Day 48. I am very grateful to be sober. I’ve definitely been depressed this week and I have slept in and not wanted to get out of bed this weekend. This morning, I was meeting friends at 11am for an early lunch/late breakfast. I got a text from one of them around 10:20 that she was already at the restaurant! Well, that got my butt out of bed. I got up and dressed and was there 10 mins before our 11am meeting time and I was the last one there. There was a wait for a table at the restaurant, so it all worked out, as we didn’t get called for another 5 minutes or so. Too funny. 10 minutes early is really good for me but I’ll need to remember that this is a “get there very early” group. We had a nice visit and then I went for a walk with one of my friends. Happy Sunday to all!
Checking in
2 years 5 days
20 minutes left of work and im heading home. I cant wait to get out of here honestly. Its been a looooong day. I am heading to the dollarstore on the way home and will try and grab some healthier snacks for tonights overnight shift with my son. My husband has caught a cold as well, probably caught it from our son, so hes resting. Basically tonight consists of laundry, dishes, and making supper. Then doing the awake overnight shift. I am craving my DOC right now. So theres that too blah 
But it too shall pass. Hope everyone has a great day/evening.
Checking in. I had a meet-up with my buddy who had just moved back to town, we had a really nice chat and saw a movie. It was really good and seemingly it hasn’t kicked me out of balance. I do have anxiety though, being afraid that it wasn’t good for her and she will just ditch me. It’s difficult to accept the uncertainty coming from the lack of knowledge about the other person’s side. Not sure why, but I only have this anxiety about maintaining relationships with girls. I always thought that I know them better so that is a field where I can feel more safe, but it’s the complete opposite now. These are usually deeper relationships, yet they feel a lot more inscrutable and fragile and it makes me keep distance.
Back and humbled. Realizing I can’t and shouldn’t do this on my own. Currently: 60 days af, 5 months nicotine free and 2 days no disordered eating. Happy for this community and happy to be sober. ODAAT
Way to go Jenny! you are absolutely crushing it with all your addiction free time. Keep this amazing momentum going strong 
Congrats on the 90! 
Harder. Definitly harder 
Congrats on the baby @noshame & your days free!! Its a blessing for yourself & your little one. Now…things may be smooth sailing with the little one as your new addition, but if its not and if theres exhaustion & life shifts & a new bit of chaos and commotion in life just know…its pretty darn normal. Just know, each little stage and phase of theirs will pass Wishing you health & happiness, and that you are able to soak in as much the little days as possible. They somehow only get cuter Big big congrats!
Day 403 sober. Have a lot of reading to catch up on. Sister-in-law visiting. She’s well-intentioned, I believe… but when my in-laws in general are visiting, it’s challenging. My husband and I come from very different backgrounds, and I just feel invisible in my own home. We have always done the most hosting in the family, being the only ones with children. When many come at once, I kind of feel treated like my place is to cook or tidy up and besides that… feel pretty looked past in most conversations. Sometimes blatantly ignored when I attempt to participate. It’s also like this when just my sister-in-law… but easier to accept/tolerate when just one guest, as opposed to the whole crew.
What our families do have in common is they were and are big drinkers. Always lots of wine/beer flowing during any occasion. A lot of heated political arguments common. My husband has been sober for over 5 years. I have been on and off - doing really well right now. His family respects our decision of not wanting alcohol in our home for the last year and a half… they mostly go elsewhere now.
We have had company a few times since and I definitely know I was often using alcohol to ease the discomfort on my part that has always been there.
I hope everyone doing well, or at least getting through. Just wanted to share in case anyone has struggled with a similar situation. On the bright side - I’m grateful that the kids get some time with their aunt. We live several hours from any family. I need to either speak up or accept that it’s only ever for a few days at a time. It mostly hurts that our kids see these interactions and will pick up on these things, if they haven’t already.
Great to see you posting Jenny.
Congrats on the 60 days sober
and the 5 and 2.
