Early check in today as I’m at work again for nightshift. Had a couple days off to head out of town for the weekend.
Good day at home. Went to the gym and caught up several days worth of the push-ups challenge in between rounds.
Then just chores around home till the kids got back from school.
Checking in. Was having a great day and then some old actions/regrets came back to haunt me. Struggling with those mentally but glad to be here and going to bed sober.
Made it through my working weekend. Handled stuff at work pretty well in the end. Although the results with individual patients varied. All we can do is try and nudge folks in the right direction. While sometimes (quite often actually) I’d like to give them a huge kick in the butt. Although that wouldn’t help either. In the end we all have to help ourselves. With a little help from our fellows and friends. Like we do here. We’re in this together. Thanks so much for being here with me. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
@JoeDogs Thanks for being here Brad. Good and bad moments. On we go. Sleep well.
Thanks @Mno. I love your “tag”: This place has been instrumental in keeping me sober and clean. Never again. Life’s much better this way. Not easier. Better.
Man, a wave of exhaustion just hit me I can’t believe I made it through the day, and in such a great mood! I tried laying down but my mind wouldn’t stop, and my body was rested, just didn’t have actual sleep. Probably the shittiest nights sleep I’ve had all year. It’s crazy how much easier it was to get thru without the weight of alcohol pulling me down. Used to pull these all the time as long as I could keep drinking. Then I’d end up blacked out by 5pm Nothing like having your hangover start at night, while you’re still drinking. Pathetic.
My daughter’s off school this week and she’s staying a couple extra nights at her dad’s. Gonna finally get to bed and hopefully get the right amount of sleep. Night
Day 1980
Quick checkin.
Had an easy going sunday and I have a difficult busy day in front of me.
My focus is to stay calm and do not let myself slip into overdrive
@Just_Laura Have a good night’s rest. @Vikingsfan I find family visits from my in-laws always extremely draining too. There is a family dynamic on their side playing out every time which I don’t like. Previously I would stuff myself to ease the discomfort. But that’s their stuff, not mine. To tackle that would take a lifetime and I can live with playing the background fiddle for a few days. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with that more often. Sending you strength and energy Thanks for sharing @Mira_D Congratulations on 7 months. That’s huge Tons of strength for your trials @zzz You’re the sweetest And you’ve got really beautiful places to run. @JazzyS Hope the migraine lifts soon
89 sugar
45 UPF
7 overeating/binge
One week no binge or overeating. That is a strange feeling. Overeating is always a gray area. I’ve been focusing on physical hunger signals this first week and will keep at it. Let’s see how my perceptions here will sharpen.
New Monday, new week. I want to finish this last game, only one class left to code. This will be the end of a learning/practice cycle of about 15 months. This week is work wise going to be about finishing up this cycle, cleaning up, letting go and being bored before I start something new. I have many ideas. One will come to the front.
I’m very grateful I’m in a stable place with my work. This has not been the case for the most of my life. Usually I would feel lost and confused about what to do with my life. As silly as this might seem, making video games gives my life meaning.
I have a class at school today. Curious what the kids will come up with. Yoga in the afternoon. Maybe something stronger today
Whatever may come today I’ll deal with it and the feelings around it without numbing and acting out. One day at a time.
Wishing you fine folks a day of peace, kindness and freedom
I’m feeling down yet again. It’s a strange existential crisis where I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life. I think I really, desperately need to start getting out of my place more. I’m basically a prisoner of my own anxiety where even just getting out for 20 mins to walk the dog fills me with unimaginable dread.
Seeing my shrink on the 1st and I decided to give the mood stabilisers a shot. Like… I’m doing everything right (exercise, eating healthy, almost no added sugar, not a drop of alcohol) and yet day-to-day functioning is still too much of a struggle. I can feel fine in the morning and emotionally empty by the time I get into bed. Maybe it’s time for yet another tweak in my meds.
I feel almost the same way lately and can totally relate. Hope you can get your meds tweaked. I recently switched to zoloft and feel that my depression has flared up more than my anxiety. But i guess atleast im getting some OK sleep now.
Good morning friends! Checking in on day 80. Had a dream I used last night, woke up at 2am super mad at myself, fell back asleep after about an hour. A few hours later I wake for the day and I am so grateful it was dream and they anger is gone. It was my first dream about using, I don’t think I ever stayed sober long enough to have them before, they are strange. Hope to not have one again anytime soon! I hope you all have an amazing day!
and
Great post @Jimz! So happy you are waking up refreshed today!
I just got to keep at it. It was a hard night and didn’t sleep well. My daughter seemed to be sick and threw up 4 times throughout the night so there is a lot of cleaning that needs to be done. I also have to work today. Just got to keep moving forward and do the best that I can. One day at a time.