of myself for still trying. Iām taking a social media break because Iām finding myself struggling with what others will think when they notice I stopped posting what Iām doing at school and I seem to have āfailedā at something I was so proud of and thatās really embarrassing to me. But what others think shouldnāt be my focus. Itās what I think of myself, which isnāt good either, lolā¦but Iām trying to fix that, and thatās what matters.
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Day 49. Having hit that number numerous time, I have to concentrate on not losing my mind on congrats, on these days, from another group. Itās one of the things that takes no place in my life. I am working on not calling out people (in my head) over bull. TouchĆ© on that deed.
āSuccess is an active process of accomplishments along the way.ā This is from the app. I rarely use the app and was happy to see this. Yes, people - hereās to ALL accomplishments!
A lot is really a hard time in my life. Some of the people in my life make it delusional that I make it through the day.
Letās just give happiness to the tidbit of flavor in my tuna salad sandwich. I am convinced that being alcohol-free helps the taste and smell issue. There is more Iāve looked up that I need to utilize every day. When you do look it up: 30% of people who get it back get it at 6 months. Thatāll be next month.
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Thank you doll 
. Find out in a week what āgradeā it is, thatās what they refer to it as instead of stage. Hopefully itās a low grade and with that surgery should take care of it, no chemo and no radiation and my fur baby will be a cancer survivor
Enjoy your walk and cleaning, I swear cleaning kept me sane today and
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Checking in on day 50. Iāve gotten into the 40s a couple of times before but never to 50. This time feels different. I have a totally different mindset. Iām eating & sleeping better, doing exercise, being a lot more sociable. Feeling a lot happier in myself & my new outlook on alcohol.
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Congrats on your 50 days!!!
and
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@IamThechange thank you so much. I never thought Iād ever feel happy without alcohol (and nicotine) and I never thought Iād feel so proud to be sober for this long. 
&š©· back at ya 
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You deserve all the happiness! Ride the wave one day at a time
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I feel good today
It was really a great week for me
I am so thankful
I feel different in my head and in my heart
I see the world differentlyā¦the colors are differentā¦I feel love and happiness in my heart like never beforeā¦
I still have negative feelings but I feel them with less intensity and letting go of them is easierā¦
Thanks to all of you for your support
Lots of love
Bisou
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