Day 497
Today was better. Just in an odd mood. It’ll pass, as everything else does. Hope y’all are doing ok
79 days in the bank
Early check in today as I’m at work again for nightshift. Had a couple days off to head out of town for the weekend.
Good day at home. Went to the gym and caught up several days worth of the push-ups challenge in between rounds.
Then just chores around home till the kids got back from school.
Checking in. Was having a great day and then some old actions/regrets came back to haunt me. Struggling with those mentally but glad to be here and going to bed sober.
1717
Made it through my working weekend. Handled stuff at work pretty well in the end. Although the results with individual patients varied. All we can do is try and nudge folks in the right direction. While sometimes (quite often actually) I’d like to give them a huge kick in the butt. Although that wouldn’t help either. In the end we all have to help ourselves. With a little help from our fellows and friends. Like we do here. We’re in this together. Thanks so much for being here with me. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
@JoeDogs Thanks for being here Brad. Good and bad moments. On we go. Sleep well.
Thanks @Mno. I love your “tag”: This place has been instrumental in keeping me sober and clean. Never again. Life’s much better this way. Not easier. Better.
Added it to my daily journal as a reminder.
Checking in on day 327
☆☆☆
Clean and sober
☆☆☆
Sweet dreams ya’ll
368
Man, a wave of exhaustion just hit me 
I can’t believe I made it through the day, and in such a great mood! I tried laying down but my mind wouldn’t stop, and my body was rested, just didn’t have actual sleep. Probably the shittiest nights sleep I’ve had all year. It’s crazy how much easier it was to get thru without the weight of alcohol pulling me down. Used to pull these all the time as long as I could keep drinking. Then I’d end up blacked out by 5pm 
Nothing like having your hangover start at night, while you’re still drinking. Pathetic.
My daughter’s off school this week and she’s staying a couple extra nights at her dad’s. Gonna finally get to bed and hopefully get the right amount of sleep. Night 
Day 20 AF
Feeling quite good.
At my parents house, re-arranging living situation.
Much love
- Day 1980
Quick checkin.
Had an easy going sunday and I have a difficult busy day in front of me.
My focus is to stay calm and do not let myself slip into overdrive
Wish me luck
Ps fat red monster says hi too
@Just_Laura Have a good night’s rest.
@Vikingsfan I find family visits from my in-laws always extremely draining too. There is a family dynamic on their side playing out every time which I don’t like. Previously I would stuff myself to ease the discomfort. But that’s their stuff, not mine. To tackle that would take a lifetime and I can live with playing the background fiddle for a few days. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with that more often. Sending you strength and energy 
Thanks for sharing
@Mira_D Congratulations on 7 months. That’s huge 
Tons of strength for your trials
@zzz You’re the sweetest And you’ve got really beautiful places to run.
@JazzyS Hope the migraine lifts soon 
89 sugar
45 UPF
7 overeating/binge
One week no binge or overeating. That is a strange feeling. Overeating is always a gray area. I’ve been focusing on physical hunger signals this first week and will keep at it. Let’s see how my perceptions here will sharpen.
New Monday, new week. I want to finish this last game, only one class left to code. This will be the end of a learning/practice cycle of about 15 months. This week is work wise going to be about finishing up this cycle, cleaning up, letting go and being bored before I start something new. I have many ideas. One will come to the front.
I’m very grateful I’m in a stable place with my work. This has not been the case for the most of my life. Usually I would feel lost and confused about what to do with my life. As silly as this might seem, making video games gives my life meaning.
I have a class at school today. Curious what the kids will come up with. Yoga in the afternoon. Maybe something stronger today
Whatever may come today I’ll deal with it and the feelings around it without numbing and acting out. One day at a time.
Wishing you fine folks a day of peace, kindness and freedom 
Day 240. Rubbish weekend, mainly used to catch up from visitors.
Working 8-5 today. Some difficult meetings today but some good ones too.
240…blimey the time is flying by. I remember this time last year most weekends I would have drank too much and woken up wondering what id got up to