Can’t sleep check in. Today will be my last work shift for two weeks because I scheduled some paid time off. I’m celebrating two years alcohol free and my birthday. I’ll be taking two little vacations and have tons of coffee, lunch and dinner plans.
It should be a lot of fun but idle hands…
I’ll be checking in here every day.
Todays check in. I talked to my sister last night for an hour or so. She was actively drinking and was fairly drunk, per usual. Our dynamic has changed with me sober. I am no longer the little kid looking up to her. I see her drinking for what it is, a coping mechanism that used to work and now doesn’t. Sometimes dealing with drunk people is annoying for me but it NEVER makes me think “I want what they’ve got”. Clarity helps. I’ll stick to my water and coffee.
Now I have to try to get a little more sleep before I go into work for the last time for TWO WHOLE WEEKS. I’m getting excited…
Oh, that’s so funny! So you’re mattress spoiled! What a smart business to be in.
I gained and lost 40 pounds from 2020 to mid '23. Dropping 2,000 liquid calories a day made it a lot easier. I’ve come to realize the number isn’t what’s important, it’s how you feel.
One more tip, and I’ll be at my limit is to switch up your workouts. Don’t always do the same thing. Confuse your body by moving it in different way. It wants to move all the ways. Throw in a swim, a bike ride, or try kickboxing (a fav of mine that helps release anger if you have it). You’ll activate new muscle fibers. Anyway, keep up your hard work. I definitely see you putting it in
Good morning, everyone! I haven’t checked in for a few days. I’ve only popped on for a few minutes here and there to see what everyone’s been up to. Woke up to more snow yesterday morning. Im soooo tired of winter. There’s not a single thing i like about it. I still made myself go out and do everything i planned yesterday. I got my recent purchases for the service organization i belong to inventoried and put away, made a list of items i need to buy for an upcoming fundraiser and went shopping for them and groceries for home. I drove down to an Amish community that has a great surplus/discount grocery store. It’s a beautiful drive and i got some great deals. It was a long but productive day. I have a lot to get done today, too, but I’m being a little lazy this morning. I’ve been feeling sorta blah. Im still dealing with some pain in my hip from the MRI Thursday, but it’s getting better. I’m overdue for my B12 shot, which I’m going to give myself as soon as i get motivated to get off the couch. That should definitely help.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend.
49 days, feeling a little bit ‘meh’ today. But still strong, and very much sober. I have family visiting and i am enjoying their company despite feeling a bit overwhelmed by it. Wishing you all the very best!
@juli1 Way to go with 19 days love! Sorry about the damn chat that left you feeling so empty. I do hope that good mom time helped brighten your day @catmancam Oh that is great news – hope that the doctor can quickly get you to a dermatologist. Glad you finally got your bank card and got things sorted. Keep that progress going – love all your timers! @misokatsu I totally know the sensation of every little thing setting you off. Little things when you say out loud but huge as you feel them in the moment. I do hope your day got better as the day progressed. Big hugs Flo @just_laura Damn that sounds like a messed up frustrating night. I do hope that you are able to get in a nap or two today to recharge the battery. I am not sure but I feel like something in the air messing with sleep as I hear many people having issues sleeping lately. I do hope the cosmos reset soon. @chevy55 Woot Woot! 44 days is amazing work my friend. I know how frustrating it is when you are doing the right things and not seeing results. Keep at it friend – everyone’s body is different and works in a different way. Maybe try different workouts as our bodies get used to the same movement over time. Keep at it Nick – will hopefully be seeing results soon. No harm can come from leading a healthy life @trustybird OOH I am excited to see you getting some time off and going on your vacations. I do hope you enjoy them thoroughly in celebration of your 2 year milestone and your upcoming birthday @forgive_yourself Sorry that today is an off day. I do hope that you are able to find a way to be gentle with yourself and take it easy. Sending you hugs as you work through today. Here if you need to talk @shel75 sorry you are still dealing with pain from the MRI shot. I do hope you get the results quickly and that they are able to help you with whatever is causing you pain / discomfort. Rest and relax today. @shybert can relate to getting overwhelmed with company (even wanted company at times can wear me out). Hoping that your meh mood lifts and you are able to enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Checking in on Sunday afternoon
Still not getting much sleep or any relief. Glad i did finally take an Aleve to help tone down the migraine that started last night - it is so much more manageable now.
had a lovely time with my parents this morning just drinking coffee/ chatting and prepping (bedroom and meals) for after the surgery.
going to try to get some work done and then attempt a nap.
wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you so much love
Honestly, I’m still awake and surprisingly pretty alert. It’s one of those times when you only get a couple hours of sleep but apparently that’s all you needed I definitely had many of those nights during my drinking days, except I’d wake up still drunk and take a few swigs to keep me going I will, however, take this over the ‘I got 12 hours of sleep and I’m exhausted!’ kinda night any day. Hope your migraine goes away. They are no fun
Nice chilled weekend. Not thinking about drinking much anymore apart from a few triggering movie/TV moments where I romanticise. Went for a swim for the first time in a while, super nice.
Sleep is never great at my moms, its so open and my son seems to know he isnt homr and wakes up a bunch. But all in all its been pretty good, things are quite heavy but to be expected. Trying to figure out the schedule for the trial and how much I should be there.
Part of me feels like I want to be there everyday I can and bring earplugs if I dont want to listen. The other part of me feels like it serves no purpose to me to have all of the information regarding my aisters death and to have to listen to the defense. I think it is a lot of trauma waiting to happen, and yet I very much so feel like how can i not go? Like i need to know. I need to know these things especially to understand the outcome. I need to know what they are going to try and say about her so I can know what to say in my victim impact statement. I am, of two minds when it comes to this.
Love my kids & family, trying to stay tall but it has besn very difficult. I have found it very baffling/eye opening how we have been treated by CPS, given that we are not as vulnerable i would say as many of the families they generally deal with. If they would treat us this way, in a situation where we have done absolutely nothing wrong, where we have spent money on a lawyer (getting close to 30 gs now btw my mom dad and I), and I am very articulate and solution focused and I dont allow myself to be steamrolled…but if, as homicide aurvivors this is happening to us I imagine how people are treated everyday by them and there is no oversight. There is no one holding them accountable, they put in their notes WHATEVER they want. We have been treated like assholes, and now because support has been coming to my nephew they are pivoting to try and make it seem like we are fleecing them somehow and it is us who is taking advantage of them. The depravity knows no bounds. But I feel a stedfastness in my bones, I feel …not a power; no power is too ridiculous a word…but a grasp, resolve something.
I read something the other day that said something along the lines of how many intelligent and intuitive women have been called crazy simply because they have exposed someone elses shit? I dont think i have EVER seen the world this way before, so vividly. Again, i have always believed in corruption and i have a dislike for money, manipulative materialism and politicism of our world. Been tjis way for as long as I can remember. But i have never understood how you can be made the enemy, that level of manipulation. I dont think i ever understood that. I just thouhht you fight for whats right, and sure some people wont like it…but as shrewd as I have been and as much trust issues as Ive ever had…i feel like a literal child, naive and doe-like learning being today years old and learning truly how manipulative and messed up people can be.
Wow i always take a turn for the light!!! Anyway, dont take me too heavily im a cerebral nightmare going through something. Bless you all for giving me this space to spew XO & happy sobriety! Im 7 months now
Oh, that’s so funny! So you’re mattress spoiled! What a smart business to be in.
is to switch up your workouts. Don’t always do the same thing. Confuse your body by moving it in different way. It wants to move all the ways. Throw in a swim, a bike ride, or try kickboxing (a fav of mine that helps release anger if you have it). You’ll activate new muscle fibers. Anyway, keep up your hard work. I definitely see you putting it in 
to all of you
Happy sober sunday everyone have a great day.
I definitely had many of those nights during my drinking days, except I’d wake up still drunk and take a few swigs to keep me going 
I will, however, take this over the ‘I got 12 hours of sleep and I’m exhausted!’ kinda night any day. Hope your migraine goes away. They are no fun 
